Thank you for the honor of critiquing your poem, Exquisitely Chaotic One.
edges curled in mascara'd black
ending half-circled before complete
I LOVE THIS SUGGESTION AND WILL DEFINITELY MAKE THE CHANGE! THANK YOU!
My context for:
the color of envy has turned to mud
each chatter in westerly breeze
* the green once on the flowers had browned
because of them dying...just as we were envied
by others and now we are no more
* the chatter - YES! when the dried leaves are
rubbing against each other. I considered them
"him" trying to speak to me and those are the whispers
I try to translate in the next stanza...they are low
toned, not the higher pitch of crickets but I don't know
how to keep it there/write it any other way. I like the
idea of the mating song/ritual but I don't connect with the
crickets, lol. I will gladly take another suggestion
Thank you so very much for critiquing my write! I look
forward to your reply!