Submissions by Order_in_Chaos (Sean Paul Gillum)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I have been writing poetry for about 14 years now. It is mostly sorrowful but can be somewhat cheery or dreary at times. I find it easier to write my feelings than talk about them.
SELF POEM
Published
30th Mar 2020 4:40am
30th Mar 2020 4:40am
Spectre
Can you see me?
What do I look like?
Can you hear me?
What do I sound like?
Can you touch me?
What do I feel like?
Can you smell me?
What is my scent like?
Am I real to you
Or just a ghost?
Am I just being ignored?
I'm feeling so invisible
Am I going insane?
Please tell me I'm okay
Am I even still alive?
I am so dead inside
3/29/2020
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
What do I look like?
Can you hear me?
What do I sound like?
Can you touch me?
What do I feel like?
Can you smell me?
What is my scent like?
Am I real to you
Or just a ghost?
Am I just being ignored?
I'm feeling so invisible
Am I going insane?
Please tell me I'm okay
Am I even still alive?
I am so dead inside
3/29/2020
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
#anxiety
#depression
#loneliness
252 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th Mar 2020 1:25am
25th Mar 2020 1:25am
Isolated
Why do I feel so damn alone?
No one here to hear my cries
Why am I the one they disown?
The only person they despise
I feel so rejected
Out of touch
Neglected
Kick me while I'm down
Push me around
Am I just a clown?
Try to smile only to frown
Depression tears me up inside
It's eating me alive
When will I die?
11/3/18
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
No one here to hear my cries
Why am I the one they disown?
The only person they despise
I feel so rejected
Out of touch
Neglected
Kick me while I'm down
Push me around
Am I just a clown?
Try to smile only to frown
Depression tears me up inside
It's eating me alive
When will I die?
11/3/18
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
#loneliness
308 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th Mar 2020 1:22am
25th Mar 2020 1:22am
Fly
Sometimes I wish I could fly
Fly away from all this shit
Away from the unforgiving pain
Away from all I want to forget
It gets unbearable
Unbelievable
Unrelenting
The pressure quickly builds up inside
It makes me question if I'm truly alive
Is there even a will to survive?
So many times I've tried
Too many times I've lied
No more pain
It's driving me insane
Don't want to stay
I want to fly away
7/27/18
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
Fly away from all this shit
Away from the unforgiving pain
Away from all I want to forget
It gets unbearable
Unbelievable
Unrelenting
The pressure quickly builds up inside
It makes me question if I'm truly alive
Is there even a will to survive?
So many times I've tried
Too many times I've lied
No more pain
It's driving me insane
Don't want to stay
I want to fly away
7/27/18
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
#sadness
#regret
#loneliness
#rejection
#shame
380 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Mar 2020 1:05am
23rd Mar 2020 1:05am
Chaotic Damnation
My mind feels so paralyzed at times
I desperately need to shake the cobwebs
Too many thoughts running through this head of mine
Sometimes I feel like I need a goddamn exorcism
Am I forced to be forever damned?
How fucked am I?
Swimming in this shit called life
Sick of feeling defeated, beaten down and misguided
I'm getting ready to explode, break down and rebuild
This is such a painful curse
Where do I stand in your God's eyes?
Am I in his good graces or damned to hell?
Do I even care?
3/5/2020
(c) Sean Paul...
I desperately need to shake the cobwebs
Too many thoughts running through this head of mine
Sometimes I feel like I need a goddamn exorcism
Am I forced to be forever damned?
How fucked am I?
Swimming in this shit called life
Sick of feeling defeated, beaten down and misguided
I'm getting ready to explode, break down and rebuild
This is such a painful curse
Where do I stand in your God's eyes?
Am I in his good graces or damned to hell?
Do I even care?
3/5/2020
(c) Sean Paul...
#FeelingLost
#apathy
324 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Mar 2020 1:04am
23rd Mar 2020 1:04am
Crazy is a State of Mind
Crazy is a state of mind
The state of mine
That you will find
The secrets I unwittingly confide
With the demons lurking inside
I try to seek when they hide
By my rules they must abide
We like to converse
About the curse
Plagued upon me
This life I live
Can get self-abusive
I'm the one I abhor
This cold life
The bitter strife
I'm the one I hate
Life can be hard
I was born scarred
I am the black sheep
Woe is me
Pity me
I am the outsider
Full of disarray
I have gone astray
I...
The state of mine
That you will find
The secrets I unwittingly confide
With the demons lurking inside
I try to seek when they hide
By my rules they must abide
We like to converse
About the curse
Plagued upon me
This life I live
Can get self-abusive
I'm the one I abhor
This cold life
The bitter strife
I'm the one I hate
Life can be hard
I was born scarred
I am the black sheep
Woe is me
Pity me
I am the outsider
Full of disarray
I have gone astray
I...
#anxiety
#grief
#disappointment
296 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Mar 2020 2:23am
21st Mar 2020 2:23am
Battling My Demons
Been battling with my demons
Knowing that I will never win
Inside I'm screaming
Maybe I'm dreaming?
Madness will soon take control
Losing my mind and my soul
Lost my faith, got nothing else
Someone save me from this hell
Is anybody out there?
Wish somebody would care
This is a cry for help
Should I just kill myself?
Depression is such a nagging bitch
Just a constant unreachable itch
Turning this man into a maniac
This panic into a panic attack
Gun to my head
Just left for dead
Noose around my neck ...
Knowing that I will never win
Inside I'm screaming
Maybe I'm dreaming?
Madness will soon take control
Losing my mind and my soul
Lost my faith, got nothing else
Someone save me from this hell
Is anybody out there?
Wish somebody would care
This is a cry for help
Should I just kill myself?
Depression is such a nagging bitch
Just a constant unreachable itch
Turning this man into a maniac
This panic into a panic attack
Gun to my head
Just left for dead
Noose around my neck ...
#emotional
306 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
21st Mar 2020 2:21am
21st Mar 2020 2:21am
Time's Up
Death is near,
I can feel its embrace
It's getting closer,
Looming in the wake
Darkness surrounds me,
Like a velvet-lined coffin
Time stands still,
The hourglass is broken
3/5/2020
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
I can feel its embrace
It's getting closer,
Looming in the wake
Darkness surrounds me,
Like a velvet-lined coffin
Time stands still,
The hourglass is broken
3/5/2020
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
#dark
#death
298 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th Mar 2020 8:27pm
19th Mar 2020 8:27pm
Prisoner of the Psyche
Confined in my own mind
Imprisoned and abandoned
Voices offering difficult choices
Insanity will be the death of me
Hopeless and helpless
Hated and frustrated
Trapped, unable to adapt
Lost, at what cost?
Scared, always unprepared
Wounded, feeling defeated
Isolated
How long must I feel hated?
Scorned
When I die will I even be mourned?
I'm stuck
Always feeling like a prisoner
No pulse
Just waiting for the coroner
Anonymous
Not feeling like a commoner
Damned
Judge, jury and executioner
...
Imprisoned and abandoned
Voices offering difficult choices
Insanity will be the death of me
Hopeless and helpless
Hated and frustrated
Trapped, unable to adapt
Lost, at what cost?
Scared, always unprepared
Wounded, feeling defeated
Isolated
How long must I feel hated?
Scorned
When I die will I even be mourned?
I'm stuck
Always feeling like a prisoner
No pulse
Just waiting for the coroner
Anonymous
Not feeling like a commoner
Damned
Judge, jury and executioner
...
#sadness
#confusion
#despair
311 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th Mar 2020 8:27pm
19th Mar 2020 8:27pm
Clusterf**k
Can't seem to get my head on straight
Want to feel better before it's too late
Too many thoughts run in my head
I'm always so full of dread
Sometimes I find it hard to even think
Don't know if I need sleep or another drink
How much longer until I finally break?
I don't know how much more I can take
One of these days I will just snap
Finally get fed up with all this crap
Feel like I keep hitting my head against a wall
Harder and harder, waiting for it to fall
I think it's going to be to no prevail
Train of sanity going to derail ...
Want to feel better before it's too late
Too many thoughts run in my head
I'm always so full of dread
Sometimes I find it hard to even think
Don't know if I need sleep or another drink
How much longer until I finally break?
I don't know how much more I can take
One of these days I will just snap
Finally get fed up with all this crap
Feel like I keep hitting my head against a wall
Harder and harder, waiting for it to fall
I think it's going to be to no prevail
Train of sanity going to derail ...
#shame
#confusion
#despair
315 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
18th Mar 2020 9:05pm
18th Mar 2020 9:05pm
Tiptoeing Along the Brink of Insanity
Drifting through my subconscious
My darkest thoughts start to surface
Have I really lost it all?
Did I ever have it in the first place?
Am I insane or just misunderstood?
Trapped in my own unhinged mind
Is sanity something I will ever find?
11/21/19
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
My darkest thoughts start to surface
Have I really lost it all?
Did I ever have it in the first place?
Am I insane or just misunderstood?
Trapped in my own unhinged mind
Is sanity something I will ever find?
11/21/19
(c) Sean Paul Gillum
#silence
#suffering
312 reads
3 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
18th Mar 2020 8:56pm
18th Mar 2020 8:56pm
Witch Hunt III
Untie this rope
I'm full of hope
Please break this chain
It's causing me pain
I'm innocent
I'm Heaven-sent
Look me in my eyes
Ssurvived will all realize
I am not a witch
You stupid son-of-a-bitch!
You are all damned!
Do you even know who I am?!
I am the devil incarnate
Full of nothing but hate
You cannot burn me alive
I will always survive
Meet me deep in the pits of Hell!
Give me your soul to sell!
You are now all my slaves
Everyone is as good as dead
Submit to me, I am your God now!
No...
I'm full of hope
Please break this chain
It's causing me pain
I'm innocent
I'm Heaven-sent
Look me in my eyes
Ssurvived will all realize
I am not a witch
You stupid son-of-a-bitch!
You are all damned!
Do you even know who I am?!
I am the devil incarnate
Full of nothing but hate
You cannot burn me alive
I will always survive
Meet me deep in the pits of Hell!
Give me your soul to sell!
You are now all my slaves
Everyone is as good as dead
Submit to me, I am your God now!
No...
#witches
303 reads
0 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
15th Mar 2020 2:16am
15th Mar 2020 2:16am
Witch Hunt II
Burn her at the stake
She is full of hate
Living in a wicked world
She is a very guilty girl
This vixen of voodoo must pay
No time to repent,
No time to pray
Today shall be her last day
She is pure evil
Full of nothing but sin
She is the devil
Let the witch hunt begin
There are more like her
More witches we must send back to Hell
Beware of their black magic,
Careful of their deadly spell
These hellions must pay for their crimes
This will be the best witch hunt of all times
Burn them alive,
Make them...
She is full of hate
Living in a wicked world
She is a very guilty girl
This vixen of voodoo must pay
No time to repent,
No time to pray
Today shall be her last day
She is pure evil
Full of nothing but sin
She is the devil
Let the witch hunt begin
There are more like her
More witches we must send back to Hell
Beware of their black magic,
Careful of their deadly spell
These hellions must pay for their crimes
This will be the best witch hunt of all times
Burn them alive,
Make them...
#witches
327 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Order_in_Chaos (Sean Paul Gillum)
