Terrible Foreplay
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Forum Posts: 5564
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
31
Joined 10th Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 5564
Slightly inspired by NeverMindTheGap’s poem title “I Was Told Australian’s Suck At Foreplay” and just because sometimes a laugh is needed…
What is the worst chat up line / flirt / come on you’ve ever heard? Any funny stories?
My absolute all time favourite was I once heard “hey baby… I wanna make you drip like a knackered fridge”
👀🤣
What is the worst chat up line / flirt / come on you’ve ever heard? Any funny stories?
My absolute all time favourite was I once heard “hey baby… I wanna make you drip like a knackered fridge”
👀🤣
_feral
Forum Posts: 839
Fire of Insight
11
Joined 23rd Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 839
i've had quite a few specialist instagram dm's over the years
there was one fella who messaged me saying "i wouldn't mind you wrecking my trunk"
bold of him to assume i have junk going on 🤦🏻♂️🤣👀
#realtea
there was one fella who messaged me saying "i wouldn't mind you wrecking my trunk"
bold of him to assume i have junk going on 🤦🏻♂️🤣👀
#realtea
Betty
Forum Posts: 422
Dangerous Mind
17
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 422
“You must be my big toe, because I feel like I’m about to bang you on the coffee table.”
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Forum Posts: 5564
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
31
Joined 10th Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 5564
_feral said:i've had quite a few specialist instagram dm's over the years
there was one fella who messaged me saying "i wouldn't mind you wrecking my trunk"
bold of him to assume i have junk going on 🤦🏻♂️🤣👀
#realtea
Perfect opportunity to out-weird somebody.
You like junk? Alright treasure… wait until you see the 16 broken washing machines I’m about to dump on your lawn. I hope you’ve got the number for the council ready because it’s gonna be a TIP. 🤣🤣
there was one fella who messaged me saying "i wouldn't mind you wrecking my trunk"
bold of him to assume i have junk going on 🤦🏻♂️🤣👀
#realtea
Perfect opportunity to out-weird somebody.
You like junk? Alright treasure… wait until you see the 16 broken washing machines I’m about to dump on your lawn. I hope you’ve got the number for the council ready because it’s gonna be a TIP. 🤣🤣
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Forum Posts: 5564
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
31
Joined 10th Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 5564
Anonymous
Thinking myself cool & hip, decided to serenade a Glasweigan lass with the B-52's. Bearing in mind, I had a wee problem with saying my r's properly. And the chosen song? 'Roam'. Maybe out of pity, she....
Betty
Forum Posts: 422
Dangerous Mind
17
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 422
Carpe_Noctem
Forum Posts: 2915
Tyrant of Words
8
Joined 3rd Mar 2013Forum Posts: 2915
I Brazilian wax poetic
Jimmy pop is my maestro
Who wants a
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo?
Jimmy pop is my maestro
Who wants a
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo?
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Forum Posts: 5564
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
31
Joined 10th Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 5564
Anonymous
Northern_Soul said:
The oldies are always the best 😂
I had a guy at work once who asked me to help him escape a date because she smelled (and I quote) like beef dripping.
That’s it England. Keep it classy. 🤣
Not sure wether I should be hungry,
Or aroused…
Which leads into….
I believe you are what you eat,
and I want to be you tomorrow
I’m sure if you got the inflection creepy enough they’d think you were Jeffrey Dahmer
The oldies are always the best 😂
I had a guy at work once who asked me to help him escape a date because she smelled (and I quote) like beef dripping.
That’s it England. Keep it classy. 🤣
Not sure wether I should be hungry,
Or aroused…
Which leads into….
I believe you are what you eat,
and I want to be you tomorrow
I’m sure if you got the inflection creepy enough they’d think you were Jeffrey Dahmer
Betty
Forum Posts: 422
Dangerous Mind
17
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 422
Nevermindthegaps said:
Not sure wether I should be hungry,
Or aroused…
Which leads into….
I believe you are what you eat,
and I want to be you tomorrow
I’m sure if you got the inflection creepy enough they’d think you were Jeffrey Dahmer
Shit, I laughed at that too.
Truth: guy in a bar holds up two fingers and said “you know why you should get off on these two fingers?”
(Head shake)
“Because they’re mine”
He must have been 90 and I bought him a beer. Best pickup line ever from a dirty old man.
Not sure wether I should be hungry,
Or aroused…
Which leads into….
I believe you are what you eat,
and I want to be you tomorrow
I’m sure if you got the inflection creepy enough they’d think you were Jeffrey Dahmer
Shit, I laughed at that too.
Truth: guy in a bar holds up two fingers and said “you know why you should get off on these two fingers?”
(Head shake)
“Because they’re mine”
He must have been 90 and I bought him a beer. Best pickup line ever from a dirty old man.
Anonymous
Betty said:
Shit, I laughed at that too.
Truth: guy in a bar holds up two fingers and said “you know why you should get off on these two fingers?”
(Head shake)
“Because they’re mine”
He must have been 90 and I bought him a beer. Best pickup line ever from a dirty old man.
Looking at my hand currently two would probably split you in half
#hunglikeabrokenhand
Shit, I laughed at that too.
Truth: guy in a bar holds up two fingers and said “you know why you should get off on these two fingers?”
(Head shake)
“Because they’re mine”
He must have been 90 and I bought him a beer. Best pickup line ever from a dirty old man.
Looking at my hand currently two would probably split you in half
#hunglikeabrokenhand
Betty
Forum Posts: 422
Dangerous Mind
17
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 422
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Forum Posts: 5564
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
31
Joined 10th Jan 2021 Forum Posts: 5564
Anonymous
Betty said:
Omg you have said some unfunny shit, but that is the unfunniest.
Another terrible one:
I can see you making me breakfast in the morning.
(No lead in. Weak game. Also factually inaccurate.)
Well I was following the themes of the thread, as to breakfast
How do you like your eggs, fertilised or unfertilised
Omg you have said some unfunny shit, but that is the unfunniest.
Another terrible one:
I can see you making me breakfast in the morning.
(No lead in. Weak game. Also factually inaccurate.)
Well I was following the themes of the thread, as to breakfast
How do you like your eggs, fertilised or unfertilised