Submissions by David_Macleod (14397816)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Hi!
Nothing to Report
Nothing to Report
I don’t really remember it well
But I know it was a Monday
I’ve never liked Mondays
I now like them even less
I died thee times according to reports
I woke up during the surgical procedure
I woke up, panicked and then died again
The surgeon apologised for errors
Despite not writing anything down
No reports no chance to sue
I have my own report to report
My captains log of deaths investigation
I must apologise in advance
Especially to those of a spiritual disposition
I have nothing to report
And I mean...
I don’t really remember it well
But I know it was a Monday
I’ve never liked Mondays
I now like them even less
I died thee times according to reports
I woke up during the surgical procedure
I woke up, panicked and then died again
The surgeon apologised for errors
Despite not writing anything down
No reports no chance to sue
I have my own report to report
My captains log of deaths investigation
I must apologise in advance
Especially to those of a spiritual disposition
I have nothing to report
And I mean...
727 reads
4 Comments
Internal Memo (Hell)
Today is No Noise Friday
There will be no screaming
There will be no crying
No blubbering, sobbing or whining
No whingeing, moaning or groaning
No grumping, shouting or acting up
No running around like headless chickens
No flapping about like gutless fish
All residents’ teeth have been removed
All forms of gnashing deemed inappropriate
All whips have been bubble wrapped
All torture contraptions have been heavily greased
Torture rooms have been padded and sound proofed
All residents have been pool ball gagged
The lake of fire has...
There will be no screaming
There will be no crying
No blubbering, sobbing or whining
No whingeing, moaning or groaning
No grumping, shouting or acting up
No running around like headless chickens
No flapping about like gutless fish
All residents’ teeth have been removed
All forms of gnashing deemed inappropriate
All whips have been bubble wrapped
All torture contraptions have been heavily greased
Torture rooms have been padded and sound proofed
All residents have been pool ball gagged
The lake of fire has...
797 reads
10 Comments
I Stopped
I used to sit and think
I should be safe with inertia
I was happy to wander as a cloud
To me lonilness was next to godliness
Peace and quiet was extacy
My personal drug of choice
There is a certain type of joy
In not having to communicate
Not having to speak to anyone
Especially someone like you
So I stopped
I closed my ears to all the shouting
Whilst trying to develop selective hearing
Hoping and longing to hear
You say something nice
Something caring, something loving
I’d talk to you in the hope
I could persuade you...
I should be safe with inertia
I was happy to wander as a cloud
To me lonilness was next to godliness
Peace and quiet was extacy
My personal drug of choice
There is a certain type of joy
In not having to communicate
Not having to speak to anyone
Especially someone like you
So I stopped
I closed my ears to all the shouting
Whilst trying to develop selective hearing
Hoping and longing to hear
You say something nice
Something caring, something loving
I’d talk to you in the hope
I could persuade you...
859 reads
7 Comments
Witness
Your truth and lies are both the same
Of viewpoint take account
It’s all a game
And lame by name
Regardless of amount
You spin your web to trap me
It’s power that you’re about
It’s clear to see
That you’re off key
Of that I have no doubt
You try to blind with Bible page
Demanding faith and money
I can’t engage
I’m full of rage
None of this is funny
Your Gods like any other God
A God of your invention
I won’t believe
I won’t receive
My intension is abstention
You can keep your crosses, keep your...
Of viewpoint take account
It’s all a game
And lame by name
Regardless of amount
You spin your web to trap me
It’s power that you’re about
It’s clear to see
That you’re off key
Of that I have no doubt
You try to blind with Bible page
Demanding faith and money
I can’t engage
I’m full of rage
None of this is funny
Your Gods like any other God
A God of your invention
I won’t believe
I won’t receive
My intension is abstention
You can keep your crosses, keep your...
904 reads
4 Comments
REASONS FOR SAYING "I LOVE YOU"
Men say I love you when their minds on sexual vice
Women say I love you when a cuddle will suffice
Men say I love you so you'll do as your told
Women say I love you instead of being bold
Men say I love you when they want to set up home
Women say I love you when they're scared of being alone
Men say I love you when they want to steel your money
Women say I love you even when you start acting funny
Men say I love you with presents they've been buying
Women say I love you even when they know you're lying
Men say I love you while...
Women say I love you when a cuddle will suffice
Men say I love you so you'll do as your told
Women say I love you instead of being bold
Men say I love you when they want to set up home
Women say I love you when they're scared of being alone
Men say I love you when they want to steel your money
Women say I love you even when you start acting funny
Men say I love you with presents they've been buying
Women say I love you even when they know you're lying
Men say I love you while...
1638 reads
13 Comments
This Man’s Wisdom (New Year Message)
never be afraid of the truth
never hide your feeling
never deny who you are and where you came from
If you love someone tell them regardless
Learn to be different from the norm
stand out and stand up
believe in yourself don’t take shit
hate is good when the reason is good
Learn not to forgive, some people don’t deserve it
hope for much, settle for little
show respect when it’s earned
sing
dance
laugh
cry
get drunk but not too often
smoke weed it makes you a nicer person
have imaginary friends but don’t...
never hide your feeling
never deny who you are and where you came from
If you love someone tell them regardless
Learn to be different from the norm
stand out and stand up
believe in yourself don’t take shit
hate is good when the reason is good
Learn not to forgive, some people don’t deserve it
hope for much, settle for little
show respect when it’s earned
sing
dance
laugh
cry
get drunk but not too often
smoke weed it makes you a nicer person
have imaginary friends but don’t...
877 reads
2 Comments
Edgar
Sipping his tenth brandy a man called Edgar
Sat effortlessly smoking a Cuban cigar
In the gentlemen’s club of which he was a member
He lounged back enjoying night’s warmth of September
He mused at his fame and his writing skills
The terrible poetry that still gave fans thrills
‘Its wonderful to be wonderful’ he thought
‘I can do what I like without getting caught
Mainly because I am famous and they are not
They’ll never ever have what I have got
His thoughts turned to the love of his life
A girl he’d forced to become his wife
At 13 a girl...
Sat effortlessly smoking a Cuban cigar
In the gentlemen’s club of which he was a member
He lounged back enjoying night’s warmth of September
He mused at his fame and his writing skills
The terrible poetry that still gave fans thrills
‘Its wonderful to be wonderful’ he thought
‘I can do what I like without getting caught
Mainly because I am famous and they are not
They’ll never ever have what I have got
His thoughts turned to the love of his life
A girl he’d forced to become his wife
At 13 a girl...
1078 reads
4 Comments
To f**k You
I want to fuck you
There; I said it
Honesty without subtlety
Sex without love
No promises necessary
Love now spelled L.U.S.T
I want to fuck you
I want to fuck you everywhere
On the sofa, on the chair
I want to fuck you like a whore
I want to fuck you on the floor
I want to fuck and lick you
I want to fuck and stick you
I want to fuck you
I want to fuck in every crack
From the front and from the back
I want to fuck you in the car
I want to fuck you at the bar
I want to fuck you in the kitchen
Fuck you hard...
There; I said it
Honesty without subtlety
Sex without love
No promises necessary
Love now spelled L.U.S.T
I want to fuck you
I want to fuck you everywhere
On the sofa, on the chair
I want to fuck you like a whore
I want to fuck you on the floor
I want to fuck and lick you
I want to fuck and stick you
I want to fuck you
I want to fuck in every crack
From the front and from the back
I want to fuck you in the car
I want to fuck you at the bar
I want to fuck you in the kitchen
Fuck you hard...
14645 reads
17 Comments
F.Y.I
FYI
F.Y.I - For Your Information
Matthew 16:27,28 says, “ For the son of man is going to come in the glory of his father with his angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the son of man coming in his kingdom”
F.Y.I - For Your Information
The expected rupture of the Rapture
Has already happened, we missed it
It happened during the first century
As predicted and promised by Jesus
The righteous were taken up in the sky...
F.Y.I - For Your Information
Matthew 16:27,28 says, “ For the son of man is going to come in the glory of his father with his angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the son of man coming in his kingdom”
F.Y.I - For Your Information
The expected rupture of the Rapture
Has already happened, we missed it
It happened during the first century
As predicted and promised by Jesus
The righteous were taken up in the sky...
761 reads
2 Comments
It's Christmas Time (Band Aid re-write)
It's Christmas time; there's every need to be afraid
At Christmastime, gorged with greed we just don’t care
And in our world of plenty we ensure our selfish joy
Throw your arms up in the air at Christmas time
Why say a prayer, to a god that doesn’t care
At Christmas time
It's not hard, because you're having fun
lock the world outside your window
when being poor is what you fear
and all that’s really flowing is champagne and crocodile tears
they’ve no Christmas bells that ring there
everything is death and doom
Well tonight...
At Christmastime, gorged with greed we just don’t care
And in our world of plenty we ensure our selfish joy
Throw your arms up in the air at Christmas time
Why say a prayer, to a god that doesn’t care
At Christmas time
It's not hard, because you're having fun
lock the world outside your window
when being poor is what you fear
and all that’s really flowing is champagne and crocodile tears
they’ve no Christmas bells that ring there
everything is death and doom
Well tonight...
694 reads
4 Comments
The Types of Men
Loud ones, proud ones, honest well endowed ones
Lazy ones, crazy ones, drug induced hazy ones
Dozed ones, closed ones, vain and strike a pose ones
Fine ones, benign ones, scared without a spine ones
Keen ones, lean ones, the nasty and the mean ones
Funny ones, honey ones, loads and loads of money ones
Bony ones, moany ones, the lying and phoney ones
Twat ones, rat ones, mummy’s little brat ones
Dude ones, shrewd ones, some who’ve come unglued ones
Drunk ones, punk ones, smelling like a skunk ones
Racy ones pacy ones, hippie type and spacey ones...
Lazy ones, crazy ones, drug induced hazy ones
Dozed ones, closed ones, vain and strike a pose ones
Fine ones, benign ones, scared without a spine ones
Keen ones, lean ones, the nasty and the mean ones
Funny ones, honey ones, loads and loads of money ones
Bony ones, moany ones, the lying and phoney ones
Twat ones, rat ones, mummy’s little brat ones
Dude ones, shrewd ones, some who’ve come unglued ones
Drunk ones, punk ones, smelling like a skunk ones
Racy ones pacy ones, hippie type and spacey ones...
646 reads
4 Comments
Harry Normal
Normal by name
Normal by nature
Straight as a dye
Never a caper
Quiet and shy
Monotonous pacer
Lives with his mum
Never a raver
Sundays for church
Communion wafer
A man of his word
Honest and true
Good as a neighbour
Good through and through
It’s a pity he’s gone
It’s a shame that he’s dead
This eulogy spoken
You’re soon to be fed
The wake is informal
A fine spread indeed
My mood turning formal
Toasting god speed
RIP Harry Normal
A good man indeed
Normal by nature
Straight as a dye
Never a caper
Quiet and shy
Monotonous pacer
Lives with his mum
Never a raver
Sundays for church
Communion wafer
A man of his word
Honest and true
Good as a neighbour
Good through and through
It’s a pity he’s gone
It’s a shame that he’s dead
This eulogy spoken
You’re soon to be fed
The wake is informal
A fine spread indeed
My mood turning formal
Toasting god speed
RIP Harry Normal
A good man indeed
608 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by David_Macleod (14397816)