My heart's been breaking for years. The slow fracture growing bigger each year. The gradual death of a heart is a sad, dull ache that is surprisingly easy to become accustomed to (like the frog that boils to death as the cold water turns ever so gradually warmer). Life with a broken heart is a life without exclamation points. It is the life of the living dead. In some ways it is not much different than any other kind of life. It is full of many of the same things: work, bills, kids, entertainment. But, it is layered with a never ending fog. There are good moments, for sure. That is what...
My eyes are heavy, closing. My mind pulling me to sleep. I felt so awake before, My body must know more. Preparing for what's to come, The predictable, hum drum. I should be energized, revitalized; The fire being stoked, Potentials evoked. My mind would never forget; I used to seek a new mindset When my body fought against my goal. But now my hope has changed, I've found another way to go.
I put up a fence so all I'd see Are trees swaying in the breeze, Hammocks hung for relaxing, And the clear blue sky above. I put up a fence so I'd forget What's on the other side. The noise, The pain, The multitude putting up a fight. I put up a fence so I'd not see The masses on the other side. The hungry, The families, Those working hard to provide. I put up a fence to improve my view. It worked so well that now, My children know only of what they see; Ignorant and distant from most humanity. My children are building...
My parents taught me to live for my future. My teacher taught me to live for my professional future. My church taught me to live for the hope of a distant future. My employer taught me to live for her future. My husband wants me to live for his present and his future. How do I live for my today?
Are you out there anywhere? Our bodies know each other; [DNA similar to mine, Mother or father we share.] The missing piece of my life. I yearn to know your story~ How are we different and alike? What do you do with your days? Are you a dreamer like me? Have you a different appetite? Do you ever think of me While falling asleep at night?
I am a conTEXTual, multi- FREE-sPiRiteD dimensional, girl.
Anti-depressants to cope with the pain Of not fitting inside the box I've been placed. Knowing what I know from livin', Recognizing my child's similar to me... Is allowing him to pass through the sheep gates of the American...
What is love all about? Is it Mickey selling his harmonica to earn enough money to buy Minnie a gold chain for her watch; and Minnie selling her watch so she can afford to buy Mickey a case for his harmonica?* Is it doing, being, saying Always what is best for the one you love? Are there ever any boundaries? Are you a better person if you embrace suicide? I'm holding onto life... How do I make the ultimate sacrifice? Can I? Will I? I think I'd rather die.
I miss you... How can that be? I don't even know you, yet I feel your absence from me! Keeping my mind on my beautiful life; All the while concealing the hurt that I bear From having your impression stamped in my soul, As if you have been here before, then taken away; Your imprint never going away. Cast contoured specifically to you; No substitute will ever quite do. Do you hear my soul whisper your name? Why won't you come to me? Do you feel it the same?
When I was a child our yards used to run Together, mine into Yours..into Hers..into His...into Their yard. Now a grown-up I see That the world has changed; Fenced off from each other, From ourselves. Life was so much simpler when I was a child, And there were no fences in my way.