Submissions by Nixprty
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write the words my tongue can’t speak, and for those who can still see clearly through the foggy windows.
A Conversation on Coping
It’s too cold to go out.
The sun is still out though?
Just because it looks nice,
Doesn’t make it feel any warmer.
Hmm.. you could just wear a sweater?
Hiding my shivering,
Doesn’t make me feel warmer.
Go somewhere indoors?
Ignoring and avoiding the weather,
Makes it harder to face when I’m forced to.
Wow, you really don’t want to go out.
The sun is still out though?
Just because it looks nice,
Doesn’t make it feel any warmer.
Hmm.. you could just wear a sweater?
Hiding my shivering,
Doesn’t make me feel warmer.
Go somewhere indoors?
Ignoring and avoiding the weather,
Makes it harder to face when I’m forced to.
Wow, you really don’t want to go out.
#healing
#MentalHealth
85 reads
0 Comments
Father and Son
My dad has never really been a serious person.
I remember during the tensest moments he’d pull his signature smile,
crooked front teeth with a chip and lopsided ever so slightly to the right,
Leading up to where his eyes wrinkled at the corners—
Even when he was a kid.
His goofy demeanor was in direct contrast to his powerful face,
A square jaw and thick dark beard,
His intense green eyes and a hooked nose that Curves to the right,
Just like mine.
Sometimes when the lighting was right he almost looked like me.
I...
I remember during the tensest moments he’d pull his signature smile,
crooked front teeth with a chip and lopsided ever so slightly to the right,
Leading up to where his eyes wrinkled at the corners—
Even when he was a kid.
His goofy demeanor was in direct contrast to his powerful face,
A square jaw and thick dark beard,
His intense green eyes and a hooked nose that Curves to the right,
Just like mine.
Sometimes when the lighting was right he almost looked like me.
I...
#aging
#LifeCycle
93 reads
1 Comment
Leading Role
The accompanying pain of a crowded room,
Knowing it isn’t crowded for you.
I want to be known,
Or mostly I just wanna know you.
Feeling lonely in a full crowd,
The unending silence and unnerving sound.
I want to feel whole,
I’ll never really feel full.
You see me from across the isle,
Your gaze lights a burning fire.
I want to get closer,
Or rather I just want to feel warmer.
Knowing it isn’t crowded for you.
I want to be known,
Or mostly I just wanna know you.
Feeling lonely in a full crowd,
The unending silence and unnerving sound.
I want to feel whole,
I’ll never really feel full.
You see me from across the isle,
Your gaze lights a burning fire.
I want to get closer,
Or rather I just want to feel warmer.
#crush
#loneliness
130 reads
1 Comment
Pyromaniac
You’ll burn up
As quick as the wind
As strong as the sun
I will watch you simmer
I will run my hand through your ashes
You were a blazing glory
I will stomp on your remains
I haven’t kindled your flame
But I will watch it burn
The cool rain on my skin
Is reserved for the burnt bodies left in your wake
As quick as the wind
As strong as the sun
I will watch you simmer
I will run my hand through your ashes
You were a blazing glory
I will stomp on your remains
I haven’t kindled your flame
But I will watch it burn
The cool rain on my skin
Is reserved for the burnt bodies left in your wake
#anger
#hurt
123 reads
0 Comments
I’ll Die Anyway
I shiver at the implications of our existence,
We are against nature.
I feel abnormally disgusted by something that makes me happier than I’ve ever been before.
I run my hands up your neck,
Softly brushing the hair beside your ear.
I ache for something to hold onto,
Something that isn’t you.
I smoke a cigarette,
The feeling brings my mind to a stop.
I taste the smoke,
I breathe it in deeply.
I know it’s deadly.
I know I’m told not to do it.
I...
We are against nature.
I feel abnormally disgusted by something that makes me happier than I’ve ever been before.
I run my hands up your neck,
Softly brushing the hair beside your ear.
I ache for something to hold onto,
Something that isn’t you.
I smoke a cigarette,
The feeling brings my mind to a stop.
I taste the smoke,
I breathe it in deeply.
I know it’s deadly.
I know I’m told not to do it.
I...
#LGBT
118 reads
2 Comments
The Stars
I watch the stars
I don’t suppose they watch me back
I wonder if the stars make sounds
Or if they burn silently
I imagine they ache
Like a fresh bruise or a healing bone
I don’t think they bleed
Perhaps they just sob
What beautiful spots of flame
Burning and aching in a fiery flash of light
They are momentary
They are temporary
They are dying
And already dead
I imagine the stars watch me back
I wonder if they wonder too
I don’t suppose they watch me back
I wonder if the stars make sounds
Or if they burn silently
I imagine they ache
Like a fresh bruise or a healing bone
I don’t think they bleed
Perhaps they just sob
What beautiful spots of flame
Burning and aching in a fiery flash of light
They are momentary
They are temporary
They are dying
And already dead
I imagine the stars watch me back
I wonder if they wonder too
#philosophical
92 reads
0 Comments
The Smell of Home
Someone once told me I smelled great.
‘What do you use?’ He asked.
I paused for a moment.
I thought of the dimly lit bathroom,
The mornings while brushing my teeth.
Gagging on the intensely artificial scent of vanilla perfume my sister would coat her entire body in.
I thought of the floral sweetness that my mother carried,
Jasmine or lavender,
A hint of faintly browned sugar.
I thought of the powerful citrus my father wore,
I often thought he smelled how he looked,
Huge and powerful,
The slightest hint...
‘What do you use?’ He asked.
I paused for a moment.
I thought of the dimly lit bathroom,
The mornings while brushing my teeth.
Gagging on the intensely artificial scent of vanilla perfume my sister would coat her entire body in.
I thought of the floral sweetness that my mother carried,
Jasmine or lavender,
A hint of faintly browned sugar.
I thought of the powerful citrus my father wore,
I often thought he smelled how he looked,
Huge and powerful,
The slightest hint...
#family
67 reads
0 Comments
Gifted
I don’t feel gifted
I don’t feel wrapped in silver foil and gold leaf
I feel like earth
I feel cloaked in leaves and swallowed in dark
I don’t feel gifted
I don’t feel royal blue or emerald green
I feel like earth
I feel like red earth and browning leaves
I don’t feel gifted
Perhaps gifted was just a way of saying different
I don’t feel wrapped in silver foil and gold leaf
I feel like earth
I feel cloaked in leaves and swallowed in dark
I don’t feel gifted
I don’t feel royal blue or emerald green
I feel like earth
I feel like red earth and browning leaves
I don’t feel gifted
Perhaps gifted was just a way of saying different
#Autism
#childhood
118 reads
3 Comments
Tell my Father
Tell my father it’s music
Or at least that I’m bleeding
He’ll know what it means
Ask him to come home
Or at least that I’m listening for him
He’ll know what it means
Give him a warning
Or at least a hug
He’ll know what it means
Tell my father
His son is picking at the splintered wood of an old guitar that’s lost its shine
His son is cutting his fingers on the rusty steel strings of a bass
His son is getting blood on the dusty drum heads
His son wants him to sing.
Or at least that I’m bleeding
He’ll know what it means
Ask him to come home
Or at least that I’m listening for him
He’ll know what it means
Give him a warning
Or at least a hug
He’ll know what it means
Tell my father
His son is picking at the splintered wood of an old guitar that’s lost its shine
His son is cutting his fingers on the rusty steel strings of a bass
His son is getting blood on the dusty drum heads
His son wants him to sing.
#aging
#father
118 reads
2 Comments
Rhyme and Reason
I wonder if the bleeding ink bleeds because it cannot scar.
If the rushing water rushes because it cannot escape.
If the weeping willow weeps because it cannot laugh.
If the running mouse in the wheel runs because it cannot move.
If the I write what I write because I have not the bravery to speak it.
If the rushing water rushes because it cannot escape.
If the weeping willow weeps because it cannot laugh.
If the running mouse in the wheel runs because it cannot move.
If the I write what I write because I have not the bravery to speak it.
#loneliness
#philosophical
110 reads
1 Comment
Hot and Cold
The chilling desperation to be noticed,
The molten humiliation of being seen.
Can I freeze?
Can I burn?
Can I hold warmth in my arms,
A comfortable warmth that doesn’t stain my skin red.
Have I ever known warmth?
Will I ever know warmth?
Must I always stick my hands into fire;
Must I always dip my body in freezing waves?
The thrill of the heat,
The rush of the cold;
I thrive in it as much as it kills me.
I was born in it,
I was built for a war.
I was built for the...
The molten humiliation of being seen.
Can I freeze?
Can I burn?
Can I hold warmth in my arms,
A comfortable warmth that doesn’t stain my skin red.
Have I ever known warmth?
Will I ever know warmth?
Must I always stick my hands into fire;
Must I always dip my body in freezing waves?
The thrill of the heat,
The rush of the cold;
I thrive in it as much as it kills me.
I was born in it,
I was built for a war.
I was built for the...
#MentalHealth
83 reads
0 Comments
The Loneliness of a Crowded Room
The feeling of pure joy,
The moment of ecstasy when we all cheer as one.
I scream so loud,
I clapped until my hands burned.
I’m surrounded by my brothers and sisters,
My team.
But there’s an isolating darkness,
Just beyond me.
It lies in wait.
Feeling alone,
In a room full of people.
The moment of ecstasy when we all cheer as one.
I scream so loud,
I clapped until my hands burned.
I’m surrounded by my brothers and sisters,
My team.
But there’s an isolating darkness,
Just beyond me.
It lies in wait.
Feeling alone,
In a room full of people.
#loneliness
71 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nixprty