Submissions by paperstains
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
To My First Love, In Memoriam
I've tried to write this
three times
and I hated every one
for feeling clumsy
and try-hard bittersweet
So unworthy of who you
are to me
You helped me find pieces of myself
that I hadn't lost
I just didn't think they existed
and I learned that I could be loved
by someone who didn't have to
It was terrifying
beautiful
and eventually overwhelmed
because “our future” was a concept
I wasn't prepared for
So I ran
Though, not far
just enough distance for...
three times
and I hated every one
for feeling clumsy
and try-hard bittersweet
So unworthy of who you
are to me
You helped me find pieces of myself
that I hadn't lost
I just didn't think they existed
and I learned that I could be loved
by someone who didn't have to
It was terrifying
beautiful
and eventually overwhelmed
because “our future” was a concept
I wasn't prepared for
So I ran
Though, not far
just enough distance for...
#love
#grief
#friendship #FirstLove
#friendship #FirstLove
374 reads
9 Comments
Epistle for a Water Sign
I left you my pain on a page
then walked away
to plant tomatoes
hoping to beat the rain
Alone, I sat with hands in the soil
a growing wind
and time to think
about things like fighting for something
that can't be won
only given freely
and the futility of amethysts
attempting to shine like diamonds
Closer to the end
than the beginning
the water began to fall
first in cold drops on warm skin
then pelts that began to chill
while I...
then walked away
to plant tomatoes
hoping to beat the rain
Alone, I sat with hands in the soil
a growing wind
and time to think
about things like fighting for something
that can't be won
only given freely
and the futility of amethysts
attempting to shine like diamonds
Closer to the end
than the beginning
the water began to fall
first in cold drops on warm skin
then pelts that began to chill
while I...
#love
#friendship
#acceptance
378 reads
8 Comments
No Sex with the Ex
Can't fuck you
just for fun
but I want to
sometimes
pretend history
and nuisance things
like feelings
wouldn't muck it all up
mushroom cloud
the present version of us
keeping the most open secret
that the want has never gone
I've lubricated with tears
from the pain
it took to get from there to here
So, while we play friends
in semi-polite conversations
I'm still thinking about biting
your inner thigh
promises of paybacks
me pinned at the...
just for fun
but I want to
sometimes
pretend history
and nuisance things
like feelings
wouldn't muck it all up
mushroom cloud
the present version of us
keeping the most open secret
that the want has never gone
I've lubricated with tears
from the pain
it took to get from there to here
So, while we play friends
in semi-polite conversations
I'm still thinking about biting
your inner thigh
promises of paybacks
me pinned at the...
#love
#lust
#sex
#friendship
#porn
650 reads
7 Comments
One Ragged Exhalation at a Time
Last night I displeasured myself
for hours
until every tender part of me
was numb
or bruised, sore
the bedding more fluids
than cotton fibers
my fingertips wrinkled
from their extended bath
your name sputtering
harsh from my lips
a curse
for hours
until every tender part of me
was numb
or bruised, sore
the bedding more fluids
than cotton fibers
my fingertips wrinkled
from their extended bath
your name sputtering
harsh from my lips
a curse
#anger
#dark
249 reads
2 Comments
Cue the Orchestra
From shadows
concealed in curtains of time
and distance
I can only watch as the dance
begins and bursts into motion
unfolding an old story
of something more than lust
because the need, the want
is bigger than that
In fluid nod to noir
she begs for death
little deaths at a time
by dozens of small cuts
desperate desire to feel the blade
pierce parts of her
that need a fix
an addict in relapse
sober lacks drama
and drama is too much to resist ...
concealed in curtains of time
and distance
I can only watch as the dance
begins and bursts into motion
unfolding an old story
of something more than lust
because the need, the want
is bigger than that
In fluid nod to noir
she begs for death
little deaths at a time
by dozens of small cuts
desperate desire to feel the blade
pierce parts of her
that need a fix
an addict in relapse
sober lacks drama
and drama is too much to resist ...
#lust
#fall
#obsession
531 reads
10 Comments
The Weight Tied to My Waist
Never wanted to be choked
but I gave myself up
to your hand on my throat
just yours
After I dismantled my dignity
sheared off my shame
presented you
with tender new skin
to torment at your will
Pleasure measured in increments of pain
even gentle touch burns
against such raw exposure
salved only by lies I sold myself
as rivers flowed down my thighs
for you to splash in
Restraints on my wrists proved stronger
than the ties between us
and I'm bound now
to the weight of my...
but I gave myself up
to your hand on my throat
just yours
After I dismantled my dignity
sheared off my shame
presented you
with tender new skin
to torment at your will
Pleasure measured in increments of pain
even gentle touch burns
against such raw exposure
salved only by lies I sold myself
as rivers flowed down my thighs
for you to splash in
Restraints on my wrists proved stronger
than the ties between us
and I'm bound now
to the weight of my...
#lust
#lies
#betrayal
367 reads
8 Comments
Swallowing Fractions to Fill the Hole
The guy with the guitar reminds me of you
not his face
the sound of his voice
he can't have your touch
but I like the way his fingers move
when he plays
It's how he sings his stories
candid straight shots of tequila
with the shielded openness
you wield so well
Felt a twinge of guilt when I give him my number
acutely aware of the false familiarity
in shared glances while he sang
the flirtatious ease chatting between sets
...
not his face
the sound of his voice
he can't have your touch
but I like the way his fingers move
when he plays
It's how he sings his stories
candid straight shots of tequila
with the shielded openness
you wield so well
Felt a twinge of guilt when I give him my number
acutely aware of the false familiarity
in shared glances while he sang
the flirtatious ease chatting between sets
...
#conflict
#separation
455 reads
6 Comments
Satisfaction Guaranteed
I have no patience
for detailed fantasies
or lighting candles
to romance myself
All I need is a few minutes
to recall the thickness of your voice
while you stand behind me
and the sound of your zipper
for detailed fantasies
or lighting candles
to romance myself
All I need is a few minutes
to recall the thickness of your voice
while you stand behind me
and the sound of your zipper
#sex
618 reads
19 Comments
Last Dance is Always Yours
I'm in the corner
watching you kiss her
and I can taste the whiskey
on your lips
feel the insistence of your tongue
Drawn closer, slowly navigate
the dark perimeter of the bar
see how she presses
her breasts against your chest
too far, too many shadows
but I know her nipples are hard
like mine
Broken from my trance
by a voice luring me
to the dance floor
Knock back the rest of my drink
let him take me
where the bass begs
the thrust and sway of my hips
and there's...
watching you kiss her
and I can taste the whiskey
on your lips
feel the insistence of your tongue
Drawn closer, slowly navigate
the dark perimeter of the bar
see how she presses
her breasts against your chest
too far, too many shadows
but I know her nipples are hard
like mine
Broken from my trance
by a voice luring me
to the dance floor
Knock back the rest of my drink
let him take me
where the bass begs
the thrust and sway of my hips
and there's...
#lust
#sex
#erotic #dance
#erotic #dance
697 reads
9 Comments
Whisper to a Roar
The timbre of your voice
meant only for me
stills me, breathless
coaxes me to writhe
rise up to meet you
melts my inhibitions
into rivulets that quench your thirst
as you feed my hunger
until we distill to nothing
but animal senses
chasing the need
to devour each other
meant only for me
stills me, breathless
coaxes me to writhe
rise up to meet you
melts my inhibitions
into rivulets that quench your thirst
as you feed my hunger
until we distill to nothing
but animal senses
chasing the need
to devour each other
#lust
#erotic
#lover
470 reads
11 Comments
Uncharted Reverie
Lying awake, I long
to map your topography
trace each hill and valley
commit your textures
to sense memories
of taste and touch
explore in exquisite detail
your geography
seek those places to
awaken your landscape
draw heat from your center
discover secrets
you didn't know you were keeping
to map your topography
trace each hill and valley
commit your textures
to sense memories
of taste and touch
explore in exquisite detail
your geography
seek those places to
awaken your landscape
draw heat from your center
discover secrets
you didn't know you were keeping
#erotic
#temptation
519 reads
8 Comments
Broken Rear Views and Dirty Headlights
Driving through the night
radio up way too loud
enough to muffle sirens
and cell phone sounds
still can't drown out
what's rolling through my head
question my lack of guilt
for feelings I'm told I shouldn't have
unrestrained by boundaries
Then they play that damn song
the one you turned up for me
no longer in heavy rotation
no expectation of the memory flood
think about turning it off
but my hand doesn't move
so I sing
Everything is swimming
don't know if you even remember
why...
radio up way too loud
enough to muffle sirens
and cell phone sounds
still can't drown out
what's rolling through my head
question my lack of guilt
for feelings I'm told I shouldn't have
unrestrained by boundaries
Then they play that damn song
the one you turned up for me
no longer in heavy rotation
no expectation of the memory flood
think about turning it off
but my hand doesn't move
so I sing
Everything is swimming
don't know if you even remember
why...
#rejection
#lover
#MovingOn #escape
#MovingOn #escape
484 reads
4 Comments
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