Theater

I am not the one they can see,
for them i am the mask i wear,
to hide how my mind bleeds,
when they can not see they do not care...

I fooled myself with my own theater,
smile and laughing i wore on my face,
and i believed that i still can,
somehow the blush turned down,
i lost my crown falling and breaking,
little pieces of glass a little pieces of happiness,
sunk in the ground, consumed by blindness.

I no longer feel the sun,
i no longer feel the moon,
please do not make me more blue,
but i can even beg to get what i need to rebuild myself,
but the begging comes too short to be enough,
not sure if there is something that i could say,
to make them see how painful is this,
i would sacrifice so much,
but now when i feel that someone can not even push me few seconds of life,
it feels so disappointing to face the truth,
as its needles are firing over the old wound,
they can not make it heal or they do not want to ?

It has been a long time since i knew that i am good,
it has not been so long though i just said it,
i want someones hands to pull me trough,
those that are not willing to jump into this use,
and those that are, i do not even want,
so i play i am ok but sometimes i can not hide,
so from now i will never show what i got,
it will not help me, help anyone,
is there something that could help me ?
is there something ?
i am not sure how long my make-up will hold,
not sure how long i can play that play,
of Him with Smile....