Page:
Prose critique: excerpt from my novel (DARK)
Madbuttonhatter
Ryan R Morgan
Forum Posts: 44
Ryan R Morgan
Twisted Dreamer
1
Joined 19th Apr 2018Forum Posts: 44
Justafan18
Justafan
Joined 13th Apr 2018
Forum Posts: 9
Justafan
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 9
Before I comment, I think you should know I have no degree of any kind. I just know what I like.
This is very descriptive and pulls you in until the word “obfuscate”. Then the trip you were taking me on broke away because my mind left the story to wonder what in the world that meant!
I’ve always been told to try to keep the reader in the story with you.
Again, I’m no expert!
I read 3 times and the first time the thread broke. The second time it was more cohesive and the third time I stayed in the spell you had created!
I like very much what I read.
Always
Justafan
This is very descriptive and pulls you in until the word “obfuscate”. Then the trip you were taking me on broke away because my mind left the story to wonder what in the world that meant!
I’ve always been told to try to keep the reader in the story with you.
Again, I’m no expert!
I read 3 times and the first time the thread broke. The second time it was more cohesive and the third time I stayed in the spell you had created!
I like very much what I read.
Always
Justafan