Submissions by Fallen_Angel_194 (Angel.)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
"Light the flowers of the earth like incense and come dance with me in a field of fire" - Johnny Ox
The call home
I fear that I will soon wither away, that it will seem that I was never here to begin with.
The water that inhabits my lungs weighs me down like an an aged iron anchor,
And the numbness is a feeling that i've only ever known all too well.
I fear that I am sinking, and that this time I may not make it out.
The numbness that lives inside my skin is comforting to me,
Because in a way I know now that she'd never left me in the first place.
That happiness is a fever dream that I know will never come to me.
I am thankful for her numbness, because...
The water that inhabits my lungs weighs me down like an an aged iron anchor,
And the numbness is a feeling that i've only ever known all too well.
I fear that I am sinking, and that this time I may not make it out.
The numbness that lives inside my skin is comforting to me,
Because in a way I know now that she'd never left me in the first place.
That happiness is a fever dream that I know will never come to me.
I am thankful for her numbness, because...
#sadness
#depression
#MentalHealth #IMissYou
#MentalHealth #IMissYou
264 reads
2 Comments
Where were you
I’ve always wondered where you’ve gone,
But when I ask they say you’ve been here all along.
People pray to you, and build statues in your name, and yet you are nowhere to be found.
I have always struggled with my faith, to believe in a man I cannot see.
I find it hard to believe, that creator of all,
Would give a horrid disease to me, and still expect my love and praise of him.
I sometimes wonder if any of it’s real at all,
If god even exists.
I wonder where you are right now,
If you’re watching over my mother and father like i’ve...
But when I ask they say you’ve been here all along.
People pray to you, and build statues in your name, and yet you are nowhere to be found.
I have always struggled with my faith, to believe in a man I cannot see.
I find it hard to believe, that creator of all,
Would give a horrid disease to me, and still expect my love and praise of him.
I sometimes wonder if any of it’s real at all,
If god even exists.
I wonder where you are right now,
If you’re watching over my mother and father like i’ve...
#religion
#God
250 reads
1 Comment
Loved one
Losing a loved one is never the way you expect it to be,
Sometimes it is so slow that you can see them withering away before your eyes,
And then sometimes it is so fast that they are already gone before you can say “I love you”
I never really knew the real you, who danced through the night,
And had a party for everything, but they tell me stories of you,
And how much you were loved.
I know that we’ve grown close, and I hold you inside of my soul,
For you are my last grandfather, my very best pal.
I hope that you are going somewhere warm,...
Sometimes it is so slow that you can see them withering away before your eyes,
And then sometimes it is so fast that they are already gone before you can say “I love you”
I never really knew the real you, who danced through the night,
And had a party for everything, but they tell me stories of you,
And how much you were loved.
I know that we’ve grown close, and I hold you inside of my soul,
For you are my last grandfather, my very best pal.
I hope that you are going somewhere warm,...
#grief
#death
#IMissYou
310 reads
2 Comments
PCOS
She lives inside my body like an unwanted house guest ; unwelcome by all.
She strikes at the most important moments and leaves me with nothing but anger and pain.
She stays inside my lungs like a cancer that refuses to be killed, she is part of me.
I wake up sometimes mad at the world and the sky,
Mad at anything and everyone who tells me that I’ll be alright.
Because I am not alright, I am not fine.
I wake up and yell at god, asking why me.
There is no cure for what I have, and I may never have children because of it,
And I think that’s...
She strikes at the most important moments and leaves me with nothing but anger and pain.
She stays inside my lungs like a cancer that refuses to be killed, she is part of me.
I wake up sometimes mad at the world and the sky,
Mad at anything and everyone who tells me that I’ll be alright.
Because I am not alright, I am not fine.
I wake up and yell at god, asking why me.
There is no cure for what I have, and I may never have children because of it,
And I think that’s...
#illness
#MentalHealth
#myself
725 reads
0 Comments
House of the dead
I am living within the remnants of your home, and you are not here.
You are gone, but I feel you everywhere; And I cannot escape the crushing waves of grief.
You are suffocating me from the inside out; and yet you aren't really here.
Instead you are somewhere else further from here, and I hope it's beautiful.
I can no longer ignore the grief that consumes countless nights in bed,
Or the crying so hard I cannot seem to catch my breath,
Because I feel as If I have gone with you.
I sometimes wait in the mornings, in hopes that you'll be there to greet...
You are gone, but I feel you everywhere; And I cannot escape the crushing waves of grief.
You are suffocating me from the inside out; and yet you aren't really here.
Instead you are somewhere else further from here, and I hope it's beautiful.
I can no longer ignore the grief that consumes countless nights in bed,
Or the crying so hard I cannot seem to catch my breath,
Because I feel as If I have gone with you.
I sometimes wait in the mornings, in hopes that you'll be there to greet...
#grief
#death
#IMissYou
311 reads
2 Comments
Ribs
I wear my grief around my body like death herself,
As if she has nestled herself into my rib cage.
Grief and I bargain with each other at night,
In hopes that for awhile I might receive some peace,
But peace never comes, she is nowhere to be found.
Peace is a fever dream wrapped up in a pill coated lie that I will never get,
And I am so angry at the world, I am angry at anyone who dares to listen.
My anger could leave the whole wide world scorched into flames without hesitation.
She lives inside my chest like an unwanted guest unwelcome by all...
As if she has nestled herself into my rib cage.
Grief and I bargain with each other at night,
In hopes that for awhile I might receive some peace,
But peace never comes, she is nowhere to be found.
Peace is a fever dream wrapped up in a pill coated lie that I will never get,
And I am so angry at the world, I am angry at anyone who dares to listen.
My anger could leave the whole wide world scorched into flames without hesitation.
She lives inside my chest like an unwanted guest unwelcome by all...
#grief
#death
328 reads
1 Comment
To my D.G.
You have been gone seven days exactly, but it feels like an eternity to me.
I am writhing on the inside of myself with anger that I hold for you,
And no matter how hard I try, She lights the walls of my soul on fire each time.
I wish that you didn't have to die, because I never expected you to.
I wish that you'd taken better care of yourself, and maybe we wouldn't be here.
I want to scream at you until my lungs wither into dust and cry until the sun is no more.
I wanted to hold you in my arms and tell you that it was okay to let go,
But I never got any...
I am writhing on the inside of myself with anger that I hold for you,
And no matter how hard I try, She lights the walls of my soul on fire each time.
I wish that you didn't have to die, because I never expected you to.
I wish that you'd taken better care of yourself, and maybe we wouldn't be here.
I want to scream at you until my lungs wither into dust and cry until the sun is no more.
I wanted to hold you in my arms and tell you that it was okay to let go,
But I never got any...
#grief
#death
255 reads
2 Comments
Masterpiece
I am a living work of art; a god damn masterpiece.
My lips taste of the sweetest honey and my smile could cure death itself,
I no longer need any validation from you, my inner goddess does that on her own.
I don't need the long late night phone calls, or the half hearted jokes,
I refuse to be the shame that you tuck inside your lungs to feel alive.
I am so much more than you could ever dream of having, and I am not for you.
You could never begin to even fathom controlling me, let alone loving a being like me.
I was not made for you or anyone else, I...
My lips taste of the sweetest honey and my smile could cure death itself,
I no longer need any validation from you, my inner goddess does that on her own.
I don't need the long late night phone calls, or the half hearted jokes,
I refuse to be the shame that you tuck inside your lungs to feel alive.
I am so much more than you could ever dream of having, and I am not for you.
You could never begin to even fathom controlling me, let alone loving a being like me.
I was not made for you or anyone else, I...
#anger
#breakup
#betrayal
286 reads
3 Comments
Heaven sent.
You wrap cigarillo papers around your body as if it will keep you warm,
As if the hole opening around your soul will permanently be sewn shut.
You were my very best friend and I thought you'd be there until the end,
But you liked weed better than you liked me and you gave it all up.
I wish that i could go back and tell you to stop,
But you have built cigarette stained barriers around your beating heart,
And cotton balls caked with ash live inside your lungs,
Clinging to them as if were their last breath.
I will always love you more than i...
As if the hole opening around your soul will permanently be sewn shut.
You were my very best friend and I thought you'd be there until the end,
But you liked weed better than you liked me and you gave it all up.
I wish that i could go back and tell you to stop,
But you have built cigarette stained barriers around your beating heart,
And cotton balls caked with ash live inside your lungs,
Clinging to them as if were their last breath.
I will always love you more than i...
#alcohol
#drugs
#addiction
281 reads
0 Comments
Don't shoot
I live in a world with blood stained memorials of young black men,
There is blood on our government's hands, and they don't give a damn.
While there's thousands of us dying in the streets, crying justice and peace,
They're getting richer and sending in swat teams.
George Floyd, Bothom jean, Those men were innocent,
George was shopping, and Bothom was eating ice cream.
There will never be peace for us, and justice is a fever dream.
If there is no justice, there is no peace.
The president wears a crown of thorns and sits on a throne made of...
There is blood on our government's hands, and they don't give a damn.
While there's thousands of us dying in the streets, crying justice and peace,
They're getting richer and sending in swat teams.
George Floyd, Bothom jean, Those men were innocent,
George was shopping, and Bothom was eating ice cream.
There will never be peace for us, and justice is a fever dream.
If there is no justice, there is no peace.
The president wears a crown of thorns and sits on a throne made of...
#peace
#morality
247 reads
0 Comments
Who are you to say
You are a man, and yet you believe you have a right to my body ; my womb.
You say that children's lives matter, but yet it is not a child yet. ; merely cells.
How dare you assume such callous things of me, a woman.
My children will never be, and if they ever are, they would die.
They wouldn't see the sun or hear my voice, they wouldn't have any chance at life.
So how can you, as a man, ever even come to begin what I'd go through,
You wouldn't have to plan a funeral,
Or view baby sized coffins that reek with the stench of newborn death.
You...
You say that children's lives matter, but yet it is not a child yet. ; merely cells.
How dare you assume such callous things of me, a woman.
My children will never be, and if they ever are, they would die.
They wouldn't see the sun or hear my voice, they wouldn't have any chance at life.
So how can you, as a man, ever even come to begin what I'd go through,
You wouldn't have to plan a funeral,
Or view baby sized coffins that reek with the stench of newborn death.
You...
#motherhood
268 reads
1 Comment
Afraid of the world
I hold so much anger in my soul for you that I could light the sun on fire,
You've taken so much away from me, so many special days.
You ruin everything with your anger, and fists and your throat.
I want to scream at you at the top of my lungs,
To tell you to get lost and to leave us.
You took everything away and didn't even say sorry,
My eighteenth birthday was supposed to be special, and you ruined that too.
I wish I could give my mother all of my strength, in hopes she might leave you.
I would rejoice, battlecry at the top of my lungs.
...
You've taken so much away from me, so many special days.
You ruin everything with your anger, and fists and your throat.
I want to scream at you at the top of my lungs,
To tell you to get lost and to leave us.
You took everything away and didn't even say sorry,
My eighteenth birthday was supposed to be special, and you ruined that too.
I wish I could give my mother all of my strength, in hopes she might leave you.
I would rejoice, battlecry at the top of my lungs.
...
#father
283 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Fallen_Angel_194 (Angel.)