Submissions by Nizana (Lauryn)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
My mother wrote poems when she was younger, mostly about love. Later she returned to poetry to express thoughts and desires that she'd squelched over time. She passed the torch to me (her daughter) when she entered treatment.
A Doll's Wish
The empty of my life found a
fullness in the mystery of a boy's touch.
While helping me with math, I noticed Jason
smiling at the doll on my bed.
I’d slept with Julie as a child and my favorite doll
still acted as the sentinel of my bedroom
sixteen years after my birth.
When math was done, the same lips
that had kissed Julie so many nights
found Jason’s lips warm with life.
I smiled as Julie looked on, wondering if
dolls have dreams for those who love them.
Moments later,...
fullness in the mystery of a boy's touch.
While helping me with math, I noticed Jason
smiling at the doll on my bed.
I’d slept with Julie as a child and my favorite doll
still acted as the sentinel of my bedroom
sixteen years after my birth.
When math was done, the same lips
that had kissed Julie so many nights
found Jason’s lips warm with life.
I smiled as Julie looked on, wondering if
dolls have dreams for those who love them.
Moments later,...
#sex
#teens
203 reads
11 Comments
Parts of the Whole - journal entry for new love
I've found someone truly special. It's a mystery to me, how a man could love me with such depth and sincerity, healing my loss. I suppose we’re all part of Creations grand design—his body, my body, every part of us fits into the whole.
The spark of lust that ignites flames of passion must be given by the divine. It's as if the mystery of the Universe orchestrated our coming together, creating something sweet and full of wonder.
I'm grateful for the love that comes into my life and for the man who has become my partner in this journey. It's a testament to the beauty that...
The spark of lust that ignites flames of passion must be given by the divine. It's as if the mystery of the Universe orchestrated our coming together, creating something sweet and full of wonder.
I'm grateful for the love that comes into my life and for the man who has become my partner in this journey. It's a testament to the beauty that...
#love
#lust
#spiritual
233 reads
6 Comments
Moving on After an Abortion - diary entry
I had an abortion. The words don’t seem real but it is done.
I was weak, seeking affection in the arms of those who offered warmth without permanence. In the heat of those moments, precautions were an afterthought, and I was left with a consequence that was mine alone to bear.
A man found refuge in my warmth and left behind a life he’d never know. And I, in a clinic room with a kind nurse whose eyes held sadness, made a choice.
The procedure, a vacuum aspiration, was over in minutes. The nurse said my body would recover quickly, and it did. My womb is empty...
I was weak, seeking affection in the arms of those who offered warmth without permanence. In the heat of those moments, precautions were an afterthought, and I was left with a consequence that was mine alone to bear.
A man found refuge in my warmth and left behind a life he’d never know. And I, in a clinic room with a kind nurse whose eyes held sadness, made a choice.
The procedure, a vacuum aspiration, was over in minutes. The nurse said my body would recover quickly, and it did. My womb is empty...
#death
#LifeStruggles
#sex
156 reads
7 Comments
Last Dance
Life’s taught me plenty. I've danced through years with laughter and tears and loved a lot. Men have come and gone, like seasons, each one leaving a mark, a memory, or taking a piece of my heart. But now I’m staring down the end of my road. The doctor's words hit hard. “It’s terminal," he said. “Soon, you’ll grow weak as the cancer grows and you’ll lose control of your body. We can keep you comfortable but you only have weeks left.”
I cried. Fear gripped me. I knew there wasn’t anything after this this life, just a void. I used to believe in heaven but that fell away long...
I cried. Fear gripped me. I knew there wasn’t anything after this this life, just a void. I used to believe in heaven but that fell away long...
#death
#love
217 reads
4 Comments
Prom Night Orgasm
Vivian spent hours on hair, makeup, and dressing for the prom. Her mother said, "That dress is too sexy," but Vivian persisted. Her mother thought, The boy is nice, and my girl has a good reputation.
How could her mother know that the prom would lead to a private house party and an available bedroom. When the clock chimed eleven, she thought back to her younger years and mistakes she’d made. I shouldn't have let her wear that dress, she thought.
At that very moment, Vivian’s body arched involuntarily as her first ever orgasm shot through her naïve...
How could her mother know that the prom would lead to a private house party and an available bedroom. When the clock chimed eleven, she thought back to her younger years and mistakes she’d made. I shouldn't have let her wear that dress, she thought.
At that very moment, Vivian’s body arched involuntarily as her first ever orgasm shot through her naïve...
#sex
#teens
270 reads
4 Comments
Flames Against the Coming Dark
She looked down to their joining where he ended and she began.
His eyes watered at her kindness, this vessel of beauty
Spilling open without reservation or plea.
And so, he pressed into her heat, eyes wide with knowing,
That this dance of two hearts thrilled by their joining
Would one day fall silent, yielding to the passing of time.
These fleeting caresses and whispered prayers
Would dissolve into the ether of forgetting,
As both suffer the finality of earth's embrace.
Yet, how luminous they were that night!
How...
His eyes watered at her kindness, this vessel of beauty
Spilling open without reservation or plea.
And so, he pressed into her heat, eyes wide with knowing,
That this dance of two hearts thrilled by their joining
Would one day fall silent, yielding to the passing of time.
These fleeting caresses and whispered prayers
Would dissolve into the ether of forgetting,
As both suffer the finality of earth's embrace.
Yet, how luminous they were that night!
How...
#death
#love
#sex
205 reads
1 Comment
The Women Before Me - Journal entry
October 6, 2024
My daughter is away in the care of her father. I couldn't sleep last night and started thinking about the women who’ve come before me, those whose blood courses through my veins, and whose stories are etched into my life.
Great-grandmother Norma Jean Moore, a woman of the '40s, lived through a time of profound change. Born into the echoes of the Great Depression, she was a child when the world was at war. I often wonder about her passions, hidden beneath the surface of a society that demanded so much resilience. What was it like to fall in love...
My daughter is away in the care of her father. I couldn't sleep last night and started thinking about the women who’ve come before me, those whose blood courses through my veins, and whose stories are etched into my life.
Great-grandmother Norma Jean Moore, a woman of the '40s, lived through a time of profound change. Born into the echoes of the Great Depression, she was a child when the world was at war. I often wonder about her passions, hidden beneath the surface of a society that demanded so much resilience. What was it like to fall in love...
#family
#historical
#love #SelfReflection
#love #SelfReflection
139 reads
2 Comments
Will I Be Remembered?
Dear journal
My thoughts are troubled. The clear truth is that one day, I will face the same ending that meets all humans. I cannot escape death.
Will anyone remember me when I am ash? Will there be any record of past loves in the ruins of what once was? Will the beauty of nature, the rustling leaves, the chorus of the ocean still sing to me in the darkness that awaits? And the kindness I've known, the gentle touches, the warm smiles – will they carry any weight in that land of nothingness?
These were my thoughts as I lay in my bed missing my daughter. My...
My thoughts are troubled. The clear truth is that one day, I will face the same ending that meets all humans. I cannot escape death.
Will anyone remember me when I am ash? Will there be any record of past loves in the ruins of what once was? Will the beauty of nature, the rustling leaves, the chorus of the ocean still sing to me in the darkness that awaits? And the kindness I've known, the gentle touches, the warm smiles – will they carry any weight in that land of nothingness?
These were my thoughts as I lay in my bed missing my daughter. My...
#animals
#death
#lover
162 reads
5 Comments
Necessary Parting
October 4, 2024
Yesterday was harder than I thought it would be. Handing Ava over to David and his wife felt like I was tearing a piece of my heart out and watching it walk away. For five months, she's been my constant companion, my little girl who needed me for everything — especially the comfort and nourishment of breastfeeding. It's been an intimate bond, one that I never thought I'd be able to break, even temporarily.
But after the abortion, everything feels different. The decision to go out of state for the procedure wasn't easy, but it was necessary. I keep telling...
Yesterday was harder than I thought it would be. Handing Ava over to David and his wife felt like I was tearing a piece of my heart out and watching it walk away. For five months, she's been my constant companion, my little girl who needed me for everything — especially the comfort and nourishment of breastfeeding. It's been an intimate bond, one that I never thought I'd be able to break, even temporarily.
But after the abortion, everything feels different. The decision to go out of state for the procedure wasn't easy, but it was necessary. I keep telling...
#daughter
#healing
#MentalHealth #motherhood
#MentalHealth #motherhood
161 reads
1 Comment
Burden Lifted
Journal Entry: October 1, 2024
My good friend drove me from Dallas to Albuquerque, NM, for a medical procedure that lifted a burden from my life. It went well and I was released two hours after the procedure. We stayed at a hotel for two nights, resting in the quiet comfort of our friendship.
While I was away, my daughter Ava was with her father, David, whose steady presence and new wife, who is kind and respectful, maintain balance in our lives.
I recall writing about my friend's wedding, a joyous time now shadowed by a betrayal and divorce that followed a year...
My good friend drove me from Dallas to Albuquerque, NM, for a medical procedure that lifted a burden from my life. It went well and I was released two hours after the procedure. We stayed at a hotel for two nights, resting in the quiet comfort of our friendship.
While I was away, my daughter Ava was with her father, David, whose steady presence and new wife, who is kind and respectful, maintain balance in our lives.
I recall writing about my friend's wedding, a joyous time now shadowed by a betrayal and divorce that followed a year...
#LifeStruggles
#pregnancy
139 reads
2 Comments
The Weight of Past Choices
In the quiet spaces between
My panting breaths,
I hear echoes of the child
I once was.
I cling to the body
Of a man I barely know,
Trying to fill the emptiness
Left by another.
Men visit my most private place
But never know me.
Our room is filled with the
Steady rhythm of our lust
Clapping, clapping again and again
Like the applause of one lonely.
The sounds of our flesh
Bring back the weight
Of past choices made
In the glance of an eye,
A shared smile,
Or a groping hand.
My panting breaths,
I hear echoes of the child
I once was.
I cling to the body
Of a man I barely know,
Trying to fill the emptiness
Left by another.
Men visit my most private place
But never know me.
Our room is filled with the
Steady rhythm of our lust
Clapping, clapping again and again
Like the applause of one lonely.
The sounds of our flesh
Bring back the weight
Of past choices made
In the glance of an eye,
A shared smile,
Or a groping hand.
#lust
#sex
236 reads
4 Comments
Entering the Storm - Unlikely Church #5
Jake entered Sarah’s apartment and gave Sarah a quick kiss as they laughed at their awkwardness.
Sarah stepped over to her refrigerator and said, “I need some water. Would you like a glass before we go?”
“Yes,” said Jake.
As Sarah turned, Jake noticed her soft puppy-like eyes opened wide as if focused on everything.
“Thank you,” Jake said taking the glass.
“Staying busy with school helped me cope with not seeing you for a whole week but it’s been hard,” she said feeling her face redden with a blush at her boldness.
Jake...
Sarah stepped over to her refrigerator and said, “I need some water. Would you like a glass before we go?”
“Yes,” said Jake.
As Sarah turned, Jake noticed her soft puppy-like eyes opened wide as if focused on everything.
“Thank you,” Jake said taking the glass.
“Staying busy with school helped me cope with not seeing you for a whole week but it’s been hard,” she said feeling her face redden with a blush at her boldness.
Jake...
#lust
#philosophical
#religion #sex
#religion #sex
206 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nizana (Lauryn)