Happy Haiku

Oh, but it could, given enough time.

Clever haiku.  :)

Good short poem, but it isn't a haiku as it doesn't focus on a natural image or even have the traditional syllable count. Maybe you could just call it "Happy"? Because it is that! Thank you for the read.

Haiku (俳句 ) (no separate plural form) is a very short form of Japanese poetry typically characterised by three qualities:  
 
The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru).  
 
[1] This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them  
 
[2] a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colours the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related.  
 
Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae), in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 on respectively.  
 
[3] Any one of the three phrases may end with the kireji.[4] Although haiku are often stated to have 17 syllables,[5] this is inaccurate as syllables and on are not the same.  
 
 
..........................
 
 
Don't you think Death and Happiness juxtapose well? I do....  
 
:-o  
 
'Hedonism' felt like the perfect kireji -
 
And I wouldn't say I was far out on the syllable count,  
 
S

You don't need a traditional syllable count, but you do need a natural image and at least one natural word ("summer", "wind", "leaves" etc.). The first line of this poem presents no idea or image, natural or otherwise, just a descriptive word, so how "hedonism" works as a kireji is beyond me. Also, at what point in my comment did I say that I don't think death and happiness juxtapose well?
Frankly, Steven, if you're going to get defensive then I won't bother commenting on your work in future. You asked for honest critique, so that's what I gave you.

I owe you a reply, but frankly I can't be bothered to argue how you categorise my poems.

If you're that bothered, then don't comment

short and powerful.