Our Fellowship of The One Poem ™ zigged and zagged over hill and through forest until the eardrum shattering shrieks of the Nasty Ghoulies abated far behind them. Then camp was made, although few were inclined to sleep.
"I've never been so scared in my entire life," said DUGlo Baggins as he fed baby carrots to the miniature Donkey he affectionately named John Ronald.
"Not nearly enough," said the Gray Lizard, parking himself on a hollow log. As he smoked a piped, Ganjosh elaborated. "The Nine are a frightening bunch, but their leader is a terrible bastard. He is the Ditch King of Humbug, a nightmarish valley that the living dare not enter on the sunniest of days. It is a swampland with the wretched stench of half emptied beer cans floating about - every stinking one of them teeming with inebbriated Borgul Beetles."
Jaragorn, given his poor gag reflex, almost threw up in his leather football helmet. Everyone else listening shuddered, for Muddle Earth was abound with tales of the legendary King of Humbug and his eight boogeyman dance crew.
Then there was much arguing going on as to what the next course of action should be, until Ahavarwen shouted, "Enough!" She removed a deck of cards from her cloak and held it out. "We shall let the Universe decide where we need to be based on which Location card is chosen. This knowledge will help us determine what we need to do when we get there."
Gimlyroo put down the axe he was sharpening and politely raised his hand. When acknowledged, he asked, "But who gets to pick the Location card?"
Ahavarwen sighed, rolled her eyes, and removed a second deck of cards. "Everyone pick one Character card. The person who ends up picking the MOAR!ON card will then get to pick the Location card."
"Excuse me," piped up Satin Gamgeez. "How do we decide which decks of cards we draw from in the first place?"
Rosie Grace in turn gave him The Look and said, "Be a good boy and repeat after me: Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one.
More arguing broke out amongst the Fellowship until a sleek raven swooped down and stole the top card from the Location deck. Before it could fly away, the card was pierced by an arrow that ended up stuck in a tree trunk. There was much ooing and aahing at the skill with a bow displayed.
From out of the dark strolled a familiar face. It was Lunalass Greenjeans of the Smirkwood Forest Elves. She plucked the arrow from the tree and approached them.
"Is this your card?" she asked, holding it up against her forehead. "Don't tell me what it is." A look of intense concentration came over her face. "I see a tall, black tower carved out of absurdian."
"It is the Tower of ThincTanc," confirmed PRaradriel. "Home of Salamandar, the White Lizard." She began to glide around the glade they were settled in. "And it is there that we can access the Muddle Earthenet using his P'lan Tier 3 connection and search for the The Dark Knight. He is the only individual we are aware of that knows how to destroy The One Poem ™. It's a long shot, but that's all we have to go on for now."
Lunalass sniffed the hair of her Elven comrades and said with a smirk that her clan was notorious for,
"You all stink of Dwarf."