The Weekend

I still have the bruises
the scratches
on my hips
my thighs
left behind from last weekends
heady adventures
smiling to myself
I trace patterns around
the fading marks
and laugh out loud
until water leaks from my eyes
and I can no longer sit up
closing my eyes
I re live that night
the smell of sweat and alcohol
drift around me
i can still feel your hands on me
the way your heavy member
rubbed against my lower back
the feel of your hand finding its way
up my stomach to my breast
shaping them
I remember moaning
and your slurred  words
whispered against my ear
as the flashing lights
hit our body's
I became lost
care free
with my surroundings
the music encouraged my dancing
and the alcohol gave me a reason
my mind was clear from worries
as you wrapped your fingers in my hair and pulled
It was so easy to feel alive
that night
I refused to look at your face
I didn't want you to remember me
my actions
yet when I tried to pull away
other hands grabbed me
refusing me my freedom of fresh air
and space
but for that night
that one night
It was OK
everything was OK
shaking my head i snap out of my walk down
memory lane
and back into reality
shoving my fingers through my hair
I pull
loving the little stings of pain against my sensitive scalp
because they remind me I'm not completely numb
not yet dead