Submissions by drinkingflux (mila throat)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
i write about my experiences to make myself feel better. hopefully it helps others feel better too.
cottonwood trees
what are my bleary eyes
glazed over by the pollen
of the cottonwood trees
and the ever-shining sun
such is june, i suppose
no one to see it through
in these bustling streets
there is not enough time
to take in the breathing
shared by all of the birds
to watch them make nests
for if i do, i will miss my bus
and i can't miss graduation
like missing the birth
of a repeating summer
i can watch bees pollinate
flowers sometime in july
but i will need to get a job
glazed over by the pollen
of the cottonwood trees
and the ever-shining sun
such is june, i suppose
no one to see it through
in these bustling streets
there is not enough time
to take in the breathing
shared by all of the birds
to watch them make nests
for if i do, i will miss my bus
and i can't miss graduation
like missing the birth
of a repeating summer
i can watch bees pollinate
flowers sometime in july
but i will need to get a job
#FeelingLost
201 reads
1 Comment
say yes to heaven
i believe it's in my destiny
to live a youthful life
with the sun shining through
the leaves of cherry trees
sweet juice pooling around
the seeds, stinging my teeth
i am not supposed to be here
for too much longer now
but i know i am alive to savor
what was given to me
such a short amount of time
but right now it's all mine
and i won't let it go
until every layer of my skin
delicately melts off my bones
and i no longer have a body
left for you to hold
to live a youthful life
with the sun shining through
the leaves of cherry trees
sweet juice pooling around
the seeds, stinging my teeth
i am not supposed to be here
for too much longer now
but i know i am alive to savor
what was given to me
such a short amount of time
but right now it's all mine
and i won't let it go
until every layer of my skin
delicately melts off my bones
and i no longer have a body
left for you to hold
#rebirth
#fate
195 reads
0 Comments
wilting wings
i hold her in my arms
till she can fall asleep
and though she isn't
there when i wake up
i can still feel her...
the presence looming
behind me but i can't
see it through the
reflection in the mirror
she caresses the holes
in my shoulder blades
where my wings were
till she can fall asleep
and though she isn't
there when i wake up
i can still feel her...
the presence looming
behind me but i can't
see it through the
reflection in the mirror
she caresses the holes
in my shoulder blades
where my wings were
#mirror
#memories
194 reads
0 Comments
illness of my heart (i saw you in my dream part 3)
it feels like... a cooling summer
breeze, sifting its hands through
the threads of my hair
to watch your childlike ambling
from a broken pinpointed memory
you, stopping so graciously
amid your lifeless pasture
where the grass had long since
been trampled to death
to let the sunset be engulfed
as you surrender, kneeling down
to rest reposefully on your knees
a fragile barrier so easily surpassed
by the warmth of your breath
regretfully relieving the chill
flowing through my blooming spine
and i forgive...
breeze, sifting its hands through
the threads of my hair
to watch your childlike ambling
from a broken pinpointed memory
you, stopping so graciously
amid your lifeless pasture
where the grass had long since
been trampled to death
to let the sunset be engulfed
as you surrender, kneeling down
to rest reposefully on your knees
a fragile barrier so easily surpassed
by the warmth of your breath
regretfully relieving the chill
flowing through my blooming spine
and i forgive...
#father
#forgiveness
#TimeHeals
#MovingOn
#acceptance
223 reads
0 Comments
how to stop dog aggression (i saw you in my dream pt 1)
receding swollen gums
bare your ugly dog teeth
sharpened and glistening
and oh, so ready
bearing resemblance to
whipping of thin thistle
eager and yearning
restless urge to gnaw
someone please save me...
needles embed into my skin
it's something; not enough
in my bed of dog hair
he looks down
he still looks down on me
caging me in; restless lover
crying out, curling up
giving in so tenderly to him
looking down to show his smile
crumpled up in darkened dirt
caressing my hair,...
bare your ugly dog teeth
sharpened and glistening
and oh, so ready
bearing resemblance to
whipping of thin thistle
eager and yearning
restless urge to gnaw
someone please save me...
needles embed into my skin
it's something; not enough
in my bed of dog hair
he looks down
he still looks down on me
caging me in; restless lover
crying out, curling up
giving in so tenderly to him
looking down to show his smile
crumpled up in darkened dirt
caressing my hair,...
#father
#secrets
#abuse
#PTSD
#fear
267 reads
2 Comments
begin again
in the shadow of who I was
there are flowers growing
and with every meticulous step
they wilt, and wilt and wilt
no seeds to follow the dry petals
that softly fall, the same softness
of how I grasp the dirt
i regret the way I watch each
grown seed die
i regret the way I keep walking
i regret the way I regret
and how that regret swallows me
The remnants of what has died
will float away with time
away, and away and away
until all that is left is the wind
and then I will be...
there are flowers growing
and with every meticulous step
they wilt, and wilt and wilt
no seeds to follow the dry petals
that softly fall, the same softness
of how I grasp the dirt
i regret the way I watch each
grown seed die
i regret the way I keep walking
i regret the way I regret
and how that regret swallows me
The remnants of what has died
will float away with time
away, and away and away
until all that is left is the wind
and then I will be...
#hope
#MovingOn
#healing
247 reads
4 Comments
womb eater
a disease eating the womb
itching in your blood
crawling into the cracks
of your broken reflection
motherhood is craving
wrapping bandages against
a nonexistent wound
telling yourself it's okay
i'll be your pretty girl
that is something i can be
all that i am good for
my body will kill me soon
wilted ovaries, i can't
carry on this bloodline
i would never willingly
give someone this skin
i can't be a mother
itching in your blood
crawling into the cracks
of your broken reflection
motherhood is craving
wrapping bandages against
a nonexistent wound
telling yourself it's okay
i'll be your pretty girl
that is something i can be
all that i am good for
my body will kill me soon
wilted ovaries, i can't
carry on this bloodline
i would never willingly
give someone this skin
i can't be a mother
#motherhood
#transgender
#GenderDysphoria
318 reads
3 Comments
[WIP]
the pulp of an orange
twisting like a labyrinthine
tear my carpels apart
consume my pericarp
tenuous chiffon, unveil me
rip me from my seams
pick out the loose threads
something you'll never mend
.
.
.
.
.
.
(when i first got together with
my partner, it was hard for me
i was unused to feeling
the rawness and reality of love.
so quickly i became obsessed
with that idea and i felt afraid.
i didn't want him to leave me
and the only type of love...
twisting like a labyrinthine
tear my carpels apart
consume my pericarp
tenuous chiffon, unveil me
rip me from my seams
pick out the loose threads
something you'll never mend
.
.
.
.
.
.
(when i first got together with
my partner, it was hard for me
i was unused to feeling
the rawness and reality of love.
so quickly i became obsessed
with that idea and i felt afraid.
i didn't want him to leave me
and the only type of love...
#patience
#FirstLove
#sacrifice #obsession
#sacrifice #obsession
267 reads
0 Comments
anemia
separate the skin
i'll let you bleed
baying from the inside
yearn to cough
yearn for silence
snivel and wither
inhale the smoke
let it all rot
molding fruit
dig my thumbs in
i'll throw you away
when i'm done
i'll let you bleed
baying from the inside
yearn to cough
yearn for silence
snivel and wither
inhale the smoke
let it all rot
molding fruit
dig my thumbs in
i'll throw you away
when i'm done
#SelfHarm
#addiction
#EatingDisorder
384 reads
2 Comments
i saw you in my dream
i saw you in a dream one night
i asked you if it was really you
you said you were also asleep
and when you woke you would forget
that we had seen each other
i sat beside you in the meadow
looking into your face as you
stared off into the horizon
as the clouds passed by; the sun was setting
contemplative, yet vacant; despondent
taking me back to when you would hold me
your grasp and your body were so warm
your eyes looking into me so coldly
empty smile not quite reaching your eyes
no tension in apprehensions or...
i asked you if it was really you
you said you were also asleep
and when you woke you would forget
that we had seen each other
i sat beside you in the meadow
looking into your face as you
stared off into the horizon
as the clouds passed by; the sun was setting
contemplative, yet vacant; despondent
taking me back to when you would hold me
your grasp and your body were so warm
your eyes looking into me so coldly
empty smile not quite reaching your eyes
no tension in apprehensions or...
#father
#nightmares
#StreamOfConsciousness
292 reads
3 Comments
goodnight, my monocot
i'll ease my heart into your palms
and though i expect nothing
i still long for you
yet, somehow, i do not know
what i yearn for
please swallow me
consume my naivety so it is no more
until it nettles you no longer
or perhaps until you are simply
not hungry anymore
but i feed a monocot
and all i may do is let it grow into me
i'll guide you to your resting place
after you grow tired from the sugar
goodnight, my monocot
and though i expect nothing
i still long for you
yet, somehow, i do not know
what i yearn for
please swallow me
consume my naivety so it is no more
until it nettles you no longer
or perhaps until you are simply
not hungry anymore
but i feed a monocot
and all i may do is let it grow into me
i'll guide you to your resting place
after you grow tired from the sugar
goodnight, my monocot
#loneliness
#father
#vulnerability
307 reads
4 Comments
i call my childhood my home
i lay alone in my closet
hiding in baby blankets
to imitate what i miss
but cannot remember
something that feels a lot like
getting stung in the palm by a bee
stomping so my shoes light up
now, carbon monoxide spreads
i live in a collapsing home
where my voice no longer echos
glassless windows; no doors
even the rat infestation is gone
voices still whispering to me
keep quiet; keep good secrets
what is still keeping me here
something holding me back
sleeping inside my...
hiding in baby blankets
to imitate what i miss
but cannot remember
something that feels a lot like
getting stung in the palm by a bee
stomping so my shoes light up
now, carbon monoxide spreads
i live in a collapsing home
where my voice no longer echos
glassless windows; no doors
even the rat infestation is gone
voices still whispering to me
keep quiet; keep good secrets
what is still keeping me here
something holding me back
sleeping inside my...
#PTSD
#nostalgia
#childhood
224 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by drinkingflux (mila throat)