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3rd December 5:38am
David_Macleod 14397816

INPORTANT NOTICE
poetry 4648
It is with much sadness and a heavy heart that I must withdraw from Cafe Critique. And so another positive effort, maligned by some and unappreciated by the powers that be has been allowed to bite the dust (The Poetcast, Loud Speaker group, etc,). I have witnessed many kind souls being abused and forced out.

There are times in this life that evil wins the day, it is futile to carry on, it is pointless making all this effort. I can hear champagne glasses clinking in celebration of my demise. So be It!

I would take this opportunity to thank all the directors and members who have worked on this most positive project your help, assistance and support has been a ray of sunshine for me and that is in short supply. Your posts for critique have been greatly appreciated and I know that the directors have been committed to giving you a positive and appropriate 'Honest critique." Through this group, I only endeavored to create a new positive critique group. This was created to replace the previous negativity. It is sad that such a positive contribution to DU has to close. It is the end of a chapter.

The way that Missy was treated and spat on by "The Few" was disgusting and the site will always be poorer from her withdrawal - I expect the same treatment but then I have gotten use to that.

But know this! despite what cabals may say in the near future, Cafe Critique was a positive force for the good of the site and its memory should be protected. Anyone who now insults its memory are the very people who are destroying this site and making it, in my view, a shadow of what it once was.

I apologize to all the directors, members, and supporters, you all contributed and supported this group.

I also apologize to supporters and friends because I am now committed to leaving the site completely. I will be around for another 4 weeks or so to say my goodbyes etc,

This could still be a good site and the vast majority of members are good people but there is a negative element that has to be removed - I can fight it no longer

My Swan Song Vision - by David Macleod (c)

The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum
Fake Gurus pedal nonsense and filth
They have too many faces for one person
They portray themselves as angels of light
But they are truly dark, devils and demons
Cowards are many bravery is not easily found
There are faint hints of revolution in the air
There is a storm coming: There will be blood!
The blood of the innocents is always shed first
Hatred and evil will sit at the top table
They will gorge themselves and feast
On the lambs of God
THIS IS THE WORLD
WE'VE CREATED
AND ALLOWED

They will become fat and lazy
Living in their chosen luxuries
At a future point, they will be unable
To run or to hide themselves away
I see a knight on a white stallion
Riding as into battle without an army
But his sword will cleave the table in two
Scattering the evildoers in all directions
And there will be no hiding place
From his righteousness and justice
The pit awaits them and such as those
And finally, evil will be exposed and defeated
And we will return to paradise

feel free to critique this poem and my comments - I leave you with love and light
 24
Edited 3rd December 4:06am
David_Macleod 14397816

Please save your work if needed (Time Limited)
poetry 2033
...........................................
 507
8th May 2:51pm
SLYMBEKQUEEN QUEEN-4U2NV

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND
PLEASE KEEP I MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND MOMMY THAT U LET HIM INTO MY WORLD
HIS FINGERS VIOLATED ME...
HIS BREATH HAUNTED ME...
CRAWLING TO MY BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I LET HIM TOUCH ME WITHOUT A FIGHT
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I HAD A TWIN AND A BABY SIS TWO YEARS YOUNGER
MAYBE IF I LET HIM IT WILL CEASE HIS HUNGER
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
WHERE WERE U DADDY
DOING DRUGS WITH FRIENDS IN THE CADDY
SCREAMING INSIDE HELP ME DADDY
HELP ME MOMMY
BUT U DONT SEE WHAT HE'S DOING TO ME
HE STOLE MY HONOR AND INNOCENCE
AND TODAY I HAVE JOB TO CONVINCE
THAT WHAT HAPPEND WHEN I WAS SIX
WAS HIS FAULT NOT MINE
MOMMY DID U NOT SEE THE BLOOD IN MY KNICKS
IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME
AND IN MY MIND I WAS HOPING
THAT MY TWO SISTERS WERE COPING
AS I WAS DROWNING
IN THE SALIVA OF A SICK PERVERT
NOW I WAS THE DIRT
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX BUT U SAY I WAS THE FLIRT
HE WAS SUPPOSE TO PROTECT ME
U WERENT SUPPOSE TO NEGLECT ME
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX TRYNG TO BE A MOM OF TWO
U SAY HE DIED
THEN U SAY I LIED
HIS DEATH WILL NEVER BRING ME JUSTICE
WHAT HE DID TO ME WAS LUSTROUS
AND IM NO GOD SO DONT EXPECT ANY MERCY
I HOPE UR PAIN WAS AS BAD AS MINE
SMILING AT ME ALL THE TIME
I HOPE U CHOKED IN UR BLOOD
FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT U RUBBED
UR DICK AT MY EXPENSE
KARMA IS A BITCH BABY AND SHE TOOK REVENGE

PS: I HOPE THE DEVIL RAPES U ON THE DAILY


 0
8th May 2:51pm
SLYMBEKQUEEN QUEEN-4U2NV

YEAH
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND
PLEASE KEEP I MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND MOMMY THAT U LET HIM INTO MY WORLD
HIS FINGERS VIOLATED ME...
HIS BREATH HAUNTED ME...
CRAWLING TO MY BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I LET HIM TOUCH ME WITHOUT A FIGHT
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I HAD A TWIN AND A BABY SIS TWO YEARS YOUNGER
MAYBE IF I LET HIM IT WILL CEASE HIS HUNGER
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
WHERE WERE U DADDY
DOING DRUGS WITH FRIENDS IN THE CADDY
SCREAMING INSIDE HELP ME DADDY
HELP ME MOMMY
BUT U DONT SEE WHAT HE'S DOING TO ME
HE STOLE MY HONOR AND INNOCENCE
AND TODAY I HAVE JOB TO CONVINCE
THAT WHAT HAPPEND WHEN I WAS SIX
WAS HIS FAULT NOT MINE
MOMMY DID U NOT SEE THE BLOOD IN MY KNICKS
IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME
AND IN MY MIND I WAS HOPING
THAT MY TWO SISTERS WERE COPING
AS I WAS DROWNING
IN THE SALIVA OF A SICK PERVERT
NOW I WAS THE DIRT
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX BUT U SAY I WAS THE FLIRT
HE WAS SUPPOSE TO PROTECT ME
U WERENT SUPPOSE TO NEGLECT ME
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX TRYNG TO BE A MOM OF TWO
U SAY HE DIED
THEN U SAY I LIED
HIS DEATH WILL NEVER BRING ME JUSTICE
WHAT HE DID TO ME WAS LUSTROUS
AND IM NO GOD SO DONT EXPECT ANY MERCY
I HOPE UR PAIN WAS AS BAD AS MINE
SMILING AT ME ALL THE TIME
I HOPE U CHOKED IN UR BLOOD
FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT U RUBBED
UR DICK AT MY EXPENSE
KARMA IS A BITCH BABY AND SHE TOOK REVENGE

PS: I HOPE THE DEVIL RAPES U ON THE DAILY


 0
5th May 8:43am
SLYMBEKQUEEN QUEEN-4U2NV

SO IF IT SAYS DRAFT DOES IT MEAN THE POEM IS POSTED
 3
15th March 11:54pm
JuusGod Juuso Hiltunen

Check it out!
I want to kindly ask you all if atleast some of you could check my most recent poem, and maybe comment some tips etc how the poem made you feel. It's on my page.
Regards: JuusGod

 4
16th February 3:00pm
Kittymorgan

Posting
Whatís the best time for reads and feed back?
 1
10th February 7:38am
shootafairone Al Alvir

Just Seeing What Happens
With every shortened breath in my tender nose,
patience furies, something only abuse can mold,
Assured to endure crisis, procured by modesty honed,
Nervous only of embarrassment
because I stand alone.

I just wanna see what happens.
I am here. I am alive.

The fun is in the details. A spot, a nod, a left,
An exchange of pain returned, the danger slipped by one half-step
When I fight, deprivation pays its debt.
Itís the fire smothering the burn, my brain will not let the body quit.
The chess I play under duress, I can stand with honor checked.

I just wanna see what happens.
We are here. No one can lie.

Numb and bitter, but I comply the heavens when angels cheer.
I just fight and forget life, but one angel steers.
I abhor everyone, Iím punching those demons, except who knew this?
Not many people are super but the few who are
do this.

 9
9th February 8:52pm
anna_grin ilchruthach

keep your mask on motherfucker

long boned hand gently cradling his coffee cup    
clean fingernails  
a comedown walk  
among the pigeons fucking and the fucking homeless †
languid † †  
unbitten by the cold morning † †  
that scraped the skin on me raw † †
unhurried † †  
while we all had somewhere to be † †
or risk the shame of breaking the lockdown code † †
† †  
for all the world a flaneur † †  
mistaking each other for a daydream fool † †
he took the time to slow
to a rubberneck crawl and shift
his sneakeríd feet to face me on † †
intently behind journalist glasses † †
waiting † †  
for me to recognise him as an equal † †
† †  
it took a moment for my mind to register † †  
the idle threat of it † †
i could have caused a problem i guess † †
† †  
but i had a bus to catch † †
and just try me, bitch † †  
† †  
get your unessential bony butt back home † †
like me † †
thatís what iím doing †
Written by anna_grin (ilchruthach)
come on, tell me why i didn't win
i've made a few edits already but what is it lacking? give us your bestest constructive rip-it-to-shreds critiques
 7
Edited 10th February 7:31am
shootafairone Al Alvir

critique
Do I just submit a poem to see how bad or possibly okay it may be?
 5
30th January 7:15pm
anna_grin ilchruthach

turtles all the way down: a book i found in picu and desecrated with my delusions

  † †  
††† † †
with thickest fine liner i censured all names † † †  
from the record † † †  
† † † †
ah, itís only cryptic when you donít have the key. † † †  
† † † †
hunched over my psychic love letter † † †  
i cared only to erase all imagining † † † †
that i was not at one with each and every character. †  
† † †  
† †  
i was † † †  
confused † † † †
† † † †
i know now † † †  
initiation never ends. † † †  
† † †
they used to go into the woods, now we go into treatment facilities. † †  
† † † †
how embarrassing for me † † †  
to think myself a host † † †  
† † †
of sluagh sidhe †  
the ira †  
and of course the nigerian cartel
† †  
† † † †
and forget about me: my child: † † †  
† † †
she ran thru the hallway, having just learnt how to † †  
she grew twenty years in three months
† †
chapter by chapter † †
and could be wiser than i... † †  
† † † †
your voice rang out in my chapel † † †  
in my steeple † † †  
in my priest hole † † †  
in the space where stone once stood † †
†  
and i found that under each fallen slab † † †  
was the same skeleton † † †  
in different clothing †
Written by anna_grin (ilchruthach)
well fuck all i wanted to do was get some feedback
and here i am assaulted by the idiocy of the internet. oh well. critique is welcome on this piece
 0
27th November 4:54am
saint_gw Gregory

Wanna help a friend.
A friend is struggling with addiction. Bad. A couple of my pieces may offer insight or understanding but any help or advice aside would be appreciated.
 1