Looking for a reason why I should stay; No one truly cares I've seen for 22 years I know I'm not alright I'm looking for the kill Numb to all this pain I took all the pills; Body twitching why would they want to save me All my life it was darkness Anakin; The cycle continues.
All my life I've been chasing I wrote cards I'll never send The girl I fell in love with; Just tied the knots... Can't be happy, but I'm happy for her.; I tried until the end but Everyone leaves in the end. Drowning in the whiskey Wishing I was dead... Can't be happy; but I'm happy for her.. I cared when no one else did So you went and broke down the bridge. I spend my final days by my lonely I don't know love; she's a stranger to me.
I long for contact I'm tired of feeling alone I'm tired of reaching for death When he doesn't want to claim my own.. I know I'm loved. I know.. I know. I put the noose round my neck broad daylight Wear it as a chain so I can be alright Quick thinking so I can be alright All these negatives from pandora's box, There is no hope
She wants to see me die alone Reassure me with empty words, Break my heart yet again. Chasing white lies there she go Reassured with empty words, Break her heart yet again.. What's it like to be loved? Inside a world filled with distrust Do I have what it takes to keep on going. Seven years have gone down the drain. Put me out my misery, so it no longer rains She wants to see me die alone Reassure me with empty words. I picked my poison oh yes I have, Waiting to die down this lonesome path, I picked my poison oh yes I...
Who do I go to when death is behind me Riding my tailgate waiting for I to lose control For whom do the bells toll when I still have a life to live. Time waits for none, but its frozen as I make this painful decision...
And who do I go to when no one's there I can't see it's dark inside of here, Internally conflicted inside this head here, Everyone wants to ride me dry When truthfully I just want to die, I miss my grandpa it should've been me They talk just to comfort but Nobody truly cares for me. Happiness and white lies I see death with open arms Embrace him while I'm staring at the stars.
I think I'm leaving soon No one to talk to Drinking down this pain Keeping myself in sane I'll touch the flame I'm ok, lying to my brain. Going downstream I'm living the dream Since I was nineteen Every day's the same routine I don't need a theme, I'm living in sorrow What will be of tomorrow On time that I borrow Everything I feel is hollow. I think I'm leaving soon No one to talk to Will I see my own tomb Will I feel my own doom.
Everything's numb I don't know what's real You were everything to me what's the deal, Sold the broken pieces of my heart To buy a needle to sow it back together Nothing's the same, I stay in my ways The void in my heart, tears me apart. Take me back two thousand and nine So I won't suffer as I am this time And I hate being alone in my sorrow Everything to talk about but the feelings hollow. Everything's numb I don't know what's real Everything's numb I don't know what's real I wonder if I can heal I wonder if I can heal.
To love unconditionally I often struggle loving myself Yet alone another person On my way to 22 and I'm unsure Of everything I've lived through. The pain never ends, I'm numb Whether the candle burns fast Or slow eventually I'll learn to Forgive; forget. Love myself. Love now, cry later. Xoxo.
I look in the mirror and See a broken smile Needle in my skin to make it worthwhile All this for a lost cause; I'm a lost cause I used to want you as mine Ten years chasing after a lost cause I wish I could've not wasted time All after a worthless dime 7,880 days have passed For a lost cause yeah I'm a lost cause.
Offense or defense Passive or violent I'll cut my wrists til My heartbeat is silent" Pure or corrupt My soul will rot I don't want to die like this Everything to tell you But I'm always silent You are my queen Until I'm no longer seen.
And I've always wondered If I loved myself enough To make it past the finish line; Diminished of hope, eaten alive Filled with regrets. Do I search for happiness or Rest eternally corrupt..?