unyeilding

today is as yesterday
over two years and its the same way
the same emotion
stuck in the same ocaen
the simplest of things brought this ocean of pain to bare
so much care
again i saw her
and again this ocean undid itself
all my work to cover and make it feel soild came undone
came to class and there she was
this felt as if my frist wall was broken like glass
but solid i felt
num and safe
this was nothing more than a colloge recuter and some students
but to me it was hell
slowly i remembered how i love her
how i care
how it was as if the world had hope
short yet it weighs so heavily
silent i was
trapped in my pain
theres nothing left to salvege
not a hope on the moon
my heart would disagree
and what a big heart it be
it burns and bleeds to she her face
as i sat it only got worce
and it was her turn to speak
my wall was shaken
and now it fell apart
the frist hint of her voise perced my wall like paper
and it hurts near unbaribly
how i needed my knife
to relive the pain
to make my heart feel less
yet bleed more
if tears could come
they'd dry me up
num is stronger though
sometimes its hard to remember
its turely not her
for her i am glad
to watch her grow
to know she'll achive
but graeter is my pity of me
its selfish beyound belief
to know i should hurt so much
becuse i'm lonely
and i have no one else
she was my best freind
anything for her would have been done
she was blood to me
it wasn't ment to be
and i am here
lonely suffering and drowning in missery
and she has progessed so far
this is the evil thought that pearces me
so deeply
its been so long and yet this pain is so great
its unyeilding