Submissions by Nixprty
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write the words my tongue can’t speak, and for those who can still see clearly through the foggy windows.
Little Girl
I was raised by a little girl.
She was hurt,
She had bruises and cuts on her body.
We took beatings together,
She’s the only one who held me as I cried.
I was raised by a little girl,
She knew my father as a soldier.
She knew him better than I did,
Rather,
Who he used to be.
He stopped hurting us as we grew,
But she was already grown.
I was raised by a little girl,
She was the coolest person I knew.
She introduced me to good music,
She let me draw anime girls all over her...
She was hurt,
She had bruises and cuts on her body.
We took beatings together,
She’s the only one who held me as I cried.
I was raised by a little girl,
She knew my father as a soldier.
She knew him better than I did,
Rather,
Who he used to be.
He stopped hurting us as we grew,
But she was already grown.
I was raised by a little girl,
She was the coolest person I knew.
She introduced me to good music,
She let me draw anime girls all over her...
#abuse
#bittersweet
#sister
179 reads
0 Comments
Appearances
I don’t blame people for assuming,
I don’t blame outsiders for not looking in.
If you saw a shop with a sign that said “pet store”,
You’d assume if you looked in you’d see pets and pet supplies.
If you saw a building with a sign that said library,
You’d assume if you looked in you’d see books and desks.
If you saw people labeled “mother” and “father”,
You’d assume they were nurturing and caring of their children.
But “Mother” and “Father” are not titles to be earned,
It’s a...
I don’t blame outsiders for not looking in.
If you saw a shop with a sign that said “pet store”,
You’d assume if you looked in you’d see pets and pet supplies.
If you saw a building with a sign that said library,
You’d assume if you looked in you’d see books and desks.
If you saw people labeled “mother” and “father”,
You’d assume they were nurturing and caring of their children.
But “Mother” and “Father” are not titles to be earned,
It’s a...
#parent
#sadness
147 reads
1 Comment
I’m Not Your Friend
I’ve never known my parents,
We’ve met many times.
I try and introduce myself,
But they never hear me.
I told my mother once,
Late at night.
She was crying,
And I felt like I was too.
But when I put my hand to my cheek,
It was dry.
She was choking on sobs,
I could hardly hear her.
I don’t know why,
But I said to her,
“If you weren’t my mom, I don’t think I’d like you.”
She just look at me,
Wide eyed and teary.
“I don’t think I’d like you if...
We’ve met many times.
I try and introduce myself,
But they never hear me.
I told my mother once,
Late at night.
She was crying,
And I felt like I was too.
But when I put my hand to my cheek,
It was dry.
She was choking on sobs,
I could hardly hear her.
I don’t know why,
But I said to her,
“If you weren’t my mom, I don’t think I’d like you.”
She just look at me,
Wide eyed and teary.
“I don’t think I’d like you if...
#bittersweet
#childhood
#MentalHealth
88 reads
3 Comments
How to Hurt
There are many methods of self harm.
So many ways to cure the ache,
With the sharp burning sensation of pain.
Getting into a fight because it felt so good to be hit,
And even better to hit back.
Burning the tips of my fingers until they were dark and hard,
Slicing the skin off the next morning.
Punching myself in the face,
Watching the blood pool just under the surface of my skin.
Isolating myself,
It hurts more when you hurt...
So many ways to cure the ache,
With the sharp burning sensation of pain.
Getting into a fight because it felt so good to be hit,
And even better to hit back.
Burning the tips of my fingers until they were dark and hard,
Slicing the skin off the next morning.
Punching myself in the face,
Watching the blood pool just under the surface of my skin.
Isolating myself,
It hurts more when you hurt...
#SelfHarm
214 reads
1 Comment
Family (Friend)
The car stopped.
The front door is right there,
I can’t get in.
I feel my hands shake,
I hear the soft crunches of a paper bag.
Are you going inside?
No.
Why not?
I don’t want to be around people.
You can’t stay in the car.
My parents leave me in the car all the time.
He starts crying.
His eyes are wide and red,
There’s an emotion in his eyes that feels like sad fondness.
I ask him why he’s crying but he won’t stop.
I’m sorry.
...
The front door is right there,
I can’t get in.
I feel my hands shake,
I hear the soft crunches of a paper bag.
Are you going inside?
No.
Why not?
I don’t want to be around people.
You can’t stay in the car.
My parents leave me in the car all the time.
He starts crying.
His eyes are wide and red,
There’s an emotion in his eyes that feels like sad fondness.
I ask him why he’s crying but he won’t stop.
I’m sorry.
...
#abuse
#bittersweet
#childhood
135 reads
1 Comment
A Quarter Past Two
I remember when we were younger.
When you were barely 4 foot,
I was 4’8.
You called me your best friend,
I never stopped you.
We got older,
Time stole you.
You called me once a year,
I hear voices over the line,
‘Happy birthday’.
I saw you at Christmas last year.
Smiling ear to ear,
Dimples deep at the corners of your mouth.
You haven’t aged a bit,
You’re hardly 5 foot.
I curse time,
Time stole you.
But you still smile the same,
Hardly 5 foot.
Your voice still...
When you were barely 4 foot,
I was 4’8.
You called me your best friend,
I never stopped you.
We got older,
Time stole you.
You called me once a year,
I hear voices over the line,
‘Happy birthday’.
I saw you at Christmas last year.
Smiling ear to ear,
Dimples deep at the corners of your mouth.
You haven’t aged a bit,
You’re hardly 5 foot.
I curse time,
Time stole you.
But you still smile the same,
Hardly 5 foot.
Your voice still...
#aging
90 reads
0 Comments
Phthalo Green
Phthalo Green:
So close to Viridian.
Perhaps Emerald,
Or maybe Prussian?
I ache for warm Olive tones,
Or the coolness of Cobalt.
I could become Yellow Ochre,
Or mix into Cerulean.
Phthalo Green.
So close to anything else,
So far from what I want to be.
So close to Viridian.
Perhaps Emerald,
Or maybe Prussian?
I ache for warm Olive tones,
Or the coolness of Cobalt.
I could become Yellow Ochre,
Or mix into Cerulean.
Phthalo Green.
So close to anything else,
So far from what I want to be.
#identity
#SelfWorth
#shame
118 reads
0 Comments
40,000 Feet
I can see
The ocean
Beneath me
Or perhaps I’ve become
One with the sky
I remember my first
Flight I asked
Where is heaven
I only see
Rows of clouds
My mother handed
Me a small pill
I was asleep within
20…
Minutes..
I never asked
Again because I didn’t
Expect an answer
Or even acknowledgment
I should’ve felt
Wonder at being so high
Off the ground
But I felt an emptiness
I cannot seem
To fly far enough away from
The ocean
Beneath me
Or perhaps I’ve become
One with the sky
I remember my first
Flight I asked
Where is heaven
I only see
Rows of clouds
My mother handed
Me a small pill
I was asleep within
20…
Minutes..
I never asked
Again because I didn’t
Expect an answer
Or even acknowledgment
I should’ve felt
Wonder at being so high
Off the ground
But I felt an emptiness
I cannot seem
To fly far enough away from
#bittersweet
#memories
87 reads
0 Comments
Chatterbox
Oh dear
I’ve asked too many questions
I always seem to forget
When a sentence should end
I see why
You’re tired of me
You stare at me
I ask again
You ask if I’m manic
You close the fridge door
You’ve been holding the handle
So hard your knuckles are white
I say I’m not
You turn your head
Looking into the dark dining room
I see now the conversation was over
But I ask again
Because I can’t seem to remember
When a sentence should end
You let out a cry
It’s deranged and pained ...
I’ve asked too many questions
I always seem to forget
When a sentence should end
I see why
You’re tired of me
You stare at me
I ask again
You ask if I’m manic
You close the fridge door
You’ve been holding the handle
So hard your knuckles are white
I say I’m not
You turn your head
Looking into the dark dining room
I see now the conversation was over
But I ask again
Because I can’t seem to remember
When a sentence should end
You let out a cry
It’s deranged and pained ...
#bullying
#frustration
#manipulation
#mother
#shame
171 reads
5 Comments
Reflection of my Father
If I screamed,
Would he hear me?
He cannot see my pain,
But he smells my blood.
He tastes it in the air.
Like a shark,
It sends him into a pointless rage.
His teeth hurt just as bad.
I was born from his anger,
A reflection of his greatest fears.
His most secretive desires.
I am everything he couldn’t be,
He cannot hide his jealously.
A delicious swirl of painful rage and sadness.
I feel pity for his hurt,
I...
Would he hear me?
He cannot see my pain,
But he smells my blood.
He tastes it in the air.
Like a shark,
It sends him into a pointless rage.
His teeth hurt just as bad.
I was born from his anger,
A reflection of his greatest fears.
His most secretive desires.
I am everything he couldn’t be,
He cannot hide his jealously.
A delicious swirl of painful rage and sadness.
I feel pity for his hurt,
I...
#anger
#bittersweet
#father
147 reads
2 Comments
Glances
You look good tonight.
Not that I’m looking.
Not that I can.
In ancient times they would cut off your hands if you were caught stealing,
Why have they plucked my eyes out?
It was only a passing glance.
I am forced to survive off the scraps of memories.
I’m sure the sky is beautiful tonight.
Can you describe it to me?
Not that I’m looking.
Not that I can.
In ancient times they would cut off your hands if you were caught stealing,
Why have they plucked my eyes out?
It was only a passing glance.
I am forced to survive off the scraps of memories.
I’m sure the sky is beautiful tonight.
Can you describe it to me?
#ForbiddenLove
#sadness
161 reads
0 Comments
Reflection
I put a hand to the window,
I feel the chilling air of the night.
As I pull back there is a print of my hand against the glass,
As if I’d never left.
My reflection stays too.
One day,
She will put her hand to this exact spot.
Will she know I was there?
Will she feel me?
The heat of her palm will melt the cold night,
Like the heat of her stare melts my skin.
I hope she feels me,
I hope to one day feel her too.
I hope she feels.
I feel the chilling air of the night.
As I pull back there is a print of my hand against the glass,
As if I’d never left.
My reflection stays too.
One day,
She will put her hand to this exact spot.
Will she know I was there?
Will she feel me?
The heat of her palm will melt the cold night,
Like the heat of her stare melts my skin.
I hope she feels me,
I hope to one day feel her too.
I hope she feels.
#love
#UnrequitedLove
137 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nixprty