the thing with intelligence is you hold power you pay the price for you can see the depth you see what goes wrong and the beauty of what seems ugly at first you know how to heal yourself and intellectualize it and you feel the downside: self-destruction on the highest of levels and fear that the power you hold can’t be controlled with the force it needs you fear to hurt other people and end up hurting yourself anyways
- please don’t isolate yourself because of this fear
when i look in the mirror i start to see someone beautiful someone who knows her worth and what makes her unique the way my nose wrinkles when i laugh and my eyes tear up when i read poetry the way i love people and my downward smile. but what i came across is: i want to be recognized as the things i relate to, the intelligence and views on interesting topics. universal beauty is a privilege, yet so shallow what really counts within me is what remains knowledge is what i am, what i consume it makes me stronger ...
what if - in a parallel universe, against all odds - you came across one of those poems written while obsessing over you. how would you feel? would you be terrified? or moved? would you think of me? or has your memory of me been deleted like my number on your new phone? you’re so near, yet so far and i wonder what if i show you, and everything would change? what if i show you, and we’d be ready?
text her“, they say. “whatever you do, don’t text her“, they say. what i do will be so wrong, but oh so right in every goddamn way overanalyzing my behavior, my feelings ending up looking desperate like a sunflower when i‘m not orbiting around you without your light i wilt but i was so terrified of belonging of labeling it, of security i shouldn’t drag you in this misery that is my head, my whole before i’m healed but is it too late then? will that be enough? before that, i’ll starve of your light,...
i did all i needed to do empty to do list i sense happiness but it’s not for me, i don’t deserve it what i deserve are slits on my wrist and anything but you too big your heart too sweet your soul for a person as dirty as me
lying in my bed, the right way, the way you like, but you’re missing. my arms so empty, cold. want to play with your hair kiss your cheeks good night listen to you playing piano over and over again, smiling and you’re in your own universe, drifting far away, away from me, but at the same time you’re closer than ever. now, we’re in different spheres, different worlds, but still, we sleep under the same stars. the stars we were meant to look at on warm summer nights in the middle of june. the stars we...
we’re sitting in the same building under the same roof me sitting near one pillar of the room you sitting near the other one my eyes search for yours my looks drift away from my friends to you wondering hoping if you feel the same if you watch me the way i watch you always but when i look up there you are sitting beside me not because of me but near me in my universe the one you used to be a part of i‘m star-struck
i want to send words your way, scroll through the pages, but nothing captured what i wanted to say. i adored you for as long as i know you wasn’t prepared for how bad it would hurt, i‘m feeling blue for you, i’d do anything, but nothing now, don’t want to be a burden to a soul like yours, so i remain in flames, burning.
all i can do is love you on paper in silence, from a distance, whenever your soul is calling there’s no resistance, i can’t escape her.
will you come back so our souls can intertwine? by now,...
i can’t unlearn her lips nor my trembling hands on her hips, the look in her eyes is drowning out our quiet sighs. her fingers draw a line while her soft gaze locks onto mine until she shuts the door to her loving soul, aching for more.
as i open my eyes again, sweat on my skin, alarm rings next to my ear i knew, while tears flood down my face like rain: when are you going to stop thinking of her?
i won’t. i can’t. i don’t want to forget my soft, loving girl. i‘ve never seen a soul like hers.
i feel intimidated by you. by your intelligence, power, looks, knowledge, wisdom. sometimes, i’m oh so afraid but it’s not you that i‘m afraid of - it’s the fear of being rejected, standing in your shadow, being laughed at, or even being judged.
but why do i think you’ll do that when all you did was trying to help me while no one else cared.