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Submissions by toniscales (Lost Girl)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
I am very critical of my own work but I tend to love intensely, and writing is an emotional release I can't seem to resist.
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21st Jun 2018 2:57am
For Daddy: A Novel Excerpt
Who am I? Not the body, because it is decaying; not the mind, because the brain will decay with the body; not the personality, nor the emotions, for these also will vanish with death."
She felt like she had been running all her life.
But she'd done it. She'd escaped.
I'm doing it for you. She thought to herself. I'm doing it for daddy.
She took her cracked phone from her pocket. She wasn't sure where her purse was. But she wasn't sure what her name was either. But she flipped...
3rd Jun 2018 9:25pm
In the fun warehouse, the pigs were
Dying and you wouldn't kiss me.
I left you to the beautiful blond and brunette
Who mashed their lips against yours
And congratulated your success.
I knew I was groggy as I wandered
The fun house. I was searching for your
Replacement frantically to try to dispel
The pain. But suddenly the crowd was
Only interested in the pigs.
The pigs were brought in alive
But their heads had already been sliced open.
They looked up at me with bewildered eyes
As I ran from room to room, hoping...
31st May 2018 10:55pm
Trying to Find What to Do with Myself
The day collects voices. Echoes.
All day long I can hear it,
The incessant hum caused by
My haunting loneliness and ache.
Sweat drips from my brow. It's
A strange sort of chime,
It means I am alone.
I try to fill the hours
Like water jugs. Perfect lines
Of liquid. Perfect lines
Of thought, of action.
Or at least, til sleep comes.
There is not much worse
Than sleepless nights,
Being truly alone with oneself,
Nude, softly grasping.
7th Apr 2018 00:30am
Don't Turn the Light Out Yet
I look at your beautiful face.
I don't want the light turned out yet.
There's still so much to do and see.
Please, don't let it be over yet.
I'm still hoping and waiting for
That kiss that might never come,
The kind of kiss that makes
Planets collide and stars weep,
That can only come from true love.
I have so much to do
I haven't done yet.
I finally might have figured out
The secret to being happy.
I want a few years to test out
I look at your beautiful face.
You are always and...
23rd Mar 2018 5:17pm
At midnight, the train comes.
Maybe it’s at ten o’clock,
Maybe it's at one.
But the train sounds its whistle.
It plays a chord.
It first starts off in major,
Then shifts to minor the closer it gets to my window.
I listen and pull the covers
over my head.
At 43, my little child's hand,
The one that sleeps inside my big hand,
The one who is still eight years old and terrified,
Reaches out to touch and explore
Different parts of my body.
Mommy, I whisper, It hurts.
My big hand covers my heart. ...
#love #grief #loneliness
23rd Mar 2018 5:06pm
Please Be My Daddy
The city was congested with traffic.
I was homeless. I wondered if he was too.
I couldn't stop staring at him as he stood across the street. He smoked cigarette after cigarette, and so did I.
He was agonizingly beautiful. Painfully gorgeous. His beard, his tattoos. He had a dark backpack slung over one shoulder that almost resembled a guitar case from afar.
I prayed to him. I whispered under my breath.
"Please, please be my daddy." I'd follow him to the ends of the earth if only he'd let me. I imagined fighting life at his side, the...
#love #grief #lust
22nd Nov 2017 2:42am
My Two Baby Boys
(for Joshua and J'don with so much love)
You gave me a gift today.
I've never seen two more adorable
Boys than you.
I feel like you liked me today.
You gave me the gift
Of mommy today.
I felt like mommy again.
I felt a little needed.
A little necessary.
We talked of video games
And Call of Duty
And cartoons and YouTube
And you two showed off
Your awesome gymnastics,
And I remembered how I once
Took gymnastics as a child,
And how much fun it was.
And I caught myself watching ...
21st Nov 2017 6:02am
She knew she'd been sad for a long time.
Her mom had died earlier that year. She didn't know denial was a real thing.
She realized... She had been in denial of her mother's death for a whole year.
She was an older woman. 43 to be exact.
She was staying at hotels. She didn't like being home anymore, especially at night.
She kept seeing her mom. Everywhere.
Mom. She thought to herself.
You're really gone, aren't you.
You're not coming back, are you?
And Timothy... He'd shown up earlier that...
21st Nov 2017 5:59am
Heaven and Salvation
You hold me in your arms
And talk of Jesus.
Of heaven and eternal paradise.
That you know what I want
But it's not what I need.
I've lost everything and everyone
I ever loved.
I'm 43. I don't know what happened
To me as a child. I don't remember
My childhood really anymore.
I know I can't seem to change
The way I am. I always got
Through everything difficult
For one thing alone:
I always did it for daddy.
I hope I find my daddy someday.
I'm starting to give up hope
#childhood #conflict #secrets #abuse #UnrequitedLove
15th Oct 2017 7:55pm
Walking and Talking to My Mom Today
5th Sep 2017 3:19am
The Bad in Me
(Ty to those who have left comments. I've been going through a lot lately. Lol. Much more to post later. But I think it's going to be OK. Hope everyone is doing great.)
It's so bad in me tonight.
I need... I need...
Simply, I need...
I need you.
I need you kissing me passionately.
I need to feel your body hard against mine.
Just the sight of your back...
It's so bad in me lately...
And right now...
It's really, really bad. ...
18th Aug 2017 10:35pm
Victory is Mine
Just from a picture of you.
The room needs to darken,
The door shut and locked.
Because it's starting in me.
No one could realize...
No one could understand what I feel.
And when it comes over me,
I have to satisfy it.
It's too strong,
Too powerful to ignore.
It's within me now.
It's like a seed that gets planted.
But it grows quickly, violently.
It's like a knocking inside my body.
And the door must be answered.
And it has...
DU Poetry : Submissions by toniscales (Lost Girl)
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