Doggie Fashion

 When it came to sex John was naive
Any sort of crap he would believe
His mates at work oft took the piss
But John could never see through this
They had fun and laughed delirious
Whilst the silly bugger took ‘em serious

John had got a girlfriend new
And asked for tips on what to do
To give her maximum sexual joys
Any new positions? Tell me boys
Well said his foreman with a smile
Have you tried it doggie style?

What’s that said John? Please make it plain
And I will strive with might and mane
To give her love the best I can
And be her one and only man

Surely you’ve seen how the doggies shag?
Straight up the back where the tail does wag
Kneel behind her grab her hips
One quick thrust and in it slips
No said John I didn’t know
Think I’ll give that one a go

John came to work with two black eyes
And limping where she’d kicked his thighs
His balls were sore where she’d kneed his crotch
He said that doggie stuff‘s just too much
They asked: What in hell has happened to you?
I went and did that doggie screw
But god she put up a helluva fight
Getting it done took half the night
And as you see I got real beat
Dragging her out into the street  ;-)