Submissions by Nixprty
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write the words my tongue can’t speak, and for those who can still see clearly through the foggy windows.
Chasing Clouds
He watches the clouds,
He wonders how they drift away without him noticing.
One moment they’re there,
And suddenly they’re gone.
Perhaps when he blinks,
They run off quietly.
Fleeing from his gaze,
From his life.
Has he sent them away?
Has he driven them to escape?
Why can’t he chase them?
Why won’t he ever catch up?
He is haunted by days with clear sunny skies.
He wonders how they drift away without him noticing.
One moment they’re there,
And suddenly they’re gone.
Perhaps when he blinks,
They run off quietly.
Fleeing from his gaze,
From his life.
Has he sent them away?
Has he driven them to escape?
Why can’t he chase them?
Why won’t he ever catch up?
He is haunted by days with clear sunny skies.
#friendship
#loneliness
#shame
85 reads
0 Comments
Insides (Outsides)
I feel hollowed out,
Like if I could see inside myself I’d see a tangle of veins and bones left behind.
I once got a cut on my face,
From mouth to ear.
It was deep enough in some places I could see the inside of my mouth from the outside.
I remember the blood running down my throat,
Putting my shaking hands to the wound and feeling nothing.
I was stitched up at the hospital,
They didn’t let me look at my face afterward.
I hardly remember what it looked like now,
But the sensation of seeing my insides from the outside, ...
Like if I could see inside myself I’d see a tangle of veins and bones left behind.
I once got a cut on my face,
From mouth to ear.
It was deep enough in some places I could see the inside of my mouth from the outside.
I remember the blood running down my throat,
Putting my shaking hands to the wound and feeling nothing.
I was stitched up at the hospital,
They didn’t let me look at my face afterward.
I hardly remember what it looked like now,
But the sensation of seeing my insides from the outside, ...
#bipolar
#MentalHealth
84 reads
0 Comments
Memories
You told me you forgot,
How does that feel?
I remember everything,
From the tears in your eyes,
To how you looked with blood on your sleeves.
I’m happy you can forget,
How does one forget?
I remember you screaming,
Can you still hear it?
Can you still make that noise?
I sit awake at night,
While you grasp onto remnants of nightmares.
I suffer like you,
But I suffer with my eyes open.
What else...
How does that feel?
I remember everything,
From the tears in your eyes,
To how you looked with blood on your sleeves.
I’m happy you can forget,
How does one forget?
I remember you screaming,
Can you still hear it?
Can you still make that noise?
I sit awake at night,
While you grasp onto remnants of nightmares.
I suffer like you,
But I suffer with my eyes open.
What else...
#PTSD
#suffering
#violence
148 reads
0 Comments
Forbidden Love
Love was never easy,
Hardly painless.
It hurt more,
When I loved without permission.
How cruel god is,
To make him so beautiful.
How clever,
To make him so unobtainable.
He dances on thick ice,
His feet shake the ground.
I shiver in the cold,
He glows in blue.
He isn’t beautiful like a woman,
But a different kind of beauty that exists only in firelight and darkness.
He’s beautiful in the sense that he looks like art,
I’m forbidden to sketch him.
He is beautiful like the red sky after a...
Hardly painless.
It hurt more,
When I loved without permission.
How cruel god is,
To make him so beautiful.
How clever,
To make him so unobtainable.
He dances on thick ice,
His feet shake the ground.
I shiver in the cold,
He glows in blue.
He isn’t beautiful like a woman,
But a different kind of beauty that exists only in firelight and darkness.
He’s beautiful in the sense that he looks like art,
I’m forbidden to sketch him.
He is beautiful like the red sky after a...
#ForbiddenLove
#LGBT
237 reads
1 Comment
Craving Violence
I got 8 teeth pulled at a very young age,
I remember feeling them slip from my gums as my bones creaked and cracked.
The dentist held up my bloody teeth and said to me,
Wow I’ve never seen roots so big and long on a child!
I watched him admire my bloody tooth,
I felt oddly proud.
He gave me my teeth in a little box,
They shook around in their case the whole way home.
I once got a fight with a kid 3 grades above me,
He hit his knuckles into the right side of my mouth.
I felt the metal of...
I remember feeling them slip from my gums as my bones creaked and cracked.
The dentist held up my bloody teeth and said to me,
Wow I’ve never seen roots so big and long on a child!
I watched him admire my bloody tooth,
I felt oddly proud.
He gave me my teeth in a little box,
They shook around in their case the whole way home.
I once got a fight with a kid 3 grades above me,
He hit his knuckles into the right side of my mouth.
I felt the metal of...
#childhood
#MentalHealth
#violence
89 reads
2 Comments
Late Nights
The rising chill of the morning,
I feel cold sunlight shining through my window.
I stumble in the still too dark hallway,
Crashing noisily into the bathroom.
I flick the light switch on,
And a sickly yellow fluorescent light fills the room.
I look in the mirror,
My eyes are dark and deep.
The worst part of late nights,
Are early mornings.
I feel cold sunlight shining through my window.
I stumble in the still too dark hallway,
Crashing noisily into the bathroom.
I flick the light switch on,
And a sickly yellow fluorescent light fills the room.
I look in the mirror,
My eyes are dark and deep.
The worst part of late nights,
Are early mornings.
#insomnia
#sleep
106 reads
2 Comments
Impressions
Every morning aches with fog,
Every night wheezes with smoke,
I can only offer cold sunshine.
I get the impression that isn’t what you were expecting.
When you are alone all the time,
You speak to yourself,
So you know you haven’t forgotten how to speak.
I write stories every night before I sleep.
In the hopes that I will dream of them,
And escape the nightmares.
If I start counting the days on my wall,
How long will it take
For the tally marks...
Every night wheezes with smoke,
I can only offer cold sunshine.
I get the impression that isn’t what you were expecting.
When you are alone all the time,
You speak to yourself,
So you know you haven’t forgotten how to speak.
I write stories every night before I sleep.
In the hopes that I will dream of them,
And escape the nightmares.
If I start counting the days on my wall,
How long will it take
For the tally marks...
#aging
#loneliness
#philosophical
76 reads
0 Comments
Grief
The undeniably human experience;
Grief.
Mourning loss and fearing change is in our skin,
It holds us together.
The chance of more time,
The promise of an end.
That’s as human as it gets.
It’s something you’re not born with,
But you are born from it.
In it.
As your family holds you in their arms,
Or even if they don’t,
The promise hangs like the rolling clouds of a thick storm.
Grief fills every delivery room,
In the shallow faded background of joy.
Grief.
Mourning loss and fearing change is in our skin,
It holds us together.
The chance of more time,
The promise of an end.
That’s as human as it gets.
It’s something you’re not born with,
But you are born from it.
In it.
As your family holds you in their arms,
Or even if they don’t,
The promise hangs like the rolling clouds of a thick storm.
Grief fills every delivery room,
In the shallow faded background of joy.
#bittersweet
#death
#grief
91 reads
0 Comments
Restless
Unending static
The sound of a restless mind
Shuffling in its bed
Blankets kicked to the floor
It wails and screams
Scratching deep red lines into its legs
All its wants is to sleep
To embrace a comforting darkness
Hitting its head against the wall
Begging for unconsciousness
To drown its own voice
To forget its cries
A worried little creature with absolutely nothing to worry about
Unending static
The sound of a restless child
The sound of a restless mind
Shuffling in its bed
Blankets kicked to the floor
It wails and screams
Scratching deep red lines into its legs
All its wants is to sleep
To embrace a comforting darkness
Hitting its head against the wall
Begging for unconsciousness
To drown its own voice
To forget its cries
A worried little creature with absolutely nothing to worry about
Unending static
The sound of a restless child
#Autism
#childhood
#insomnia #MentalHealth
#insomnia #MentalHealth
123 reads
0 Comments
She Loves Me
She loves me,
She loves me not.
She loves me,
Pancakes for breakfast and pizza for dinner.
She loves me not,
Begging to be hugged,
Sleeping cold.
She’s loves me,
She said so from the car as I walked into school.
She loves me not,
Waiting outside for hours ignoring the pitying stares.
She loves me,
Trips to the beach.
She loves me not,
She locks the door behind her.
Im sorry,
Open the door.
It’s an unreasonable ask,
It’s...
She loves me not.
She loves me,
Pancakes for breakfast and pizza for dinner.
She loves me not,
Begging to be hugged,
Sleeping cold.
She’s loves me,
She said so from the car as I walked into school.
She loves me not,
Waiting outside for hours ignoring the pitying stares.
She loves me,
Trips to the beach.
She loves me not,
She locks the door behind her.
Im sorry,
Open the door.
It’s an unreasonable ask,
It’s...
#hurt
#mother
108 reads
2 Comments
A Conversation on Morals and Self Hatred
Do you think you’re a good person?
Yeah, I’d say so.
Why?
Well.. I don’t think I’m particularly mean or cruel, and I try to always be fair.
How does that make you a good person?
It doesn’t, but it definitely helps people see me as one.
..What do you think a good person is?
Someone who makes an effort to be as good as they can when they can.
What if they mess up?
Well that’s why I said WHEN they can, not everyone can be perfect all the time. We are human, ya know?
I don’t think I’m a...
Yeah, I’d say so.
Why?
Well.. I don’t think I’m particularly mean or cruel, and I try to always be fair.
How does that make you a good person?
It doesn’t, but it definitely helps people see me as one.
..What do you think a good person is?
Someone who makes an effort to be as good as they can when they can.
What if they mess up?
Well that’s why I said WHEN they can, not everyone can be perfect all the time. We are human, ya know?
I don’t think I’m a...
#friendship
#philosophical
94 reads
1 Comment
The Call of the Dark
I stare at the hills,
Watching the darkness swirl.
It’s so thick I can almost grasp it,
but just thin enough that it slips through my fingers.
I’ve given up trying to run from it,
It whispers in my ears and whistles in my teeth.
I feel it eating at my flesh,
I feel it licking at my wounds.
A darkness so insidious,
Rolling over the hills in slow moving waves.
It beckons me with promises,
I follow mindlessly.
I claw at my skin,
Trying to get its remnants out of every pore.
It’s always right under my skin, ...
Watching the darkness swirl.
It’s so thick I can almost grasp it,
but just thin enough that it slips through my fingers.
I’ve given up trying to run from it,
It whispers in my ears and whistles in my teeth.
I feel it eating at my flesh,
I feel it licking at my wounds.
A darkness so insidious,
Rolling over the hills in slow moving waves.
It beckons me with promises,
I follow mindlessly.
I claw at my skin,
Trying to get its remnants out of every pore.
It’s always right under my skin, ...
#MentalHealth
68 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nixprty