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3rd December 5:38am
David_Macleod 14397816

INPORTANT NOTICE
poetry 4648
It is with much sadness and a heavy heart that I must withdraw from Cafe Critique. And so another positive effort, maligned by some and unappreciated by the powers that be has been allowed to bite the dust (The Poetcast, Loud Speaker group, etc,). I have witnessed many kind souls being abused and forced out.

There are times in this life that evil wins the day, it is futile to carry on, it is pointless making all this effort. I can hear champagne glasses clinking in celebration of my demise. So be It!

I would take this opportunity to thank all the directors and members who have worked on this most positive project your help, assistance and support has been a ray of sunshine for me and that is in short supply. Your posts for critique have been greatly appreciated and I know that the directors have been committed to giving you a positive and appropriate 'Honest critique." Through this group, I only endeavored to create a new positive critique group. This was created to replace the previous negativity. It is sad that such a positive contribution to DU has to close. It is the end of a chapter.

The way that Missy was treated and spat on by "The Few" was disgusting and the site will always be poorer from her withdrawal - I expect the same treatment but then I have gotten use to that.

But know this! despite what cabals may say in the near future, Cafe Critique was a positive force for the good of the site and its memory should be protected. Anyone who now insults its memory are the very people who are destroying this site and making it, in my view, a shadow of what it once was.

I apologize to all the directors, members, and supporters, you all contributed and supported this group.

I also apologize to supporters and friends because I am now committed to leaving the site completely. I will be around for another 4 weeks or so to say my goodbyes etc,

This could still be a good site and the vast majority of members are good people but there is a negative element that has to be removed - I can fight it no longer

My Swan Song Vision - by David Macleod (c)

The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum
Fake Gurus pedal nonsense and filth
They have too many faces for one person
They portray themselves as angels of light
But they are truly dark, devils and demons
Cowards are many bravery is not easily found
There are faint hints of revolution in the air
There is a storm coming: There will be blood!
The blood of the innocents is always shed first
Hatred and evil will sit at the top table
They will gorge themselves and feast
On the lambs of God
THIS IS THE WORLD
WE'VE CREATED
AND ALLOWED

They will become fat and lazy
Living in their chosen luxuries
At a future point, they will be unable
To run or to hide themselves away
I see a knight on a white stallion
Riding as into battle without an army
But his sword will cleave the table in two
Scattering the evildoers in all directions
And there will be no hiding place
From his righteousness and justice
The pit awaits them and such as those
And finally, evil will be exposed and defeated
And we will return to paradise

feel free to critique this poem and my comments - I leave you with love and light
 24
Edited 3rd December 4:06am
David_Macleod 14397816

Please save your work if needed (Time Limited)
poetry 2033
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 507
19th August 6:35am
Lagertha Elizabeth Grace

Personal Meaning of Poem* if you know
poetry 5132
It would help me as a Director of the CAF’E to be asking members in the summary request for what they are looking for to put their ( personal interpretation). Just a suggestion. It would help me which poem I should work with, as David had asked me in the beginning to help poet’s
find the positive in their words. I don’t know who to ask in the other Directors exactly where I belong in this group.
Until then, I’ll do as David asked.
Elizabeth Grace Edwards
 2
28th October 11:20pm
ItsJustLo ItsKindaJustLo

My Spider Web
He was stuck
in my spidery web
all his limbs were tied
by my glistening thread

The more he struggled
the tighter the silk
his skin turned white
white like cold milk

Terrified, he watched
me ravel him up
I pierced his neck
and put his blood in a cup

As if he had a choice
to be or not to be
such a silly phrase
to be my meal, was he

He was still alive
yet so close to death
“I loved you,” said I
and he took his last breath

 2
22nd October 6:30pm
jasmine_2003

Doesn't seem exactly how I want it, critiques?
Number 1: They will tell you that people change and that it will get better but it doesn’t, and it never will. Because narcissists do not love you unless it is directly beneficial to their own agenda, they do not love you unless your success can be credited to them. The worst part of growing up with a deadbeat dad is the way people look at you for the rest of your life. the people who grew up in happy homes will never understand how it feels to be stabbed in the back by the man who was supposed to be your first love.They will tear you apart, their words like daggers sinking into your veins, barbs hooking to your muscles and tearing at them when you try to pull them out. Number 2: They will tell you that they never meant to hurt you, that their own childhood was not easy and that their father was absent and you will insist that that was not how it had to be for you, but narcissists are good at making excuses for their actions. He will look at you and tell you about how his father left and never looked back, and you will plead with him to not do the same thing to you but to him there is no other choice. Number 3: Before you know it a year has passed and until today you have not heard anything meaningful from the scales that he calls lips spitting lies at you like poison. It burns, when he tells you that he loves you still and it stings when he says that you are still his daughter. Maybe, if you had been prettier, if you had been skinnier, if you had gotten an A on that assignment junior year instead of a B+, it would have been enough to be worthy of unconditional love. Instead his narcissism touched your skin and seeped into your pores like sunlight and scathed the brightest parts of your soul. If he had shown up to that winter concert, if he had been at that softball game, if he hadn’t been so caught up in blaming me for his faults, perhaps I would not have turned out so faulty.

 3
1st September 3:34pm
Rosaline

Spooky
Childhood games,

In times gone past.

Making memories,

That hopefully last.



Commonly found,

Were imaginary friends.

Playing together,

To whatever ends.



Fictional figures,

Bringing nothing but glee.

Save for but one,

Who darkens memory.



This was a “friend”,

To make parents wary.

Things would start fine,

But quickly turn scary.



Spooky’s his name,

As children would say.

Telling them all,

He just wanted to play.



His appearance was odd,

As his name would suggest.

Close to a goblin,

A nightmarish pest.



Pale white skin,

And large bulging eyes.

Inverted knees,

And quite small in size.



He had long fingers,

He’d curl in his palm.

So when he moved,

They’d be safe from harm.



When he was happy,

He’d tap on his teeth.

In a rhythmic percussion,

Which beggars belief.



But when he was angry,

His eyes would turn black.

He’d press on his fingers,

Until each would crack.



Once Spooky feels,

That he has their trust.

He names a few favours,

He insists are a must.



The first one to do,

Is collect him some food.

Vegetables please,

So not to be rude.



The second odd task,

Is to get him a drink.

The one for adults,

Which has a weird stink.



The third it would seem,

Is to fetch a pot.

A large one in fact,

The biggest they’ve got.



The very last one,

Will chill to the bone.

When he asks the children,

To visit his home.



Most are too smart,

They know about strangers.

Imaginary friends,

Can pose numerous dangers.



But if they agreed,

To what he had asked.

Then he could finish,

What he had been tasked.



He’d be over once more,

Stuff them into a sack.

He’d take them away,

And they’d never come back.



So that’s his tale,

But to keep you from scorning.

I’ll give you a hint,

Just one final warning.



Kids are a laugh,

They’re wild and kooky.

But watch out for yours,

If they talk to Spooky.

 0
13th August 8:24pm
GabyCamargoMiaw Gabriela Camargo Miaw

Farewell letter to my significant other

I want to start this saying that I do not blame you or hate you nor have hard feelings towards you. I will talk to you with love. I'm not your enemy. None of this is your fault. You deserve the peace and tranquility to know you did a lot of good things and I don't want to fight. I don't want this to turn into a bitter farewell.  
 
You've lit my way through the darkest days, you've been a key part in my happiness, motivation and life project.  
 
I know you never meant to hurt me, and I never meant to hurt you but both of us have been through a lot together and individually, we crashed. We both were dealing with our demons and woes. We were victims of our own choices. Despite that, we both tried to look after each other's wellness and to make things work.
 
There are many things that we could overcome together,  and some others that we still need to work on by ourselves. I agree that it's a good idea to not be together for now. I've thought about this and we can wreck the future by not fixing the present.  
 
I also know that you're not ready. And I know that you're scared. What I'll tell you is that I'm not giving up on you just yet because I believe in you, I believe in us as long as we love each other. And loving also means knowing how to wait, loving means taking time to heal before walking away.  
 
I've seen the side of you that you're afraid to let out and it's marvelous. I know you can get through this and I'd really like to see you sharing with the world the best version of yourself because I know you have a lot to offer and you have what it takes to rise and succeed.
 
I'll say it definitely caught me by surprise but at the same time it was seen coming. It would have been easier if you hurt me because I could've blamed you but I don't because I understand where you're at at this moment. You have a battle you need to fight on your own. You have to stop running away from yourself and it's hard, I can tell because I've been there. But you'll be alright. I'll be alright.
 
I admire you, I've always said that. And it takes a lot of courage to give the step you gave.  You have all my respect and support.
 
I'm still firm with my goals and aspirations. I'm still pursuing success and self realization for my future and I'd love if you become a part of it, but if not I'll still achieve it.
 
If "forever and ever and a day" allows it, maybe there is a time and place for us, maybe there is a future waiting for us but today is not the day. Let's not make any decisions for now. Forever and ever and a day is so much time and it's a long path that won't always be perfect, it will be full of challenges and complications and this may be a part of that path. Or maybe our "forever and ever and a day" takes a different direction in which we may or may not meet again.  
 
I keep the best of us and cherish our time together. I want you to know that besides this separation, you are not alone. I'm with you in every step you take and in the moment you're ready, if life decides so, I'll come back to you to pick up where we left off the life project we started together.  And if our paths do not meet again, I'll remember you with peace, joy and a very special love, forever and ever and a day.
 
I love you, forever and ever and a day.  
 
-Gabriela  
Written by GabyCamargoMiaw (Gabriela Camargo Miaw)
Help
Hi! I could use some help with my last submission, it is not a poem, it's a letter I wrote for a farewell to my significant other, we split yesterday and I'll fly on Monday to pick up my stuff and say goodbye. I wrote this to give him but I'd like to hear some opinions. Thank you!

Link is here https://go.shr.lc/3CLYh9i
 1
Edited 27th July 5:14pm
RichardJ

A simple Sonnet I want to run by any in the know for helpful input before posting.
poetry 5101
~ A Brand New Start ~

Oh, come thee joyful to these waiting arms,
embrace my soul within your glory's grace.
Fill me, my love, with all your sweetest charms.
Spread wide this gentle smile across my face.

I'd spent a life in hopeful search to find
what heaven's brought together from above;
the ones who truly fit with warmth in-kind,
and never have you gone back on your love.

Yet, 'pon us do these miracles decree
that you and I shall ever come to know,
from far across love's deep, alluring sea ...
where life has led and means for us to go.

Ne'er beat like this before - my old, worn heart,
until fate gifted us ~ a brand-new start.


 4
Edited 22nd July 4:21am
living_curious

You Strike Happiness in Me
Nah
 1
8th May 2:51pm
SLYMBEKQUEEN BLAZE-QUEEN

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND
PLEASE KEEP I MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND MOMMY THAT U LET HIM INTO MY WORLD
HIS FINGERS VIOLATED ME...
HIS BREATH HAUNTED ME...
CRAWLING TO MY BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I LET HIM TOUCH ME WITHOUT A FIGHT
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I HAD A TWIN AND A BABY SIS TWO YEARS YOUNGER
MAYBE IF I LET HIM IT WILL CEASE HIS HUNGER
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
WHERE WERE U DADDY
DOING DRUGS WITH FRIENDS IN THE CADDY
SCREAMING INSIDE HELP ME DADDY
HELP ME MOMMY
BUT U DONT SEE WHAT HE'S DOING TO ME
HE STOLE MY HONOR AND INNOCENCE
AND TODAY I HAVE JOB TO CONVINCE
THAT WHAT HAPPEND WHEN I WAS SIX
WAS HIS FAULT NOT MINE
MOMMY DID U NOT SEE THE BLOOD IN MY KNICKS
IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME
AND IN MY MIND I WAS HOPING
THAT MY TWO SISTERS WERE COPING
AS I WAS DROWNING
IN THE SALIVA OF A SICK PERVERT
NOW I WAS THE DIRT
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX BUT U SAY I WAS THE FLIRT
HE WAS SUPPOSE TO PROTECT ME
U WERENT SUPPOSE TO NEGLECT ME
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX TRYNG TO BE A MOM OF TWO
U SAY HE DIED
THEN U SAY I LIED
HIS DEATH WILL NEVER BRING ME JUSTICE
WHAT HE DID TO ME WAS LUSTROUS
AND IM NO GOD SO DONT EXPECT ANY MERCY
I HOPE UR PAIN WAS AS BAD AS MINE
SMILING AT ME ALL THE TIME
I HOPE U CHOKED IN UR BLOOD
FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT U RUBBED
UR DICK AT MY EXPENSE
KARMA IS A BITCH BABY AND SHE TOOK REVENGE

PS: I HOPE THE DEVIL RAPES U ON THE DAILY


 3
8th May 2:51pm
SLYMBEKQUEEN BLAZE-QUEEN

YEAH
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND
PLEASE KEEP I MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND MOMMY THAT U LET HIM INTO MY WORLD
HIS FINGERS VIOLATED ME...
HIS BREATH HAUNTED ME...
CRAWLING TO MY BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
I LET HIM TOUCH ME WITHOUT A FIGHT
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I HAD A TWIN AND A BABY SIS TWO YEARS YOUNGER
MAYBE IF I LET HIM IT WILL CEASE HIS HUNGER
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IM A SIX YEAR OLD GIRL
WHERE WERE U DADDY
DOING DRUGS WITH FRIENDS IN THE CADDY
SCREAMING INSIDE HELP ME DADDY
HELP ME MOMMY
BUT U DONT SEE WHAT HE'S DOING TO ME
HE STOLE MY HONOR AND INNOCENCE
AND TODAY I HAVE JOB TO CONVINCE
THAT WHAT HAPPEND WHEN I WAS SIX
WAS HIS FAULT NOT MINE
MOMMY DID U NOT SEE THE BLOOD IN MY KNICKS
IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME
AND IN MY MIND I WAS HOPING
THAT MY TWO SISTERS WERE COPING
AS I WAS DROWNING
IN THE SALIVA OF A SICK PERVERT
NOW I WAS THE DIRT
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX BUT U SAY I WAS THE FLIRT
HE WAS SUPPOSE TO PROTECT ME
U WERENT SUPPOSE TO NEGLECT ME
KEEP IN MIND I WAS SIX TRYNG TO BE A MOM OF TWO
U SAY HE DIED
THEN U SAY I LIED
HIS DEATH WILL NEVER BRING ME JUSTICE
WHAT HE DID TO ME WAS LUSTROUS
AND IM NO GOD SO DONT EXPECT ANY MERCY
I HOPE UR PAIN WAS AS BAD AS MINE
SMILING AT ME ALL THE TIME
I HOPE U CHOKED IN UR BLOOD
FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT U RUBBED
UR DICK AT MY EXPENSE
KARMA IS A BITCH BABY AND SHE TOOK REVENGE

PS: I HOPE THE DEVIL RAPES U ON THE DAILY


 2
5th May 8:43am
SLYMBEKQUEEN BLAZE-QUEEN

SO IF IT SAYS DRAFT DOES IT MEAN THE POEM IS POSTED
 3