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Pride Month Thread

Northern_Soul
Northern_Soul
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Whaddup DU...

Itís Pride month!

To celebrate I thought it would be grand to have a thread to talk about all things LGBTQIA+

Got a story to share?
An inspiration?
A meme?
A question to ask?
Information to share?
A bit of good olí fashioned banter?

This thread is for you!

Please note there is also a pride month comp running for the month which can be found here:
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/11937/#535505

Northern_Soul
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#TheGayAgenda

Northern_Soul
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So... Iíll start.

I was brought up in a fundamentalist Baptist household and was always taught that Gay people were basically, evil. So when I started realising I was attracted to not just women, but everybody at about age 12... well... that put me in a bit of an emotional pickle.

I kept it a secret for years, and never told a soul. In fact I secretly hoped it would go away, but it obviously didnít.

By my early twenties I began experimenting with my sexuality, having a mix of girlfriends and boyfriends, thinking I was bisexual. And then I realised that the sex of a person just wasnít important to me at all... it was people I was attracted to. So I guess I now happily fall into the pansexual category. Though I donít like to box myself in too much.

A member of my immediate family came out as Transgender a few years ago now and having gone through that incredible journey with them also I have nothing but immense pride and respect for the community. Itís a brave thing to dare to live as yourself.

Love is love - regardless of how you define it.

Pride is important to me because not only is it a matter of huge importance to share your experiences with others and celebrate love, but itís important for other people to hear that they are not alone ó that they matter and they are seen and heard.

Hopefully a little bit of that here can only be a good thing 😊

_feral
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i come from a split background, my fathers side hailed from romany gypsy roots and my mothers side hails from irish traveller roots, so my experiences in the LGBT+ community were all self taught as I had no family to confide in about my sexuality and gender as they have never been accepting of it.

i always knew since around the age of 10 i wasn't female, i very much had no interest in anything that was remotely feminime throughout my childhood and teenage years, this resulted in very early experimenting in terms of sexuality and gender by the time i was 13, i began wearing masculine clothes, started binding unsafely due to not being able to gain access to safe binders, only confiding in my close knit circle of friends (whom i like to call my chosen family) who have also been in the same predicaments as myself and worrying about "shaming the gypsy community" and "family ties".

i came out as pansexual in my late teens because gender was never important to me, I have dated men, women and folks who belong to the trans community, later on i came out as a transman by the time i was 22 much to my family's disappointment because in their eyes that's an abomination and has resulted in backlash in many ways.

regardless of the journey i don't look back with any regrets because it's made me the person i am today and it's probably why i'm so passionate on speaking my truth regarding the community i grew up with and accepted me for who i am, i'm also a moderator on 4 facebook groups in the transgender community and helping others come to terms with themselves no matter their age, background and experience, just because nobody had my back throughout my journey, doesn't mean i cannot have other people's back whether they're going through the same thing or not.

pride isn't just a community, it's a family, love is love regardless where you have come from, we welcome others with open arms whether you belong or support us as an ally.
🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

on that note:

life is too short not to be fabulous, so celebrate your inner rainbow and fly around like a unicorn and fuck whoever's watching 🤘🏻🦄 🌈

-tranpa

The_Silly_Sibyl
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My two cents for Pride Month:

When I was a kid I resented the idea of coming out and Pride because internalised homophobia made me see it as attention-seeking. Without realising it I bought into the whole ďthereís no Straight Pride Month!Ē bullshit and associated out-and-proud gay people with preening, self-absorbed crybabies, like how Roseanne Barr once described gay men as fundamentally selfish. It also didnít help that my father was massively homophobic. Heís improved a bit in general attitude, but it was a long road.

What helped me broaden my perspective a little bit was, perhaps obviously, literature. Thereís a short story in Truman Capoteís Music for Chameleons thatís always stuck with me, about a little boy who dreams of being a little girl, and carries the shame of that so deeply that he drifts away from his grandmother, the person who loved him most. She dies with his picture in her hand and he receives a call from a relative telling him that, as well as how wicked he is for having abandoned her, and all the time he canít say that it was because of this thing which society dictated was wrong. I can still get emotional just thinking about that story.

Thereís a great line in the movie Capote, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as the writer at the time when he was researching In Cold Blood: ďEver since I was a child, folks have thought they had me pegged, because of the way I am, the way I talk. And they're always wrong.Ē Capote was a very flamboyant gay man, an effete sort of modern dandy who thrived in the New York social scene. But he came from the South, a world that was (and frequently still is) hostile to LGBT people.

Heís the closest thing I have to a gay hero precisely because he wasnít a hero. He was ambitious, disloyal, manipulative, addicted to drink and cocaine. But he wrote from a very sincere place and was always forthrightly himself, at a time when many wouldnít have dared to be one tenth as open as he was.

Even now the media tends to view the gay experience in very narrow, sexualised terms. Iíve always felt shame about my relative lack of sexual experience - a combination of shyness, anxiety, and poor body-image - partly because the popular depictions of gay men have been promiscuous Adonises who oil up their abs and get sweaty to techno music in dance clubs. Of course thereís nothing wrong whatsoever with being such a person - in fact I covet thee! - but itís unfortunate that gays in popular culture tend to be only the most photogenic kind. You see this attitude often in gay men themselves, as theyíve internalised the homophobia around them in society, just like I did. Thatís why gay dating profiles stereotypically have such shorthand as ďno fats, no femsĒ and ďstraight-acting gays.Ē

Which is why Iíve always felt that a lot of homophobia (against men, at least) is rooted in misogyny. Femininity is the enemy. When Caesar was said to have had sex with an opposing statesman, the soldiers were more concerned about who played the passive role. Caesar may have conquered him (in battle), they chanted, but he conquered Caesar.

* https://youtu.be/oLPTh_DaPa8

Northern_Soul
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I found your comments really interesting actually, Sibyl.

I think in regards to your comments about body image and how gay men are sometimes portrayed as sleek Adonises is true to some extent. I guess it just goes to show that no area of society escapes judgements about them. Women? Too fat, too thin, too slutty. Men? Not ripped enough, not tall enough, not Ďmaní enough... it goes on and on.

I think what is important is honouring yourself and it probably sounds a bit clichť... but you have to do you. At the end of the day, you donít have to explain yourself to anybody.

Iím a firm believer that thereís somebody out there for everyone. Seriously if some poor cunt out there married me thereís hope for everyone. 😂

Northern_Soul
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Tranpa... ahh, itís what I love about yas.

I think your story however raises a relevant point that not everybody has that support in their life, and some people have to do it on their own. Itís not a bed of roses for everybody and not everybody has a lovely coming out story.

I think thatís why finding other people of a similar mindset is so important. Itís like that saying ó find your tribe and love them fiercely. Because in the end, all we have is those that know us best.

Iím so happy you are wholly yourself 💚

Magdalena
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I believe everyone should be exactly who they are/want to be. Our conditioned world robs people of the freedom to do that. It's so ingrained in society that the judgement and narrowmindedness will always be a big massive stain on peoples lives. It's sad that some are too busy passing judgement on other peoples "sexuality"

My son sat with me a year or so ago, and in so many words, he told me he was unsure or curious of his sexuality. I told him that's fine. He doesn't have to rush into anything with anyone. In his own time, at his own pace, whatever he finds is the right choice for him.

Northern_Soul
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Magdalena said:It's so ingrained in society that the judgement and narrowmindedness will always be a big massive stain on peoples lives. It's sad that some are too busy passing judgement on other peoples "sexuality"

I still find it amazing in this day and age that people give a shit about what other people are doing with their lives. I mean holy fuck... thereís worse things in the world to concern yourself with over a dude kissing another dude. 😂

Sounds like sound advice for your Son

_feral
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Magdalena said:I believe everyone should be exactly who they are/want to be. Our conditioned world robs people of the freedom to do that. It's so ingrained in society that the judgement and narrowmindedness will always be a big massive stain on peoples lives. It's sad that some are too busy passing judgement on other peoples "sexuality"

My son sat with me a year or so ago, and in so many words, he told me he was unsure or curious of his sexuality. I told him that's fine. He doesn't have to rush into anything with anyone. In his own time, at his own pace, whatever he finds is the right choice for him.





it's wonderful to know there's people out there that are accepting and just wholeheartedly want their loved ones to be happy in themselves; regardless all the nonsense and scaremongering that goes on in social media and newspapers trying to fill society with conditioned information, it'd drive anybody round the bloody bend

best mum of the year goes to mags 🏆 😎

The_Silly_Sibyl
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Capoteís Pride

You were short
and scarved, just like a woman living in
a large apartment, west
of Central Park. The cover for
my Penguin Classics copy of
Breakfast at Tiffanyís
depicted you in your armchair,
a shawl around your legs,
a portrait painting of a maiden aunt.

Quite apart from being odd
you were a genius.
Your gift with words
would have made you
a star in ivyís firmament,
a league with men and women who
supplied the worldís canon,
had you lived a hundred years prior
and therefore never graced
a TV studio.

The queen of Ď70s talk shows,
the bitch of Brooklyn Heights,
the queer who rose
above and out of sight,

a bird from out its cage.

You were so
uniquely what you were,
effete, a butterfly,
a dandy with the keenest eye
for cloth and cocktails.

What deep reserves of pain
lay underneath frivolity
are now discussed, and thought about
with more than a dismissive glance.
You showed the truth behind the dance,
the thought behind what others mocked,
the heart inside the storefront dim and locked.

Quite apart from books,
I remember you
because you were so strange,
and human in your self-deceit.
You lied, manipulated, and
lost your place among your friends,
whose secrets crammed between bookends
were sold for one more drink, or line.

You spoke of Answered Prayers,
and how they shouldnít be answered.
But you answered more than you knew,
and comfortingly, too.
Written by The_Silly_Sibyl (Essex Boy)
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This thread inspired me to write this poem.


Northern_Soul
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The_Silly_Sibyl said:This thread inspired me to write this poem.


Thread poetry! Yasssssss! 😊
I think it really reflects what you were saying about Capote. Thank you so much for sharing

Northern_Soul
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💗

The_Silly_Sibyl
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Thank you for sharing that meme, thatís something that I and many others Iím sure didnít consider, that Pride isnít just a performative gesture for those who are ďout.Ē It also exists to communicate with people who canít yet be out, to let them know that they can have pride in themselves.

Northern_Soul
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The_Silly_Sibyl said:Thank you for sharing that meme, thatís something that I and many others Iím sure didnít consider, that Pride isnít just a performative gesture for those who are ďout.Ē It also exists to communicate with people who canít yet be out, to let them know that they can have pride in themselves.

Yep. Everyone at their own pace. In their own time. 🏳️‍🌈

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