Please help me figure out why this didn't work out. I had a good idea, but this is not it. Tear it apart. It's not written well at all. Any help would be appreciated. http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/239727-the-path-i-chose/
The path I chose
My face is laying in the dirt.
So many paths I see.Picking one will not be easy for me.
I look around to tangled twines, from hip to feet. They've engulfed me. This reeks of something I would do.
Time to find the strength in me,to admit the binds I allowed to bury me.
I will learn to wiggle free, squirm like the worm, right by my face. Holy shit I dug this deep?
I will find my first twine to beat.
I believe it's the one strangling my feet.
Twist and squirm, like the worm on my face.
There I go ,feel the burn.The pain can't matter, this I've earned .
Like the spoiled bitch ,I've been before. It's about time, wicked whore.
Every twine I have tangled , is nothing to the hearts I tore.
It shit on me, that fucking worm.
I guess it knows whose face it's on.
There I go,a leg set free
Oozing blood, my leg now sheds.
Release your hips. This will hurt.
I am a cunt, for those I burnt.
I know, I know, I didn't see.
How hurt they'd be,as they watched me go.
Just my style to squirm again.
How taste that dirt. As I try to free, hips and a leg, engulfed in vines.
Don't give up, I am a fighter bitch.
Paying the price, for all I chose.
Twist and squirm, and squirm and twist. Use your hands,know there I go.
I scream out, ripping muscle and bones.
Discipline, you muddy twit.
Dig the digs,torn muscle and skin.
The more you groan, the tangled twine. It starting to listen, it's giving in.Rip it free, let it go.
As you stand there naked, bleeding and torn.
Look ahead to those paths you've seen. Time to choose your path once more.
Hmmm, what to choose. The one I've known. With perfect pebble stones. Where anyone can indulge themselves. Where loves a given for anyone. Where name nor stature, need not matter.
I will change this path I know.
I've chose the path of thorns for me,
with all it's shame and drudgery.