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a new work in progress...

poet
SocietiesDeadPoet
Strange Creature
United States
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Joined 3rd Mar 2018
Forum Posts: 1

i never had a lot of money, but i was once the richest man.
on those days they'd come running to me just to say i love you dad.
But don't be like me and become a foolish man,
and never take for granted the love your family has.
because my house is now empty, and i'm pretty much all alone,
i would be happy just to hear them on the phone...
michael John winkelsas

poet
WhatIf
Strange Creature
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Joined 11th Jan 2019
Forum Posts: 2

This poem has a lot of potential. There are obviously a lot of feelings hidden in it. Maybe try to tap into it. Make the reader feel it the way you do. I can see the love and gratefulness, turn into loneliness and longing. use those to paint a more vibrant picture.

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