First, I want to comment on the message of the poem. It's an uplifting one of hope despite circumstance. I enjoyed and related to the essence. While I'm just an apprentice / protégé / starry-eyed word whore / whatever under Johnny, I'd like to suggest the following to tighten it up a bit.
Dear heart fear not the mud pies
second-hand clothes taxes or indifference.....
The first thing I'd suggest is a comma after heart for emphasis. Also, I'm uncertain if "mud pies" refers to childhood or a reference to mud slinging by others. It could actually work as both; however, there needs to be a comma after clothes, and I would suggest moving "or" to the last line, and remove the ellipses so it reads as thus:
Dear heart, fear not
the mud pies
second-hand clothes, taxes
Lastly, the jump between mud pies / second hand clothes to taxes / indifference seems one of a bridged nature between youth / aging. I found this most intriguing and quite unique in expression.
Tattered dreams and misguided emotions are but a frame of mind
and nothing really matters but the thickness ( ? ) of what you feel now.
Somehow I don't feel "thickness" is the right word here. I understand what you're attempting to convey; however, it's not flowing with the essence of the stanza or poem as a whole. What other word could you use to describe the density of feeling you're attempting to express?
all part of an illusion/
inside this vast universe we
all call home ( < cliche alert? How could you express this in a more unique way? In a Zazzle's signature? )
the unknown is the only thing we
all know for sure .....
I eliminated some excess wordage, especially the ending, as the ellipses seemed out of sorts with a "know for sure". I contemplated removing 'for sure' also, as I think it works without it; however, could also work with it. It's one of those either / or phrases ( imho ).
There are no rules
, not really...;
I honestly felt the latter part of the sentence contradicted the former, and added a semi to link it to the next one.
but a stump of everlasting confusion...
sinking into the road
This really jumped out like a sore thumb regarding the imagery clashing with the meaning, or intent thereof. Think about it for a moment ... do stumps sink into roads? This stumps ( no pun intended ) the reader's relation to the meaning somewhat.
What you're attempting to say is spot on for the Poem ... but how you're trying to say it clashes and interrupts the flow. Come on, Zazz! You got this!
What we know and
what we feel need s no answers we need no nor audience for validation
we already know deep inside
I almost struck 'already' too, only because I feel it works without it. Also, you've used 'know' twice, so I'd suggest a revision of the last line, perhaps something like "we're aware deep inside".
No second guesses
needed our Truth is in our DNA
You used a variation of 'need' three times, which is why I suggest eliminating two. Also, the ellipses seemed to trail thoughts that I wanted to end before reaching the next line or verse. While ellipses can be a powerful tool leaving the reader with a sense of contemplation or continuation, I don't feel they're warranted here because you're addressing someone directly.
Imagine talking to your child, where pauses are emphasized by breaks in speech vs trailing ellipses.
Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the essence of this and agree with its philosophy. Truth does reside in our DNA and we innately know there is more to what is known.
Please understand the above suggestions are merely that, suggestions that can be taken with a grain of salt. I'm sure Johnny, being much more versed than I, may have additional suggestions.
Zazzles, thank you for the opportunity to critique your submission.