Vents, Rants and Observations

Thought a place to post vents or rants about everyday life would be good for a few reasons, it gets it off your chest and could provide inspiration for others to write about.
There was a newspaper I used to read, it had a section that allowed folks to vent. Some of the vents, while on point, were hilariously entertaining and enlightening as well.

So jump in and pitch a lil fit, let it rip on traffic, the boss, people in general, holidays or how your significant other can't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom.
Be funny, be angry, be honest.
Whatever rocks your willy, get loose with it!

They tell me I need to have a more open mind,

Yet they condemn themselves by not having an open enough mind to allow me my beliefs.

Because mine don't agree with theirs, I'm the one that needs to be more opeminded?

Sounds legit.

this: "my blah blah blah " at the start of pm's and comments. please, for the love of baby Jesus ..STOP !! when did people start owning people. some people have three or four owners PLUS own three or four people ..wtf :), I don't own nobody. did once

anyway, it reads fake as fuck. ruins everything

thank you, have a nice evening. you're all beautiful

I may come back to this; still building up steam for a vent. Also it may well be bloody long, so its a heads up and to check that is acceptable.

Anything goes as far as the site allows. Let er rip!

On The Road by Jack Kerouac is bad, sentimental and loveless.

I build a house,
It 's a beautiful house,

I go to the store
to buy some flour

When I come back
There 's a note on the wall

Said I could not come back in
until a later date

When they let me  in,
I tried to make pancakes

They said I must stop
I was only allowed to make English Muffins.
I don't mind English muffin,
but sometimes, I like variety,

so I cooked them anyways
when word came back

"English Muffins Only"
"No more PANCAKES"

But, but it was MY house.

Was I say, because a new name was put on the title.
Somebody elses house rules were on the refrigerator.

You can understand why I grabbed my tent and....
"You are not allowed to take your tent"

This is going to be harder than I thought.
A talking House, with automatic locks.

So I slept and I slept and when I awoke,
all was normal.  
I made English muffins,
I watched Monty Python,
and ONLY monty python, as per the rules
now etched, keyed into the fridge door.

I am not one to complain
But please understand why I had to break the gas line
in the house whilst the fireplace flickered in the Den.

I loved my house.  I made my way to the bathroom,
and closed the door.  I waited.  The house was flapping
automatically operated doors, ventilation fans were coming on,
a horde of handymen under mind control were autodialed,
and the lock on the bathroom door sizzled and popped.

I had begun by locking myself in, but now the mechanism had welded itself shut.
I ripped loose the bathroom sink, and the toilet, placing the toilet on top of the sink,
high enough to reach the plastic skylight, and began beating on the plastic.
Nothing.
Think, man, think!
A mind control handyman was making his way up the one lane winding driveway,
an idyllic scene that masked the evil approaching.
using the commode as a weapon, I hurled it 17 times against the bathroom door to no avail, but
I missed and made a hole in the drywall, revealing a previously unknown passageway between walls.
I was able to squeeze thru.   Making my way into an 18th century cellar, filled with dusty wine bottles,
I made my way by light of my cell phone until I came upon a candle wherupon I left my phone as a decoy and proceeded to light the candle with my cigarette lighter, thinking to myself I was fortunate to be a smoker in this instance.    Several minutes later, I hear some collapse, some calamity behind me, where I had left my phone, and I then knew I was dealing with some digital living force.
The handyman had already entered.   I waited motionless.
Listen to him methodically slug his box of tools over to the broken gas line.  In a few minutes, I could tell he had shut off the line.
His job was not quite done, as he made his way to the bathroom, to stanch the flow of water from the broken sink.

Then all was quiet
Other than the faint rustle of somebody else, down in this celler

This mysterious cellar that I had not known even existed in my own house.

Scheduled to work today, I have no car,  its snowing and if I could get to work I couldn't get home...  Have a 15 year old that will get out of school and I run the risk of him being stuck overnight without me due to the weather... Boss still thinks that bitching will do them any good