My dearest sky_dancer,
I have been totally remiss at being a participating member of dup and of commenting for the most part for a few weeks now. Have read several, but simply could not comment.
Having seen your forum from beginning, I feel somewhat and still do, dead inside, but, of course, that does not negate the guilt of why I do not follow my instinctual thoughts. My innards are in constant turmoil, I find myself scouring other sites searching for that which i cannot have in full value, the the elusive orgasm.
Therefore erotica to me is real fantasy. Erotica mainstreams me into world I am not and cannot be. I have only really experienced an over-the-top-shivering- let-go-of-myself orgasm a handful of times in all my 71 plus years. I have learned to enjoy the journey and if I do orgasm or if I don't, oh well, what the fuck, who gives a shit anyway. Just another fuck.
My life's journey has been one of great emotional pain going from man to man searching for the one, the key, to open me who can touch me in ways to make me cum, the one to help me insert the key and we become as one, merging and melting into the other in a world of universes colliding, like earthquakes birthing new continents, new mountain ranges. Why can't I?
Anyway you see my dilemma. I think big, I fantasize big, but my reality is small, mostly mundane except when I crash into a wall, except when I get hit in the head by a two by four, except when overwhelmed and can take no more and i start throwing shit no matter the cost at a nothingness of existence to which i am so aware.
I started reading this forum in the wee hours of the morning this day, got through page 16. Tesrs started streaming, i had to stop, i had to join and present my wares, some of my story in my sleazy efforts to make fuck and erotica fit onto the same page for me.
In reading this forum, I have learned of the educational level, the intuitive level of consciousness andbif the communal consciousness and the artful style of many fellow erotica buffs. I am absolutely and utterly amazed. I honor you all. I do not possess your level of knowledge, structure of sentences nor the art of language. I only write from my core-being. It has all the knowledge I need to put pen to paper and write a decent poetic expression of my inner me. I own my self-description as possessing intuitive intelligence and natural innate insight.
I will close this and begin my journey on your forum. There are many forms of sexual pleasure. Each to their own, all are beautiful expressions of transporting oneself and/or others into the netherworld of the never ending story of peeling away the layers of ourselves thereby exposing ourselves, becoming vulnerable, used and sometimes abused, of hitting new highs, of becoming like a snake slithering on the ground with forked tongue smelling and feeling our way around.
Can you believe, when i was in school, I'd get the remark from my teacher about run-on sentences. I have to admit, by golly I think i do have a knack for run-on sentences. So when you see truncated poetry penned by me, it really is an effort to find descriptive words structured in a way that will convey a part of me to the reader and be able delete the peripheral words.
Ok, now I close. To sky_dancer thank you for your bravery, you are a star and to the rest for supporting her efforts to bring together erotica "pervs" to present themselves, to expose themselves.
Whoops one more thing...in my opinion, it is religious zealots who in large part, give erotica a bad name and whose hipocracy knows no bounds. They let their own sexual depravity become a put down for people of real courage, of real knowledge seekers. Religious zealots attend lynching meets, their tongues a wagging about a subject, they nothing about, becoming a major negative part of the problem in society today. If you think they don't read smut and that in reality their inner-perv is waiting to be set free, then think again. They do read, how else can one comment. I say fuck them all. They call themselves truth seekers but in reality are puppets of pulpit preaching. Many take pulpit teachings or shall I say brainwashing, as truth without ever really investigating or as we say now fact-checking what they hear.
I will as best I can become a participant on dup. Thank you and I look forward to reading more.