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Official DU NaPoWriMo 2021 Discussion

JohnnyBlaze
JohnnyBlaze
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EPISODE 8/30

Lady Ahavarwen and Lord Jaragorn approached the ruins of a once great castle carved from sandstone.

"This weathered fortress was home to the Mudbug tribe who fled Muddle Earth when MOAR!ON waged his war," said Ahavarwen. "Shelfin the Great Elfin Yabby refused to live in a realm where only ABAB rhyme scheme was allowed. He instructed his people to construct a huge ark on which they all sailed away across the Mudpuddle Sea. Knowing MOAR!ON despised free form poetry as well as alliteration, especially tongue twisters, his last words as they drifted away from the dock were, She saw sea shells by the seashore. "

Jaragorn stared up at the sandstone tower that the bat creature disappeared into. He drew his sword and rapped it against the front door. To their surprise when it opened, DUGlo Baggins was standing there as fine and happy as can be!

"Greetings, my ffellow Fellowship friends!" the Glowyrm cried. "I'm so happy to see you! And I want you to meet my new acquaintance."

Dumbfounded, they followed the little bugger inside to where a Man in a black hooded mask and cape sat in a recliner. He was nursing a stein of ale. "Tada!" said DUGlo with a grand guesture. "Allow me to introduce ... the Dark Knight!"

The masked man slurped from the stein, hardly acknowledging them.

"THIS ... is the Dark Knight?" Ahavarwen asked incredulously.

"Yep!" DUGlo replied rather proudly. So much that he was beaming. Literally, as light was radiating from him in all directions.

Jaragorn sheathed his sword and scratched his whiskered chin. "DUGlo, are you sure? He seems a bit ... pudgy and out of shape. And why is he wearing a bat costume?"

The masked man leapt to his feet, spilling some ale as he almost fell forward. He took a moment to steady himself as if riding a surfboard. "Hey!" he scowled. "When you get to be a few thousand years old like me, you'll probbly get a bit of a spare tire too. Don't let the junk in this trunk fool you, Mister - I can still shake and bake with the best. Watch this!"

The Bat-Man proceeded to drunkenly swoop around the living room like a child pretending to fly, flapping his cape and spilling more ale.

"Oh, god," Ahavarven said. "I better put on a pot of coffee."

"BAM!" he cried, swinging wildly at the air. "NaPOW!"

"Make it two pots," said the Glowyrm. "Have I a tale to tell you!"

And the four of them sat by a roaring fire as DUGlo relayed the tale of how the Dark Knight first arrived in Muddle Earth. "He fell out of a hole in the sky along with my great great great great great great great grandfather and Keeper of the Sacred Poetry Books, Nice Admirable DUG." The Glowyrm paused for a moment to think. "Or maybe it was Vice Admiral . . .?"

He looked imporingly at the Dark Knight. The costumed Man threw up his hands, saying, "Beats the hell out of me. Last thing I remember is making toast this morning." Then he slugged down more coffee.

"Here!" DUGlo said, flipping through a photo album and pointing. "This is the first DUG of my bloodline with all of the poetry books he brought from beyond the Blank Space. This is how the Earthwyrms discovered so many wonderful forms of poetry that ushered in the Dawn of Literature. That is ... before the dark days of MOAR!ON's reign."

The Dark Knight began sobbing when they came across a photo of the Spiderweb Mistress in the album. "She was so beautiful," he said and sighed heavily. "I was her wittle Batman and she was my wittle Spider Woman."

The duo fought MOAR!ON on behalf of all the peoples of Muddle Earth, DUGlo continued to explain. "For he was on his way to destroy The One Poem when the Ditch King pierced him with a Black Arrow. The Dark Knight fell from the sky and crashed landed into a deep ravine that trailed off into an underground cavern. When he awoke, The One Poem was missing."

"It was those halfwit Frogs!" grumbled the Knight. "They hopped off with the darn thing, They stole The One Poem from us while we were unconscious! They stole the Precious!"

"Why does he refer to himself as "we" sometimes?" asked Jaragorn.

"I'm not quite sure," replied DUGlo. "Occasionally he speaks to an invisible friend named Robin ... though it might be the alcohol talking. He hasn't been sober since rescuing me."

There was a faint sound of war drums. As they listened, it grew louder.

"To the Bat Cave!" the Dark Knight enthusiastically exclaimed, suddenly on his feet again. He leapt onto a one person trampoline and slingshotted up into the tower's belfry. After a few minutes of climbing the stairs like normal people, they found him staring out the observatory using his thumbs and index fingers as goggles.

Torches blazed in the distance, growing brighter.

"Holey Moley!" he cried. "Salamandar has discovered our whereabouts. Little Fellowship fellow, were you by any chance talking to anyone through that magic bowling ball in the dining room?"

"Ooopsie," replied DUGlo. "Sorries."

"Oh, ugh," Ahavarwen said. "It's an army of Porks!"

InNomine
InNomine
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Razzerleaf, I want your 8/30 on my reading list, thank you

Ahavati
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Greetings, Great Fellowshippers! If you have reached Tree Beard, he will safely carry you into Day Eight! Congratulations to poems well-written and those to come! Bloody Fantastic! All of you!

Ahavati
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And now a word from one of our Sponsors: BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMY TOOTHPASTE, For a Sparkly White Smile*

So White it Makes Milk Jealous**

Cold Pressed Blood of Your Enemies from the finest recovered battle corpses. Trust BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMY TOOTHPASTE to make destruction fun while blinding your enemies with sparkling white teeth!

*All Natural Blood; No Artificial Ingredients used. Ever.



** Tagline by my grandson, Grey/Professor Peanut


SatInUGal
SatInUGal
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Does it come in children's flavor?

JohnnyBlaze
JohnnyBlaze
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Ahavati said:And now a word from one of our Sponsors: BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMY TOOTHPASTE, For a Sparkly White Smile*

So White it Makes Milk Jealous**

Cold Pressed Blood of Your Enemies from the finest recovered battle corpses. Trust BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMY TOOTHPASTE to make destruction fun while blinding your enemies with sparkling white teeth!

*All Natural Blood; No Artificial Ingredients used. Ever.



** Tagline by my grandson, Grey/Professor Peanut



https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CriminalGentleCub-small.gif

Ahavati
Ahavati
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SatInUGal said:Does it come in children's flavor?\

Unfortunately, it was determined that the majority of Ork eat their young; therefore, there was zero profit in making such flavors.

JohnnyBlaze said:

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CriminalGentleCub-small.gif


LOL! Exactly!

JohnnyBlaze
JohnnyBlaze
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EPISODE 9/30

It was not looking good for the Fellowship.

As Mudbug Castle was about to be assaulted by thousands of Porks armed to the teeth with spikes and sporks, Ganjosh and the others languished in a cell that was fabricated from bones and guarded by obnoxious Gobnoblins . . .

. . . except for PRadriel, who was so light on her bare feet that she never fell into Salamandar's trap! As she searched the Tower of ThincTanc for the skeleton key, she listened to the Gobnoblins below ceaselessly taunting the Dwarves with ABAB rhymes.

Your mother sports a lengthy beard
tangling up her feet as she walks
And your twin sister looks just as weird
with mouthfuls of hair when she talks!

Bwahahahaha!


It was a mind numbing preview of what was to become of Muddle Earth again if MOAR!ON was to reacquire The One Poem .

Zazzles and marina2020 played Go Fish with a deck of Beastiary cards they pilfered from Ahavarwen's travel bag. Brokenpoet2020 and Fiftysevenhours braided each others' beards.

"My poor babies," Eerowyn said as she agonized over not knowing what became of the Donkeys tied up to the railing outside. "If any harm comes to them, there will be hell to pay!"

Every Elf smells like a fisherman's warf
because of their poor hygiene habits
And when riding an elevator with a stinky Dwarf
you'd think it was a hutch of Rabbits!

Lololol!


"Make it stop!" cried Gimlyroo as he banged his head against the skeletal bars. Ganjosh wished he could, but the Gray Lizard was powerless without his staff.

There once was a couple of Earthwyrms
who hailed from Wyrmington Heights


"Don't you even think about it, Jerkweeds!" Rosie Grace yelled with a fist outstretched through the bars.

When in defeat, they finally returned
to find that all of their homes were burned


"Don't encourage them, Rosie!" said Satin Gamjeez. "They're just trolling us for a reaction."

and the Wyrms were eaten by . . . Wights . . .

. . . oh, shit.


From the doorway, Salamandar glared. He then fired a lightning bolt from his magic staff that reduced the singing Gobnoblins into a pile of charred gristle.

"No limericks allowed!" he huffed. "We serve the master of The One Poem now!"

While more Gobnoblin guards reported to the dungeon and swept up the smoldering remains with a broom, PRadriel quietly entered without making a sound. She quickly unlocked the bone cell with the skeleton key and said, "Walk this way."

And all the Dwarves pretended they were graceful like Elves as they mimicked PRadriel down the corridor. Along the way, they gathered up their personal affects and were back in business.

That's when the entire cavern began to rumble with a deafening growl.

Listening intently, Lunalass's eyes grew wide with terror. "Fly!" she shouted. "There's a Wallyrog behind us!"

And instead of venturing back to the surface and the tower, they fled deeper into the bowels of Muddle Earth.


Ahavati
Ahavati
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Greetings, Great Poets! If you see a Winged Creature beside your name, hop on and it will carry you across the great chasm into Day Nine!

If not, you have a 24 hour editing window to correct any mistakes if you wish the X to be eradicated from your record. If you edit AFTER your 24 hour grace period, then you will receive an additional X, as that is a separate violation.

Please remember that old poetry is not allowed to be posted in this competition. To enter such could mean automatic disqualification.

Thank you.

Congratulations, Entrants; you are almost 1/3 of the way there!

JohnnyBlaze
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EPISODE 10/30

"Filthy Bat freak!" Smuggle and Duggle grumbled in unison. "He stole the Glowyrm who purchased the Precious Poem from the people who stole it from us! But ... we has a plan to get it back, now don't we?"

It was a rhetorical question as they crawled into one of the catapults being aimed by the Pork army amassing around Castle Mudbug. On strict orders to acquire The One Poem , the minions of Salamandar commenced with their attack.

"FIRE!"

The Frog twins gurgled with glee as the were launched toward the castle at 87 miles per hour, ensuring they would be first to arrive before the Porks did!

And within a matter of seconds and inches, they with shocked expressions sailed through the air right on by The Dark Knight. He was ziplining away from the castle into the forest, with DUGlo clinging to his back, and Ahavarwen and Jaragorn holding onto his legs. As Smuggle and Duggle splatted against a crumbling sandstone castle turret, our Fellowship members escaped undetected!

"Hahaha!" laughed the Dark Knight. "You really didn't think I could actually fly, did you?"

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Keep ... running!" cried Gimlyroo, swiftly becoming out of breath as his snail mail armor weighed him down. It had been quite a while since his daily jogs around the Irony Hills. "That Wallyrog is gaining on us!"

They were all heaving and gasping as the giant Demon of the ancient world snarled and flailed at their heels with its flaming critique!

"Puny Dwarves and Fellowship dipsticks!" the Wallyrog growled. "Your NaPoWriMo entries will not rhyme worth a damn! The syllable counts for each line will be inconsistent! Who taught you how to write poetry?! Don't quit your day jobs! And just look at all those mispellings, not to mention typos! Typos! TYPOS! MUAHAHAHA!" Its devilish laugh was ear shattering and concentration breaking! "Just hand me your Tropheees now before you embarass yourselves in April!"

And with that, Ganjosh the Gray Lizard halted in stride, turned, and drove his magic staff into the carvernous ground. There was a thunderous cracking-of-stone noise as he declared with great authority, "YOU SHALL NOT TROLL US!"

Unfortunately, his magic staff struck a waterpipe supplying western Muddle Earth. A huge geyser burst upward, washing everyone up a chasm to the surface.

Fortunately, it helped them escape the Wallyrog, whose flaming critique was doused in an explosion of steam.

Unfortunately, the added pressure of that steam sent our waterlogged Fellowshippers rocketing out of the ground in an almost volcanic like eruption.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Fortunately for Ahavarwen and Jaragorn, the explosion of water broke their fall as the Dark Knight's tights tore loose from his costume.

See how everything all works out when you just go with the flow? You need not worry when it comes to NaPoWriMo, for . . ."

"Oh, no you don't, Mister Narrator!" shouted Eerowyn to the heavens. "What about my #$@%ing Donkeys?!"


Ahavati
Ahavati
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Greetings, Great Poets of the Fellowship! You are officially one-third of the way through the challenge!

If your Dragon has deposited you safely on land, your Elf guide is ready to lead you through Day Ten! If not, make sure you adhere to the rules for last posting!

May the odds ever be in your favor!

Ahavati
Ahavati
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The most difficult part of this NaPo for me is writing opposite the actual moon phase! Right now it's a waning crescent and the epic is a waxing crescent! It will be the same thing when I hit the waning cycle of the poem and the moon is waxing! I feel like I'm writing against the actual energy.  I've never felt anything like this. My head hurts! 😂

JohnnyBlaze
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Ahavati said:The most difficult part of this NaPo for me is writing opposite the actual moon phase! Right now it's a waning crescent and the epic is a waxing crescent! It will be the same thing when I hit the waning cycle of the poem and the moon is waxing! I feel like I'm writing against the actual energy.  I've never felt anything like this. My head hurts! 😂

It will be a different story when you edit, which can be at anytime after April!

Regardless, you are doing marvelous!

Ahavati
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JohnnyBlaze said:

It will be a different story when you edit, which can be at anytime after April!

Regardless, you are doing marvelous!


I'll have to recover a month or so first!

JohnnyBlaze
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Ahavati said:

I'll have to recover a month or so first!


Shitttttttt ..... I was thinking maybe a few years LOL You know I finally got around to editing all my past NaPo's just last year.

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