why all the fuking pain?

im sick of crying,
i always am,
it has become a rutene i guesse.

i dont know how,
or when but it just happend.
the little girl in those photos is not me,
not the real me.
i am sick, blood thirsted and in pain.

i thought if i stbed my heart out it would all go away..
im scared of getting close,
but i hate being alone.

im sick of cutting,
dosent to shit..
i go deeper everytime,
trying to die,
right now..
im bleeding crying,
trying to type.

but why?
what made me this way..
ill never know,

put the knife to my throte,
afraid of letting go
i cant drown my demons,
they know how to swim.
the higher i get,
the lower i sink

put the knife to my throte...
leave it al behind

(gooodby, slefish i know but goodby, i love you all, you oh so verry talented but my time hass come, when i die, the only kindom ill see, 2 foot wide and 6 foot deep, love you sis, love you ohem, matt,chad,tom, all of you! good by)