When life stops giving.

Really cool imagery, darkness with curiosity.
My fave line " he turned his head away with a sigh dragged deep from the unlit depths of his knowledge"
So cool:)

Thank you :)

Vundabar!

I especially like the first stanza
"Tapestries of moss gather up their forces;  
furled curls of jade latch onto soil,  
bones gazing up from underneath"

gives a vivid image! Please continue to write more :)
~Darbadillo xox

Thank you! :D

YES!!
Wonderful Imagery!!

Thank you, jemac :)

Very much a "Scribbler original"....
Like the old classical poets, very well written!!!!

Thank you, Mourganna :)

This is the first time I have read anything by you so this was a pleasant surprise. I've stuck it straight in my reading list for the following reasons:

This poem is so far up my street it's like I was meant to read it. The language is simply beautiful. The second stanza is my favourite I think. The apocalyptic imagery intertwined with the perpetual sadness and longing really works well. The smack of a line at the end really brings home the whole poem. To me, this is the whole package.

Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for the read.

You've hit the nail on the head,
once, twice, thrice.

That's exactly what I meant to
put across.

Thank you, Miss_Sub.

Scribbler this poem is pure art..the whole poem is perfect with a great stick at the end..thank you..peace Crim

Thank you, Crim. Your comments are kind :)

Ah, another treasure from our Scribbler. Listed.

Stunning, just the right blend of darkness and wistfulness.

Thank you, Atakti :)

SHit!Im in awe!
Don't know what to say to descibe such a Masterpiece! Reading list!
PROFOUND! :)

Thank you! *Blushes*

last line speaks lifetimes!

Thank you, Mr Vortex :)

Geez Scribbler, You always awe me, others said it, i'll repeat it cuz it true---this is art!!!
You peened as the classics but in YOUR voice and bending of life!!! it is a Masterpiece!!!
are memories lost, or pushed away?
unattainable? things are so grey with these things
Death is never easy and at times I kill things off without enough reason, save only the passion of the moment...then I regret and pay hell trying resuscitation...many graveyards litter, real and figurative...I try to re-mold as many figurative ones as I possibly can...for life enjoyment and living by the "right and wrong" code....this was a thinker:) kudos!!!  

Thank you, Soul. Insightful comment :)

Scribbler... so many comments, it must have all been said. But still, had to show appreciation for this. It's fantastic. "when life stops giving" solid ending nailed it.

Thank you, Scat :)

Thank you, Kasupuu :)

This is a really curious piece.
I could see "death" clearly,
sighing. You make me think Scribbler :)

Nice one.

I'm glad I make you think,
thank you kindly :)

Could you get anymore profound? I don't think so mate. GREAT JOB!!!

Thank you, sir :)

Thought provoking, profound ink, Scribbler. Great lines, imagery, & I adore the last stanza, in particular. Beautiful work, Poet! One for the reading list!! :)

Carlene

Thank you, Carlene! :)

Wow, I have missed this. It beautifully crafted and profound.

Thank you :)

Thankfully, despite our ignorant and conceived attempts to destroy our world, "life continues giving"

But for how long? Thank you for your comment
Soul man :)

What a mountain of comments to skim over. :)

I've been reading what you've written since I started following you a while back. Your talent is quite blatant, you are a good writer, but what I'd like to see is something more simple and subtle.

In this poem I don't see any need for the word 'furled', because 'curls of jade' does the same thing, it's simpler and a quicker image. Things like 'ebbing glow' maybe sound nice, but the image is too obscure because of the wording, whereas 'death harnessed' is quite wonderful.

I think if you get to the core of an idea, and use more honest/real wording, you'd be unstoppable. It's always the words, but the words are equally as important as the message. People have to relate, or feel as though they could. This is a nice poem. DU did it justice.

I understand where you're coming from,
I've been trying to work on simplicity
but I keep getting sucked into a vortex
of useless words, or 'fillers',  
words used only to fill a space.
I'll keep your feedback  
in mind for my next upload.
 
Thank you for the helpful comment :)

Filling's not necessarily a bad thing, unless it's adverbial filler. I think you're doing fine. Was just sharing my thoughts.

Very potent vibe, that last line was almost chilling.

Thank you, poet :)

Don't call me sir, I'm a writer after all :)

Thank you, poet.  
 
*been writing letters for
4 hours: reflex*

:)

He he, don't sweat it, being a writer could be my job one day, and we wouldn't want them thinking I'm some stifled old man now, would we.

Certainly not, though many refined poets are stifled old men :)

The penultimate and final strophes are brilliant. In my opinion they are a seperate piece of poetry that stand alone.

Thank you for your opinion :)