Submissions by MartenHoyle (Vate C. Carmen)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
(...)
(…)
There are clouds above the mourning star,
Snow falling on my every unseen scar.
Tasting of sorrow, nobody is coming through the door,
Though it’s open for you like it always was before.
And my heart is itching to tell you about this ache
While you tell me I am filled with hate.
And strangers will never forgive me if I stop breathing now,
There is the phantom of a kiss that never came on my brow
I can feel it burning my skin like something that really was there.
I want to lie beside you and run my fingers through your hair ...
There are clouds above the mourning star,
Snow falling on my every unseen scar.
Tasting of sorrow, nobody is coming through the door,
Though it’s open for you like it always was before.
And my heart is itching to tell you about this ache
While you tell me I am filled with hate.
And strangers will never forgive me if I stop breathing now,
There is the phantom of a kiss that never came on my brow
I can feel it burning my skin like something that really was there.
I want to lie beside you and run my fingers through your hair ...
#relationships
#heartbroken
#breakup
#conflict
#hurt
187 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
If it came from a bouquet,
There would be nothing for me to say.
And you never looked more beautiful
Than when you left me with my soul.
There was a storm on a day of suns,
The rays could have been anyone’s.
And you told me to pretend you’d died
If it was easier to leave your side.
We never ran out in the rain,
And I’ll never taste the drops again.
And the clouds that passed away on high
Were like little castles in the sky.
I cried for—I do not know how long,
Listening to what might have been a...
If it came from a bouquet,
There would be nothing for me to say.
And you never looked more beautiful
Than when you left me with my soul.
There was a storm on a day of suns,
The rays could have been anyone’s.
And you told me to pretend you’d died
If it was easier to leave your side.
We never ran out in the rain,
And I’ll never taste the drops again.
And the clouds that passed away on high
Were like little castles in the sky.
I cried for—I do not know how long,
Listening to what might have been a...
#heartbroken
#breakup
#IMissYou
187 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
I want to build my arms around you…
It’s the best that fantasy can do.
I thought it was your voice I heard
But it was the singing of a bird
As the darkness turned to gold
In a morning still and cold.
And I am withering to waste.
I see the loneliness I’ve faced
Is coming back again
Just as it’s always been.
And I want nothing to do with reality,
I just want you to lay beside me
And hear me forgive you your trespasses
As my blood burns and fades to ashes.
Will you kill me, so I don’t have to? ...
I want to build my arms around you…
It’s the best that fantasy can do.
I thought it was your voice I heard
But it was the singing of a bird
As the darkness turned to gold
In a morning still and cold.
And I am withering to waste.
I see the loneliness I’ve faced
Is coming back again
Just as it’s always been.
And I want nothing to do with reality,
I just want you to lay beside me
And hear me forgive you your trespasses
As my blood burns and fades to ashes.
Will you kill me, so I don’t have to? ...
#heartbroken
#emotional
#hurt
290 reads
1 Comment
(...)
(…)
I can’t say goodbye to anyone
I can’t bear to see the rising sun.
Stars so pale in the morning sky
And I cannot bear to say goodbye
To the night where I heard you dreaming,
And my dreams have lost all their meaning,
Save to escape to another world with you
Where we can live our lives anew.
Flowers on my face and on the floor
That will not bloom here anymore.
And nobody knows quite what to say
As this sickness kills me every day:
Its like a cloud inside my head.
And I cannot bear to lie in my bed
So I wait for...
I can’t say goodbye to anyone
I can’t bear to see the rising sun.
Stars so pale in the morning sky
And I cannot bear to say goodbye
To the night where I heard you dreaming,
And my dreams have lost all their meaning,
Save to escape to another world with you
Where we can live our lives anew.
Flowers on my face and on the floor
That will not bloom here anymore.
And nobody knows quite what to say
As this sickness kills me every day:
Its like a cloud inside my head.
And I cannot bear to lie in my bed
So I wait for...
#sadness
#anxiety
#depression
#loneliness
#emptiness
203 reads
0 Comments
An Abusive Situation 2: An Explanation
As I said in a previous post, I do not want to start a GoFundMe page. Apart from the fact that it is just like begging to my mind, and that I would much rather have people get something in return for helping me (the books), I do not have a bank account. I only have PayPal. I am on a fixed income due to a mental disorder known as schizoaffective disorder.
All of the books I am offering were written by none other than myself. There are poetry collections as well as prose here.
I wrote WILL, the most recent collection, when the abuse started nearly a year ago. I...
All of the books I am offering were written by none other than myself. There are poetry collections as well as prose here.
I wrote WILL, the most recent collection, when the abuse started nearly a year ago. I...
#breakup
#abuse
#WritingPoetry
#support
#DomesticViolence
228 reads
(...)
(…)
You could beat me, torture me, and leave me for dead
But wouldn’t you, wouldn’t rather love me instead?
If you could tear down these walls, and rip the castle apart
Then surely, surely you also could mend my heart
Broken by your hand, only your hand can mend this
Though perhaps it is a dream, merely of a kiss.
I see you coming home, admitting to what blinds us
From all the handsome light that yet binds us.
And others have prayed, others have prayed the same
That you will see me; and come home to me again.
And would...
You could beat me, torture me, and leave me for dead
But wouldn’t you, wouldn’t rather love me instead?
If you could tear down these walls, and rip the castle apart
Then surely, surely you also could mend my heart
Broken by your hand, only your hand can mend this
Though perhaps it is a dream, merely of a kiss.
I see you coming home, admitting to what blinds us
From all the handsome light that yet binds us.
And others have prayed, others have prayed the same
That you will see me; and come home to me again.
And would...
#sadness
#love
#depression
#breakup
#IMissYou
278 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
I can say your beauty will never perish.
The air you breathe, that I still cherish
By my side, for one final night’s rest
Where I feel myself the uninvited guest
In the home we no longer share,
Now so strange with the shadows there:
Self-slaying shadows where once you lay—
Shadows that haunt me in the light of day.
And you stared into the distance as I wept.
My heart you left—my tears you kept
I prayed for you to hold me as you never would,
I longed for you to love me as you never could.
And if I ever sleep, just...
I can say your beauty will never perish.
The air you breathe, that I still cherish
By my side, for one final night’s rest
Where I feel myself the uninvited guest
In the home we no longer share,
Now so strange with the shadows there:
Self-slaying shadows where once you lay—
Shadows that haunt me in the light of day.
And you stared into the distance as I wept.
My heart you left—my tears you kept
I prayed for you to hold me as you never would,
I longed for you to love me as you never could.
And if I ever sleep, just...
#heartbroken
#breakup
#IMissYou
341 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
These tears I shed on the flowers
Of all that is doomed to be ours:
Now of ruins, the world I saw in you,
The only paradise that ever I knew,
Is a story of the candle you were
In the darkness—that held my prayer.
I was young, but never free to dwell
In this world that I must bid farewell,
Though I long to hear you say
That we will meet there someday.
And never will this sky be as clear,
Never a sweeter note shall I hear
Than celestial chords in what I imagine
Was the Heaven this land once had been.
O! There,...
These tears I shed on the flowers
Of all that is doomed to be ours:
Now of ruins, the world I saw in you,
The only paradise that ever I knew,
Is a story of the candle you were
In the darkness—that held my prayer.
I was young, but never free to dwell
In this world that I must bid farewell,
Though I long to hear you say
That we will meet there someday.
And never will this sky be as clear,
Never a sweeter note shall I hear
Than celestial chords in what I imagine
Was the Heaven this land once had been.
O! There,...
#relationships
#heartbroken
#breakup #conflict
#breakup #conflict
273 reads
1 Comment
Abusive Situation. Please Help.
I don't want to set up a GoFundMe page. So, I'm going to try to earn the money to get out of a terrible, abusive situation. Here is the link to WILL, the most recent poetry collection--available on Kindle, in paperback and as a hardcover. The links to the JARS TRILOGY books as well as a couple other poetry collections are here. It goes to a good cause: Getting me the fuck out of here before something bad happens to me. At present, things have not escalated to the point of the offer of physical abuse, though he has pushed me several times in the past.
WILL: ...
WILL: ...
#abuse
#scary
#support #DomesticViolence
#support #DomesticViolence
242 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
O! I weep to drink of that Lethean stream,
And forget this dreadful, unwanted dream.
In my eyes, life hath passed wearily by
And will pass again, the day I die.
No Heaven awaits—all our lives recur
And what shall be is all things that were.
O! Life. If you only could end the strife
O! Pain. If only I never drank of your lips again.
The circle returns to once more be complete
So, as though for the first time, we shall meet:
Life, Pain, and you and I
From one birth to the next time that we die.
Is there rest...
O! I weep to drink of that Lethean stream,
And forget this dreadful, unwanted dream.
In my eyes, life hath passed wearily by
And will pass again, the day I die.
No Heaven awaits—all our lives recur
And what shall be is all things that were.
O! Life. If you only could end the strife
O! Pain. If only I never drank of your lips again.
The circle returns to once more be complete
So, as though for the first time, we shall meet:
Life, Pain, and you and I
From one birth to the next time that we die.
Is there rest...
#love
#death
152 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
Now I must be buried, ere my time is past.
And shall love ye, though I breathe my last.
And will you offer but a prayer
For a grave that’s half so fair?
Will you bring but a thorn; denying the bloom,
As never would I deny such perfume?
Deny me those charms as you leave,
It is for such things that I shall grieve.
I longed to see you in your own eyes
So lost was I in those auburn dyes
And the rivers ceased to flow
Time stood so still or seemed to slow
When I looked into you as I died
With the thorn you brought...
Now I must be buried, ere my time is past.
And shall love ye, though I breathe my last.
And will you offer but a prayer
For a grave that’s half so fair?
Will you bring but a thorn; denying the bloom,
As never would I deny such perfume?
Deny me those charms as you leave,
It is for such things that I shall grieve.
I longed to see you in your own eyes
So lost was I in those auburn dyes
And the rivers ceased to flow
Time stood so still or seemed to slow
When I looked into you as I died
With the thorn you brought...
#love
#death
264 reads
0 Comments
(...)
(…)
These are not the tears of a lover,
Though we shed them for one another.
These are not the tears I have shed before,
They are the ashes of something more
Than all I gave and all that I regret
These are the tears I shall not forget.
Thank you for breaking everything,
Leaving me only to care for you,
Thank you for taking everything
And taking my heart there with you.
My clouded hopelessness still can view
Another life where I am holding you.
For all I know, there is another place
Where I am locked in...
These are not the tears of a lover,
Though we shed them for one another.
These are not the tears I have shed before,
They are the ashes of something more
Than all I gave and all that I regret
These are the tears I shall not forget.
Thank you for breaking everything,
Leaving me only to care for you,
Thank you for taking everything
And taking my heart there with you.
My clouded hopelessness still can view
Another life where I am holding you.
For all I know, there is another place
Where I am locked in...
#sadness
#love
#heartbroken #despair
#heartbroken #despair
241 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by MartenHoyle (Vate C. Carmen)