The Ditch King of Humbug, on his Smelly Beast high above the battlefield, strategized while the lobbing of bitter, nasty insults continued with increased frequency. Pork taskmasters whipped the NaPo'sers into a frenzy, sending catapulted shot after shot crashing against the walls of Minus Punctual, shattering the stonework into avalanches of debris. And when MOAR!ON's minions ran low on insults . . .
into the city they launched complaining Crabasses! Armed with huge, pinchy pincers, the creatures scuttled about and grabbed onto everything that wasn't bolted down. They tossed about into the air whatever they could while grumbling,
"This sucks! No, this sucks! This really sucks! Your NaPoWriMo will SUCK!"
What brave citadel soldiers remained under the command of Captains Borrowedverse and Fairlyverse fell to their knees, cowering at their stations.
"We'll never defeat them, Sir!" a soldier cried. "We haven't written any fresh poetry in years! What are your orders?"
The brothers flipped through dusty, ancient tomes liberated from the Great Library, searching for the best poems ever written that they could muster. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anything edgy and hardhitting enough to penetrate the armored Crabasses. So many bland and unoriginal verses recycled throughout the years - why? Why?? WHY?? hadn't they challenged themselves more often?!
"I can't believe we volunteered for this!" exclaimed Thetravelingfairy, throwing aside her axe.
"I agree!" said Misfitpoet89. "We'll never be able to make it all the way through to May with so much burden heaped upon our shoulders!"
An enormous tree came crashing down from the mountainside, crushing one of the Crabasses.
It was Treenuts!
"Have courage, little Dwarves," the woodland giant boomed before punting another Crabass over the wall and out of the Citadel. "You are not alone in this war. The Ents have come to fight along side of you this April, even if this is will be our last March!"
RosieGrace squealed and swooned over what a magnificent specimen of wood he was! [ This line is under review for triggering the EXTREME CONTENT WARNING alert ]
Now that a third army had arrive, the citadel soldiers rose to their feet with renewed bravery. The scales had been tipped in their favor!
Well ... until a host of Wallyrogs descended from the sky ... which was cause for many suits of armor to be soiled on this day.
But within moments, the Wallyrogs were swarmed by a myriad of disgruntled Manmoths who were tired of being MOAR!ON's slaves!
"This shall go down in NaPoWriMo history as The Battle of the Five Armies!" exclaimed Gimlroo as he began jotting down ideas for lyrics to carry him through the thirty days of April.
And it was then that a force of Gobnoblins five thousand strong led by Salamandar the White spilled out into the glade to assist the Ditch King.
"Dammit" cursed Gimlyroo. "
Six Armies! For gawdsake. Eraseable ink can't be invented soon enough."
If only it had ended at six . . ..