Observational Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about life, society and the natural world
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
JIPWriter1
Poem Published
Today 8:37am
Today 8:37am
Life Es Un Videogameo
Life es un videogameo--I am Super Mario jumping over Gombas in Houston Gomba traffic on a daily basis.
Life es un videogameo--God gives me the 1UP through prayer y forgiveness. I must be Neo dodging enemies like eccentric bullets in the Matrix.
Life es un videogameo--persevering to the American Dream like Max Payne. I am staying in the game like Max until my life meter is depleted.
Life es un videogameo--persevering to the final level where I die like Max Payne. I am staying in the game until the “Game Over” screen is deleted.
Life es un videogameo--Jesus...
Life es un videogameo--God gives me the 1UP through prayer y forgiveness. I must be Neo dodging enemies like eccentric bullets in the Matrix.
Life es un videogameo--persevering to the American Dream like Max Payne. I am staying in the game like Max until my life meter is depleted.
Life es un videogameo--persevering to the final level where I die like Max Payne. I am staying in the game until the “Game Over” screen is deleted.
Life es un videogameo--Jesus...
#TruthOfLife
#honesty
#LifeCycle
#emotional
#philosophical
4 reads
0 Comments
Kexby
Poem Published
Today 8:29am
Today 8:29am
Fading print
Thoughts an ages-while ago
on yellow paper,
contemporary in their time
have lost their sense.
Right in their time, less meaning now
We've had time to think.
Time has healed, it always will
we should have waited,
not wasted years on idle thoughts
but torn the pages, shred by shred.
Had they been carved in stone
not scribble on cheap paper
the labour in the carving
would have been better spent,
than the hasty pen.
on yellow paper,
contemporary in their time
have lost their sense.
Right in their time, less meaning now
We've had time to think.
Time has healed, it always will
we should have waited,
not wasted years on idle thoughts
but torn the pages, shred by shred.
Had they been carved in stone
not scribble on cheap paper
the labour in the carving
would have been better spent,
than the hasty pen.
#hope
6 reads
1 Comment
Hunterapsych
H.R
H.R
Poem Published
Today 3:28am
Today 3:28am
The illusion of suppressed suffering
We have a natural impulse
to alter our dimension.
We're clever craftsmen
we've created careless conveniences.
We're young and we're still naive
as can be about ourselves.
We've adapted to complete dependency
brought up that way since infancy.
We redesigned devastation
down to the dirtiest detail
to "enhance" our experience.
We tried to silence suffering which
in turn caused so much buffering
resulting in absolute confusion and despair
deeply disturbing us.
Does the destruction distract you,
Distract...
to alter our dimension.
We're clever craftsmen
we've created careless conveniences.
We're young and we're still naive
as can be about ourselves.
We've adapted to complete dependency
brought up that way since infancy.
We redesigned devastation
down to the dirtiest detail
to "enhance" our experience.
We tried to silence suffering which
in turn caused so much buffering
resulting in absolute confusion and despair
deeply disturbing us.
Does the destruction distract you,
Distract...
#earth
#universe
#spiritual
#humankind
#philosophical
20 reads
1 Comment
LokiOfLiterati
Poem Published
Today 3:24am
Today 3:24am
f**k your Culture War Shot 1
Flow is a mind bender and we blow ourselves to embers as the disposable gender, like last to the life rafts and get off the mobilly masculine path, doxed and taxed for how you laugh, eradicated for putting the lucid on blast, Louie C.K. chopped in half, branded at that like he's Weinstein. Fucking GroupMind Memes pollute the stream. Fuck it, shame me for my dreams. What I spit will still be glistening with a sheen, like evening dewdrops in moonbeams. Forget the metaphors, discipline yourself to what shit really means. I just listen on a meta-historic panoramic screen.
#women
#men
#conflict
#politics
#inequality
11 reads
0 Comments
takis1917
Poem Published
Today 2:44am
Today 2:44am
Tonight, He Weaves...
His favorite pastime
- call it obsession, preoccupation,
call it what have you -
was his life's legacy
always revisiting, re-examining,
always angling, spinning and revising,
always,
aiming at constructing a more effective narrative...
Tonight he took on colors
- he thought he knew his well -
Black and white the early years...
Decades of rage certainly red...
Hues of grey dominated the rest...
Tonight, he finds the puzzle incomplete...
Tonight, he feels his painting is lacking texture...
"Where is the blue?", he...
- call it obsession, preoccupation,
call it what have you -
was his life's legacy
always revisiting, re-examining,
always angling, spinning and revising,
always,
aiming at constructing a more effective narrative...
Tonight he took on colors
- he thought he knew his well -
Black and white the early years...
Decades of rage certainly red...
Hues of grey dominated the rest...
Tonight, he finds the puzzle incomplete...
Tonight, he feels his painting is lacking texture...
"Where is the blue?", he...
#mythology
15 reads
0 Comments
Pigeonheart
Poem Published
Today 1:09am
Today 1:09am
Sybil’s Villanelle
One’s Brigadoons their Steve McQueens
two separate to disagree
three-faced in Apple
lost in dreams
The trances traced inside extremes
of multiples of other me’s
Those Brigadoons
and Steve McQueens
replaced and chased but not redeemed
across a flat reality
three faced
and lost in Apple’s dream
the promised lands appear on screen
imagination’s clarity
a brig is doomed
a queen’s McSteve
...
two separate to disagree
three-faced in Apple
lost in dreams
The trances traced inside extremes
of multiples of other me’s
Those Brigadoons
and Steve McQueens
replaced and chased but not redeemed
across a flat reality
three faced
and lost in Apple’s dream
the promised lands appear on screen
imagination’s clarity
a brig is doomed
a queen’s McSteve
...
#secrets
#technology
#MentalHealth #hypocrisy
#MentalHealth #hypocrisy
12 reads
0 Comments
archetype23
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:58pm
Yesterday 7:58pm
IN AN ENDLESS SEA OF SWEET SWEET ASS
IN AN ENDLESS SEA OF SWEET SWEET ASS
I don't have a soul girl sent
so I won't attempt to present myself as innocent
---gazing at the amazing blazing glorious glow---
There's nothing wrong in my lowest class
with taking a glance without a chance
as a friendless hoe in an endless flow
teeters past the pass
in an endless sea of sweet sweet ass
I don't have a soul girl sent
so I won't attempt to present myself as innocent
---gazing at the amazing blazing glorious glow---
There's nothing wrong in my lowest class
with taking a glance without a chance
as a friendless hoe in an endless flow
teeters past the pass
in an endless sea of sweet sweet ass
#happiness
#motivational
#admiration #respect
#admiration #respect
19 reads
0 Comments
Kexby
Poem Published
Yesterday 11:35am
Yesterday 11:35am
Violets
Yesterday the sun came out
winter gone another year,
beneath the yew’s
shade and sanctuary.
Violets calm in morning sun,
company for dandelions as
daffodils fade and sparrow tweets
Yew dark and green guards,
violets cluster and surprise
were not here last year
uninvited settled beneath the shade.
Cowslips in the grass ,dandelions, Hellebores
spread comfort, carried on wings and storm,
perhaps the crow, seed caught in its feathers
Amethyst crystals,once to charm the ancients
blue, dark as a summer night,...
winter gone another year,
beneath the yew’s
shade and sanctuary.
Violets calm in morning sun,
company for dandelions as
daffodils fade and sparrow tweets
Yew dark and green guards,
violets cluster and surprise
were not here last year
uninvited settled beneath the shade.
Cowslips in the grass ,dandelions, Hellebores
spread comfort, carried on wings and storm,
perhaps the crow, seed caught in its feathers
Amethyst crystals,once to charm the ancients
blue, dark as a summer night,...
#inspirational
16 reads
2 Comments
drone
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:42am
Yesterday 10:42am
Painful Feeling
In the beginning
there was meaning
in the middle
began the end
and at the end
a painful feeling
of all the lies
we conceived
to keep our mind
from seeing things
that our children
should have never
Believed
there was meaning
in the middle
began the end
and at the end
a painful feeling
of all the lies
we conceived
to keep our mind
from seeing things
that our children
should have never
Believed
#sadness
#LifeStruggles
16 reads
0 Comments
drone
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:22am
Yesterday 10:22am
City Teenagers
Is it not sad
to see
most
city teenagers
with their belief
that group think
is their god
and their master
And they never
bite the hand
that spoon feeds
their belief's
on their screens
but when their cornered
in their speech
plausible denial
is what they preach
when their faced
with the facts
that make them scream
to see
most
city teenagers
with their belief
that group think
is their god
and their master
And they never
bite the hand
that spoon feeds
their belief's
on their screens
but when their cornered
in their speech
plausible denial
is what they preach
when their faced
with the facts
that make them scream
#sadness
18 reads
2 Comments
Hunterapsych
H.R
H.R
Poem Published
Yesterday 6:53am
Yesterday 6:53am
What humans think pt.1
What humans think
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create.
What humans think
humans create.
What humans think
humans create.
The alien in the starfield
looked down on earth
and came to see if
we experienced a...
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create,
humans save yourselves.
What humans think
humans create.
What humans think
humans create.
What humans think
humans create.
The alien in the starfield
looked down on earth
and came to see if
we experienced a...
#LifeStruggles
#earth
#humankind
#SelfReflection
#philosophical
20 reads
3 Comments
theEgoEffect
Barona
Barona
Poem Published
Yesterday 2:55am
Yesterday 2:55am
Specks of Dead Suns
••*•••*•••
The moon is so vibrant & full of light,
scattered specks of dead suns fill the night;
to think they've been gone for so long,
like cosmic artists who paint the sky
& are valued when far gone.
Though some remain, twinkling away
far from thought, far from sight;
while we go about wasting our days,
thinking of ways to right our wrongs
in rhymes and songs...
Dark skies have me mesmerized;
I once saw a dozen shooting stars -
struggling to see the point that night,
it brought upon deep thoughts of
who we...
The moon is so vibrant & full of light,
scattered specks of dead suns fill the night;
to think they've been gone for so long,
like cosmic artists who paint the sky
& are valued when far gone.
Though some remain, twinkling away
far from thought, far from sight;
while we go about wasting our days,
thinking of ways to right our wrongs
in rhymes and songs...
Dark skies have me mesmerized;
I once saw a dozen shooting stars -
struggling to see the point that night,
it brought upon deep thoughts of
who we...
#death
#universe
57 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Poems Seeking Critique about Life, Society and the World
