deepundergroundpoetry.com
Grumble
After three quarters
of a bottle
and just a dash of lemonade
I've realised
that I've been able to see
the angel
for the last 5 years
If I'd only looked;
sometimes it takes
an altered state
or the sound of a distant jet engine
to find something
of a bottle
and just a dash of lemonade
I've realised
that I've been able to see
the angel
for the last 5 years
If I'd only looked;
sometimes it takes
an altered state
or the sound of a distant jet engine
to find something
Published 7th May 2013
| Edited 8th May 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 717
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
7th May 2013 5:53pm
8th May 2013 8:13pm
I was thinking: because that word 'angel' comes in between those lines as a bit of a surprise, because it's not something that crops up in conversation much now, it'd be even better if the title didn't imply it at all, so it came straight at the reader without them having time to put all the pieces together. Angel in your face suddenly, what're you going to do but think about the little but lovely discrepancies in life, and the fact that it makes you think of pudding and things with wings, but is anchored like that in between solid words. And then having those distant jet engines up against 'angel' is great. Like the umbrella/sewing machine thing that someone once said.
8th May 2013 8:52pm
Ah.....now THAT is a good comment. I like your idea!
I'll go back inside myself to find something suitable....
Thank you :)
S
I'll go back inside myself to find something suitable....
Thank you :)
S
