The White Lizard angrily stood up, aimed his magic staff as if a rifle, and loosed a magic fireball across the council table. When the smoke cleared, the potted cactus was nothing more than a pile of ashes in its chair.
Salamandar laughed and with an animated wave of his hand, said to his guests, "Oh, that little prick had it coming!"
He scratched himself inappropriately and wandered around the table. "Now, where is the rest of the Rainbow Coalition? I don't see Iggy Iguana with you. Charlie Chameleon? Nate the Newt? And where is that dratted Blabbergassed the Brown? He still owes me twenty gold coins! Cheapskate. All jabber-jaw talk talk talk, but never has anything in his wallet when it comes to picking up checks or tipping waitresses."
The Fellowship stood there listening to his rambling. They were the first real company he had in years, having had nothing more than inanimate objects and plants to chat with. Or so they were led to believe.
"Whatever!" The White Lizard scowled, surveying the group. "Is there a Dwarf convention in town? Or did I miss the Renaissance Fair this weekend? What are all of you people doing here anyway? You're interrupting my think-tanking!"
"We are in need of your P'lan Tier 3 Earthenet connection," replied Ganjosh. "A search for the Dark Knight must be conducted because only he knows how The One Poem ™ can be destroyed."
"The weapon of the Enemy has been found?!" exclaimed Salamandar. "Well, why didn't you say so! Please, walk this way!" And the White Lizard used his magic walking staff to steady his feet in entering the Grand Library. The Dwarves followed, doing their best to imitate his feeble movements.
There it it was on an absurdian pedestal - one of the few remaining P'lan Tier 3 Stones in the realm. Lady PRadriel breathed heavily onto the crystalline orb and polished it with her sleeve. She then gazed into it while her mind was firmly fixated on the Dark Knight.
"Look!" said Gimlyroo. "Something is appearing on the screen! It's ... it's ... Mister DUGlo . . ?!"
And there the little Glowyrm was, smiling and waving, with his nose pressed up against the globe. Oddly, he was glowing much brighter than usual.
"Why, Mister Baggins!" cried Satin Gamjeez. "Whatever are you doing inside that stone and how the heck did you get in there?!"
Rosie Grace sighed and said, "Bless your heart, Satin." And she thought to herself, It's a good thing he is easy on the eyes.
Through the intermittent static of the stone's connection, DUGlo excitedly replied, "Two crazy Frogs tried to steal The One Poem ™ . . ."
"Ugh," PRadriel grumbled and slapped the stone. "Lousy signal strength. Does anyone have any tinfoil?"
"It looks like DUGlo is safe!" said Cool Dude Merry. "And if I'm not mistaken, the coat of arms hanging on the wall behind him belongs to the abandoned Mudbug Sand Castle located on the Muddle Puddle Sea coast!"
Salamandar scooped up the P'lan Tier 3 and pitched it down a long hallway. There was a loud crash sounding of dishes breaking. Puzzled at his bizarre behavior, they all looked on confounded.
"Fools!" huffed the White Lizard with a toothy grin of disdain. "I expected Ganjosh the Gecko to be much smarter than this. You played right into my hands. MOAR!ON, my new master, will be pleased that after a thousand years of searching, you have have handed The One Poem ™ to him on a silver platter!"
And before anyone could utter a reply, The White Lizard disappeared in a flash of light and smoke.
"Well, now whaaaaaaaa---." Dwarf Razzerleaf began to say when the trap door beneath the Fellowship's feet opened and everyone tumbled down a chasm.