Submissions by thathustla

I want to remember the better days
Before he hurt me in so many ways
someone who offered me nothing but support
My mind is something so easy to distort

He was broken so young... lived a life full of pain
But he always fought... a battle in vain
When I think of the things he made it through
I have to believe he wasn’t always so blue

A man full of love... and anger... so much rage
Trapped in a broken body... a truly horrible cage
It never stopped him from living, not without cost
I’m sorry to say, without him I feel so lost ...

Why am I so afraid of sleep?
So few know the secrets I keep
Nightmares wake me up with screams
Terror few will ever know it seems

I can’t be open with my thoughts
So I tie myself in so many knots
Crystal methamphetamine?
Better than the things I dream

I would rather stay awake for days
Eyes open... sitting alone in such a haze
The only drug that keeps me sane
Is heroin as it runs through my veins

The only peace I really know
Is when I’m lost in her warm glow
I’ll only buy a point I say
That doesn’t...

Music plays
Life delays
Tears fall
Trying to crawl
I remember back
Life was on track
A girl named Megan
Not even a pagan
But I let her in
Showed all my sin
She had disgust
Took all my lust
Brought me pain
Made me insane
Cut, burned, and broken
Sold like a fucking token
But I couldn’t leave
No matter what she cleaved
Tried to have family
I can’t... not me
After every test
She just left
I couldn’t move on
Even see the dawn
So many years
And fears
Always alone ...

https://youtu.be/yCC_b5WHLX0

I find myself awake all night long
Sitting listening to my favourite song
A screen shows me the artist just died
Fuck... I can’t believe how hard I cried

A song about love... beautiful but wicked
I did what she said... but my way was twisted
I lied... tricked... and fuck... I also stole
And in the end it feels like I lost my soul
 
I did it all without a thought about cost
look at me now... and everything I’ve lost
I hurt so many that called me friend
Ripped myself apart, a...