Observational Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about life, society and the natural world - Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
drone
Poem Published
Today 11:25am
Today 11:25am
Shallow Teaching
How can one teach
children
the things
that has been
bred out
how can one speak
words
one does not
fully understand
how can one give excuses
for ones actions
when one feels
the consequences
near at hand
how can one say
I am human
when ones intent
has no plans
just riding along
the waves of a life
that was planed
from the day you were born
to the day of your death
when your final moments
come upon you
will it
only be then
you form
those gentle tears ...
children
the things
that has been
bred out
how can one speak
words
one does not
fully understand
how can one give excuses
for ones actions
when one feels
the consequences
near at hand
how can one say
I am human
when ones intent
has no plans
just riding along
the waves of a life
that was planed
from the day you were born
to the day of your death
when your final moments
come upon you
will it
only be then
you form
those gentle tears ...
#sadness
#disappointment
4 reads
1 Comment
drone
Poem Published
Today 9:35am
Today 9:35am
Adrift
Do you
feel adrift
within this sea of chaos
watching your shoreline
of razor sharp rocks
with your
ship
that is slowly sinking
with the weight
of all your
Excess baggage
that you find hard
to throw
Overboard
feel adrift
within this sea of chaos
watching your shoreline
of razor sharp rocks
with your
ship
that is slowly sinking
with the weight
of all your
Excess baggage
that you find hard
to throw
Overboard
#LifeStruggles
10 reads
4 Comments
Ralph_Tamez
Wasere
Wasere
Poem Published
Today 9:06am
Today 9:06am
shadow of me
Did you see me?
Or was i too late..
Look at my faults
I know ..they look great.
Walks now alone
Even harder to take
try to walk back
I fear I'm too late
Instead I search ground
No shadow around
It must have gone searching
For somebody new
Perhaps it was lonely
Decided to flee
Next time you go walking
And your shadow
Splits in two
Just remember
Even my shadow
Still misses
you
Or was i too late..
Look at my faults
I know ..they look great.
Walks now alone
Even harder to take
try to walk back
I fear I'm too late
Instead I search ground
No shadow around
It must have gone searching
For somebody new
Perhaps it was lonely
Decided to flee
Next time you go walking
And your shadow
Splits in two
Just remember
Even my shadow
Still misses
you
#astronomy
10 reads
2 Comments
joeborg
Poem Published
Today 6:59am
Today 6:59am
monday blurr
One more Monday to enjoy
It’s like I’ve lost my favourite toy,
Feeling shaky a dispersed
so in need of being nursed,
vision blurred and office air
sitting staring in my chair,
waiting for the bell to break
start to work after its wake,
so I start up my PC
so your pictures I can see,
this will surely change my mood
and stop feeling like a Crood.
It’s like I’ve lost my favourite toy,
Feeling shaky a dispersed
so in need of being nursed,
vision blurred and office air
sitting staring in my chair,
waiting for the bell to break
start to work after its wake,
so I start up my PC
so your pictures I can see,
this will surely change my mood
and stop feeling like a Crood.
#depression
#girlfriend
#lover #FallingInLove
#lover #FallingInLove
8 reads
0 Comments
kamododragon
Poem Published
Today 5:35am
Today 5:35am
The loneliest walk
I walk on this trail of mines, all alone and completely by myself
A lot of it reminds me of what my life is like
What my life has been up to this point and where I am going
Much of it on my own and by myself
It makes me wonder, where am I going and when I am going to get there.
It makes me ponder what I have done with my life
What I could have done and even what I could have accomplished in my life
I often wonder because when I walk by people, I don’t even smile
Let alone glance at them because I know I am not where they are
I’ll never be where...
A lot of it reminds me of what my life is like
What my life has been up to this point and where I am going
Much of it on my own and by myself
It makes me wonder, where am I going and when I am going to get there.
It makes me ponder what I have done with my life
What I could have done and even what I could have accomplished in my life
I often wonder because when I walk by people, I don’t even smile
Let alone glance at them because I know I am not where they are
I’ll never be where...
#LifeStruggles
#philosophical
6 reads
0 Comments
Olivia-H
Poem Published
Yesterday 00:36am
Yesterday 00:36am
On Recovery
Stay cautious
Believe me
Got broken takes, no time
Healing, a way long
Fragments,
Need to be confirm
Align to the earlier form
Stabilize for endurance
Then finally
Makeover stitch
Allowing the time to recover
But this is not the end
Some of us take
Much longer than
The usual time
In those
Who are obsessed
To scratch the scar
Recall the moment
With a same dumb question
Why me?
Little do we knew
Why few don’t
Want to get healed ...
Believe me
Got broken takes, no time
Healing, a way long
Fragments,
Need to be confirm
Align to the earlier form
Stabilize for endurance
Then finally
Makeover stitch
Allowing the time to recover
But this is not the end
Some of us take
Much longer than
The usual time
In those
Who are obsessed
To scratch the scar
Recall the moment
With a same dumb question
Why me?
Little do we knew
Why few don’t
Want to get healed ...
#heartbroken
#LifeStruggles
#TruthOfLife
19 reads
2 Comments
SatInUGal
Kumar
Kumar
Poem Published
Yesterday 3:41pm
Yesterday 3:41pm
LITTLE OLD STORE
I'm open
Says the store
With bells on
Its door
But no one
Seems to notice
Anymore
Says the store
With bells on
Its door
But no one
Seems to notice
Anymore
#loneliness
#aging
14 reads
7 Comments
Amorous_tryst
Poem Published
Yesterday 2:40pm
Yesterday 2:40pm
Treasured Times
It began slowly, one at a time
the arrival of thunderous rumbles
crescendos of sound
blurred streaks in various shades
tearing through the tranquility
black
black & white
brown
brown & white
white
add to the frenzy and loss of order
the long coat queen of the land
equal instigator to the bedlam unfolding
I sat and marveled at the sight and sound
memories of long ago
these similar times encountered
before the influence of ugliness
from thoughts and words
beyond my...
the arrival of thunderous rumbles
crescendos of sound
blurred streaks in various shades
tearing through the tranquility
black
black & white
brown
brown & white
white
add to the frenzy and loss of order
the long coat queen of the land
equal instigator to the bedlam unfolding
I sat and marveled at the sight and sound
memories of long ago
these similar times encountered
before the influence of ugliness
from thoughts and words
beyond my...
#childhood
#humankind
#learning #SelfReflection
#learning #SelfReflection
19 reads
2 Comments
Joseph-Zenieh
Poem Published
Yesterday 1:58pm
Yesterday 1:58pm
POETRY IN VERSE
POETRY IN VERSE
The words that take men out of selves
and place them in the world of thought
where all is clear and directs them
to relish what the verse has brought.
It is in language clearly coined
to make men ken the sense with ease
and know the notion it intends
to go through hearts and them to please.
It opens men's eyes to a fact
that makes them say that's really true,
or this is how a man should be
as real perfection hides from view.
All that is done without display
of strength to get the praise we...
The words that take men out of selves
and place them in the world of thought
where all is clear and directs them
to relish what the verse has brought.
It is in language clearly coined
to make men ken the sense with ease
and know the notion it intends
to go through hearts and them to please.
It opens men's eyes to a fact
that makes them say that's really true,
or this is how a man should be
as real perfection hides from view.
All that is done without display
of strength to get the praise we...
#WritingPoetry
9 reads
0 Comments
shannonJane
Poem Published
Yesterday 1:07pm
Yesterday 1:07pm
Nobody knows
What I have got to ask myself am I okay being the woman you was? You knew you was sleeping with the man I love while I carried our child for 9 months, you never dared questioned what went on there.
For months you played your part, the romancer, the fix it all, further apart you drove us all.
Smash bang and crash your games out played you, now you land at the starting line the one I once pondered upon.
Now your pregnant, demanding respect from all who knows it.
Now your pregnant, claiming a betrayal.
Now your pregnant, squeezing for me to cause angst with my babys...
For months you played your part, the romancer, the fix it all, further apart you drove us all.
Smash bang and crash your games out played you, now you land at the starting line the one I once pondered upon.
Now your pregnant, demanding respect from all who knows it.
Now your pregnant, claiming a betrayal.
Now your pregnant, squeezing for me to cause angst with my babys...
#relationships
#honesty
#support #respect
#support #respect
11 reads
2 Comments
SatInUGal
Kumar
Kumar
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:01am
Yesterday 7:01am
SAYING GRACE
Let us all hold hands.
As an Accountant
I can tell you
That the value proposition
Is insane:
There is a free lunch
Here
But the food is so good
I encourage you to pay!
Never take for granted
This safe
Well-lighted place
For us to bear our souls
And its unnamed
Caretaker
Fulfilling both the largest
And the smallest roles,
Dedicated mistress
Of this web we weave,
In the shadows
Where she keeps it real
Watching with gentle
(Not...
As an Accountant
I can tell you
That the value proposition
Is insane:
There is a free lunch
Here
But the food is so good
I encourage you to pay!
Never take for granted
This safe
Well-lighted place
For us to bear our souls
And its unnamed
Caretaker
Fulfilling both the largest
And the smallest roles,
Dedicated mistress
Of this web we weave,
In the shadows
Where she keeps it real
Watching with gentle
(Not...
#gratitude
18 reads
4 Comments
cold_fusion
Poem Published
Yesterday 1:48am
Yesterday 1:48am
...on why an enemy of none is an enemy of everyone
cause these days
as some idiot once
infamously said
you're either with us
or against us
meaning
if you're
neither
of the two
you're automatically
against
all
fence sitter
two faced
soulless fuck
neutrality?
now what the hell is that?
either belong
or be gone
i say fuck you
and fuck your bullying
partisanship
my choice
my will
my freedom
to give a fuck
or not
got it?
now jerk off
your swagger
and go
...
as some idiot once
infamously said
you're either with us
or against us
meaning
if you're
neither
of the two
you're automatically
against
all
fence sitter
two faced
soulless fuck
neutrality?
now what the hell is that?
either belong
or be gone
i say fuck you
and fuck your bullying
partisanship
my choice
my will
my freedom
to give a fuck
or not
got it?
now jerk off
your swagger
and go
...
#politics
#honesty
#humankind
#freedom
#philosophical
39 reads
9 Comments
DU Poetry : Poems Seeking Critique about Life, Society and the World
