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~ Critique Series ~

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Ahavati
Guardian of Shadows
United States
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Poetryman said:Her critique was a picayune diatribe that started off complaining that capitalizing the first word of every line was wrong. Then it just degenerated in opposing opinions on every line.

What ARE you talking about? I never ONCE referred to her capitalization in my critique.

I suppose I should thank you though, your demand that I change my response led me to write the poem "Comment Only if You are Afraid", which pretty much sums it all up for me.

Again, what ARE you talking about? Where did I "demand" you change your response? What planet am I on? Someone beam me back up!

As far as my reference to you, I was referring to your criticism of the content of my character in your comments on my poem "Planting Dandelions", as you were not critiquing the poem, but you were criticizing my beliefs.

First, you are correct in that I didn't critique that poem; however, nor was I criticizing your beliefs. I merely commented on your poem based on what I thought and a debate ensued over misconception.  Apparently, you don't know the difference between critiquing and commenting. I don't criticize people's beliefs because I am a bit of ALL beliefs.

I Was reminded of this in your criticism of Taryn's other previous erotic poems. Rather than being a critique of this poem, you turned it into an attack on all of her poems. It makes you seem like a bully because people have to be afraid you will reprimand them if they disagree with you.

I wasn't criticizing nor "attacking" (sheeesh) Taryn's previous erotic poems. I merely referred to her erotic style as being uniform, as was demonstrated in the poem I critiqued. How you perceive me is how you perceive me. But personal perception isn't universal truth, yours nor mine.

Lastly, I don't think a bully would designate 2.5 hours of their time (longer actually with the reads and contemplation) to assist someone who has requested it. I think a bully would just tell someone to "Fuck off!" for saying something they don't agree with, JJ.



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Poetryman
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I said "her", not "your".  
There were two different poems.
"Planting Dandelions" and " Grand Scales"

[-- link removed --]

[-- link removed --]

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Ahavati
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Okay, uh, no. You're drawing attention to yourself and your poems vs. the topic, which is a critique thread, and a discussion regarding my critique on Taryn's poem. That is why I was confused. I was on topic. Silly me. Therefore, I am giving you enough time to read this before I delete your comment and reference because it's not on topic. If you would like to post either of those poems here for HONEST CRITIQUE I will be happy, when I have time, to respond. Or Johnny will.

And THEN we can discuss.


EDIT: I disabled the links so I won't have to hide the comments but please stay on topic.

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Poetryman
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No, I was not trying to draw attention to my poems. I get plenty of attention every time I post a poem. I included those links for YOUR benefit because you kept asking me what I was talking about. I did not want to copy and paste everything that was said in those posts here. You seemed confused and I simply wanted to simplify my response with easy to click links where YOU could go to refresh your memory.  


Ahavati said:Okay, uh, no. You're drawing attention to yourself and your poems vs. the topic, which is a critique thread, and a discussion regarding my critique on Taryn's poem. That is why I was confused. I was on topic. Silly me. Therefore, I am giving you enough time to read this before I delete your comment and reference because it's not on topic. If you would like to post either of those poems here for HONEST CRITIQUE I will be happy, when I have time, to respond. Or Johnny will.

And THEN we can discuss.


EDIT: I disabled the links so I won't have to hide the comments.

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Ahavati
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Poetryman said:No, I was not trying to draw attention to my poems. I get plenty of attention every time I post a poem. I included those links for YOUR benefit because you kept asking me what I was talking about. I did not want to copy and paste everything that was said in those posts here. You seemed confused and I simply wanted to simplify my response with easy to click links where YOU could go to refresh your memory.  


Thank you for being so considerate, but I don't need a memory refresher. My confusion stemmed from focusing on the TOPIC at hand. While yours seemed to want to rehash an old beef I have no interest in revisiting. I said what I had to say back then.

Again, thank you. Taryn. I will address you at my earliest convenience. Thank you for your patience.

xo

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HowlingWhelms
Noire
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Ok, I have only a few words, sweetie...I know you
ask me because of the brains we happen to be
bless'd with...

BUT.. I think you're underestimating youeself
sis,

DO NOT EVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF,
leave that to the business of others. OK?

Now, I happen to be the opposite... .I have literal
tantrums because I want my words to come out
in straight funky sexy lines.. but Noooo, oh no..
.although there are too many underlying reasons
behind that malfunctioning part of me

Now, you on the other hand, Ha! guurrl I think you
got this... .it takes time and many slow deep breaths,
..eventually you will open sesame  ;)

You are a great poetess or writer, whichever you prefer.. .
I know how your mind races .. and it's ok... PLUS
keep in mind, it is possible that how you write is your
curse/blessing.. be you as climb or it will not be felt
or it will not make sense.. Keep doing your thing and
build as you grow with each URGE.. .become the
words you (will encompass..) what feels good..

PS.. I am not a good critiquer on words, can only feel
what flows through from one into me..

Peeking through fingers, covering my cringing face.


poet
Ahavati
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HowlingWhelms said:Ok, I have only a few words, sweetie...I know you
ask me because of the brains we happen to be
bless'd with...

BUT.. I think you're underestimating youeself
sis,

DO NOT EVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF,
leave that to the business of others. OK?
[...]


Thank you.

Also, thank you for your participation in the critique series. While we may initially feel inadequate giving critique (or fear getting our heads bitten off), it also serves as a catalyst to improve our own work by training our critical eye.


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JohnnyBlaze
Johnny Blaze
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HowlingWhelms said:

Peeking through fingers, covering my cringing face.



* DOINK pokes Whelms in the eyes Three Stooges style *


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HowlingWhelms
Noire
Dangerous Mind
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JohnnyBlaze said:

* DOINK pokes Whelms in the eyes Three Stooges style *




Sets "JohnnyBlaze" eyes afire -wildfire style  ;)

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JohnnyBlaze
Johnny Blaze
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It always helps to have several Critiquers examining a single poem.

This provides a writer with an understanding via a general consensus that elements of a poem under review are productive or counterproductive.

4 out of 5 poets agree that this poem prevents tooth decay.

Or something like that.

Unfortunately, there is a dire shortage of critiquers here at DUP. Hence the reason why this series on critique is being held to begin with.


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Ahavati
Guardian of Shadows
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JohnnyBlaze said:It always helps to have several Critiquers examining a single poem.

This provides a writer with an understanding via a general consensus that elements of a poem under review are productive or counterproductive.

4 out of 5 poets agree that this poem prevents tooth decay.

Or something like that.

Unfortunately, there is a dire shortage of critiquers here at DUP. Hence the reason why this series on critique is being held to begin with.



Agreed. It's fun too. I just feel its awkward to request friends to critique when they're uncomfortable with such (feel free to correct me on that). Though, its exciting to see them want to jump in and learn (if indeed that's their desire).  

Bring it.

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TheGoddessMinerva
Minerva Grace
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I know this is sort of winding down, and I haven't really been involved, but I would be willing to help critique pieces if someone specifically asks for it. I rarely critique, even when the posted poem asks for it, simply because I don't really know how a person will handle it.

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JohnnyBlaze
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TheGoddessMinerva said:I know this is sort of winding down, and I haven't really been involved, but I would be willing to help critique pieces if someone specifically asks for it. I rarely critique, even when the posted poem asks for it, simply because I don't really know how a person will handle it.

I would say that everyone that has volunteered a poem so far has handled being critiques very well. I'm sure each would welcome input from someone other than Johnny Blaze or Ahavati.

Psycotic Mastermind doesn't really count because ..... well ..... as much as he doesn't like to admit it, we are the same person.

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Ahavati
Guardian of Shadows
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TheGoddessMinerva said:I know this is sort of winding down, and I haven't really been involved, but I would be willing to help critique pieces if someone specifically asks for it. I rarely critique, even when the posted poem asks for it, simply because I don't really know how a person will handle it.

Woot! I was hoping you'd hop in after your comment this morning. The thread is ongoing so you're not too late for the party, just fashionably.

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TheGoddessMinerva
Minerva Grace
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Johnny, you had suggested several critiquers critiquing each piece. would it be helpful to now go back through this thread and critique these and post them here?

Poets, would you like another critique of the posted pieces?

or are we now to the point where this series is winding down and i should move on to other pieces? i don't want to interject myself into something that is about to go away. :)

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