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Psychopathy & Dark Triad Thread

poet Anonymous

Ahavati said:

We are all narcissistic to a degree; however, the difference between normal narcissism ( nn ) and narcissistic personality disorder ( npd ) are evident.  As humans, we are all self-centered or selfish at times, or have the inclination to eschew responsibility or treat friends & family badly.  We all have bad days.  But, people with nn accept responsibility for their actions and move on.  They don't hold onto resentment and bitterness, nor seek revenge.  Also, they are not afraid to see help from others or a professional.

Conversely those with narcissistic personality disorder ( npd ), are focused on themselves most of the time ( see above post regarding selfies, etc. ).  In addition, they feel an extreme amount of threat from others who may appear more self-confident or successful because they are very proactive in what they love to do.   Those with npp fear losing control of their environment, thus are constantly undermining and competing for control of those in their environment.  This is true for an office as it is a home.

Lastly, those with npd don't believe they need help because they've done nothing wrong; it's always the other person in the relationship's fault.  They hold onto grudges and seek revenge by stalking ( this can be irl,  virtual, or both ), lying, and a vast other array of negative traits.




Sisters baby-father down to a T, with NPD.
No one in this world Iím more happy to be away from.

EdibleWords
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It freaks me out that people like sociopaths even exist.

The worst of it isn't even the initial damage... and that's horrific.

The worst is how we allact after the terror is over.

They've distorted the culture!

Ahavati
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Umm said:

Kinda agree with you there.. when it comes to narcissism. I've read that it's a spectrum thingy that everyone is on, some people have too much of it...to the point that it's a problem, other's not enough. Still need to do more research though c:

Edit: basically what Ahavati said! xD


Umm, being the victim of a narcissist is nothing to take lightly.  If you experience harassment or stalkerish behaviour from him,  it could get very nasty.  They will stop at nothing to ruin your life and reputation.  

Please let us know if you need assistance or reference links on how to deal with a narcissist.  The optimal word ( if at all possible ) is to ignore, ignore, and ignore.

Tallen
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Ahavati said:

Umm, being the victim of a narcissist is nothing to take lightly.  If you experience harassment or stalkerish behaviour from him,  it could get very nasty.  They will stop at nothing to ruin your life and reputation.  

Please let us know if you need assistance or reference links on how to deal with a narcissist.  The optimal word ( if at all possible ) is to ignore, ignore, and ignore.


Ditto on this:

Please let us know if you need assistance or reference links on how to deal with a narcissist.

Umm
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Ahavati said:

Umm, being the victim of a narcissist is nothing to take lightly.  If you experience harassment or stalkerish behaviour from him,  it could get very nasty.  They will stop at nothing to ruin your life and reputation.  

Please let us know if you need assistance or reference links on how to deal with a narcissist.  The optimal word ( if at all possible ) is to ignore, ignore, and ignore.


Thank you for your concern, but I feel fairly safe, if my ex wanted to, he could easily stalk me..as he lives only 5 minutes away, but (thankfully) he hasn't. ..as far as I know.

And I'm not certain that he's a narcissist. People are complicated. Diagnosing someone is very difficult, ..narcissistic traits have to be present in all areas of the person's life. Additionally, if someone is under a lot of stress, they won't really be themselves.

Umm
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Tallen said:

Ditto on this:

Please let us know if you need assistance or reference links on how to deal with a narcissist.


I'm alright, I promise c:

Kinda confused as to why you guys are concerned, I was only agreeing with Ricky about how everyone is somewhere on a narcissistic spectrum.

But thank you for your readiness to offer help :]

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I'd like to know if being highly successful at deception corrupts children into npd.


Separately...
Fake dating was something that seemed to be part of npd.... from what ive seen!

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What really, really bugs me is the overlap from people with reason to believe they are gifted (retardedly big iq numbers) and those who wanna-be disturbed with a "gift" for God-knows-what reason.

Layla
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Ms. Butters thank you for the support with your kind words and I wish i could speak about it in detail, but i can't.  Blocking does not work!  They get different phones, they make different ids.
Every characteristic that was mentioned here by you, umm, ahavati or others its true but I must empahsize couple of things.  The biggest fear they have is rejection!
Everything they do, every manipulation, lie, mental games, the creeping in sweetly softly is to control and by controlling everything from the moment we wake up to the minute we sleep is to make sure our attention is for them, about them, to them and anything else its taken as rejection.  For example, If you leave the room to get a glass of water and you're gone more than the customery lets say 2 min time to get a glass of water, then their minds start twisting, "why is she gone more than the necessary allotted time, she's bored with me, she doesn't want to be with me, does she have someone else, is she thinking about someone else"...etc and etc.
The simplest thing they will dwell upon and turn it into a fight to just see how far you will go to soothe their ego and to assure them they're still number one.
The harassment has subsided but hasn't gone away altogether, and I have to be honest, i'm very depressed and sad.

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Umm said:

I'm alright, I promise c:

Kinda confused as to why you guys are concerned, I was only agreeing with Ricky about how everyone is somewhere on a narcissistic spectrum.

But thank you for your readiness to offer help :]


I don't know about Tallen, I certainly can't speak for him, but my reason for concern was the below statement:

Umm said:

[. . .]
The reason I started researching Psychopathy was actually prompted by a bad ..or toxic relationship..I'm still trying to figure out what exactly happened. So thanks again for your post, ..It's oddly comforting to know I'm not stupid for falling for something like what you described...even though it wasn't nearly as bad as your experience.
[. . .]


I volunteered for a battered women's shelter for a decade, and if I had a penny for everytime a psychologically abused woman said she couldn't figure out what happened, I'd be freaking rich and retired years now.  So that statement raised a red flag of concern with me.  

Narcissists are masters of confusion. They refuse any responsibility for the relationship and are capricious, leaving their victims to pick up the pieces while being frustrated and exhausted in the process. In essence, you're left wondering what happened. . .

You are absolutely right regarding diagnosis.  Only a professional can evaluate any type of mental behaviour; however, being that psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists typically eschew any professional help because they don't think they've done anything wrong,  guess who the psychiatrist or counselor sees? You got it; the victim.

And from these sessions comes a blueprint of action, or red flags, that one needs to pay serious attention to, particularly in an online relationship.  A good rule of thumb is this:  All sociopaths qualify as narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

Lastly, I had no idea you were starting this because of a personal issue. I thought it was online in general.  But either way, both are important to recognize.

Umm
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Ahavati said:

I volunteered for a battered women's shelter for a decade, and if I had a penny for everytime a psychologically abused woman said she couldn't figure out what happened, I'd be freaking rich and retired years now.  So that statement raised a red flag of concern with me.  

Narcissists are masters of confusion. They refuse any responsibility for the relationship and are capricious, leaving their victims to pick up the pieces while being frustrated and exhausted in the process. In essence, you're left wondering what happened. . .

You are absolutely right regarding diagnosis.  Only a professional can evaluate any type of mental behaviour; however, being that psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists typically eschew any professional help because they don't think they've done anything wrong,  guess who the psychiatrist or counselor sees? You got it; the victim.

And from these sessions comes a blueprint of action, or red flags, that one needs to pay serious attention to, particularly in an online relationship.  A good rule of thumb is this:  All sociopaths qualify as narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

Lastly, I had no idea you were starting this because of a personal issue. I thought it was online in general.  But either way, both are important to recognize.


Okay, so that makes more sense to me, thank you for taking the time to explain. And the info about narcissism and etc. is useful.

About the other things you mentioned, ..I would rather not think of myself as a victim right now. The reason why I started to research these things was due to a bad relationship, but my reason for starting the thread was not only to learn more about psychology, but to also try to spread awareness (..I'm kind of a private person, so I would rather not make this thread about myself or my past relationship, though Butter's post did prompt me to share)

Hope that's understandable :]

poet Anonymous

Iíve been lucky to only experience some real crazy stuff from my sisters baby-father.
Thinking about it all now Iím away from everything, I should have got out of that flat a lot sooner, and quit sticking up for my sister, as she was only playing us off against each other. Both lie to themselves, not only social services, and thatís what makes them really dangerous.
I regret not saying what I should have, all because of worrying about my safety; selfish in a way I know, as that wasnít helping the girls when I had the chance, but theyíll soon see, and seek revenge if they want it. And I wouldnít blame them.

To this day, I know neither of them would care how that day effected me on the estate, and to then find out he moved onto my baby-mother and started being around my son; I wanted to end it all. Total shock had set in, couldnít eat and couldnít sleep. Had to go doctors, and just cried as soon I tried talking.

As Iíve said/wrote many of times in my work, I could just get him when heís an old man; beat the shit out of him at his most vulnerable like he did me, but I wonít. Just hope he dies a painful death. Did tell him though, Iím not a violent person, but if he hurt Tyler just to get to me...no matter the time, I would have got him. Thankfully nothing like that happened, and he mistook my baby-mother for my sister, but Sedenís got a bit more about her than my sister - she cares about her kids, and my sister doesnít.

Iím too normally a private person, but Iíd have put enough out there to ensure that no one is gonna fuck with me and make me out to be a liar, itís only gonna come off worse for them. He found that out.

I miss my nieces and hope theyíre ok.
Canít speak much on whatís going on, as I donít go round there anymore, but I do hope theyíre shown more attention, rather than her dancing to shit tunes in the kitchen, completely oblivious to what theyíre doing. Just insane that my sister canít comprehend why her oldest daughter shouts and screams in her face - has only got it from her mother, when sheís asked a simple question.

As much as I can appear to be an asshole - Iíll say it again - only child out the three on drugs, yet havenít had social services involved with Tyler. And Seden would sure agree with that. What does that tell you? lol

Anyways, Iím a lot stronger now and if ever I do see him out on the street, Iím not gonna engage at all.

Ahavati
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Umm said:

Okay, so that makes more sense to me, thank you for taking the time to explain. And the info about narcissism and etc. is useful.

About the other things you mentioned, ..I would rather not think of myself as a victim right now. The reason why I started to research these things was due to a bad relationship, but my reason for starting the thread was not only to learn more about psychology, but to also try to spread awareness (..I'm kind of a private person, so I would rather not make this thread about myself or my past relationship, though Butter's post did prompt me to share)

Hope that's understandable :]


I wasn't really referring to you as a victim, but those who enter counseling after experiencing a shitshow via a psycho/sociopathic/narcissistic relationship. My point was the majority of counseling that goes on is with the victim vs the perpetrator because the latter feels they've done nothing wrong, and therefore need no counseling. People with psychopathic traits may seek out therapy, but true psychopaths will not.

One of the best online resources out there regarding your interest is Psychology Today's blog:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201801/the-difference-between-narcissist-and-sociopath

Another thing to keep in mind aside from all sociopaths qualify as narcissists; however, not all narcissists are sociopaths, is that a psychopath is born that way ( it's a debated grey area ), and has little hope for change. Whereas a sociopath is created by circumstances of their environment.  This could mean they were subjected to repeated abuse of any form: physical, sexual, and emotional.  A sociopath stands a better chance of recovery; however, getting them to admit there is a problem is the challenge, as most feel they've done nothing wrong. Even their apologies  ( particularly public ) are grandiose attempts at inserting themselves back into their target's life.  And their target is typically too worried about what others will think if they refuse such a public gesture, that they accept the apology.  

I could go on but won't.   I wish you the best in your studies.  Who knows, when you reach my age you may be helping someone your age.  Women tend to stick together despite differences when it comes to abusive relationships or death of a spouse/lover.


EdibleWords
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This thread is so full of love it could pop! ❤️
(That ittle heart is like adding a rubber band to that watermelon that already is circled with a whole pack!)

Just glad to see it. 👏

butters
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Layla said:Ms. Butters thank you for the support with your kind words and I wish i could speak about it in detail, but i can't.  Blocking does not work!  They get different phones, they make different ids.
Every characteristic that was mentioned here by you, umm, ahavati or others its true but I must empahsize couple of things.  The biggest fear they have is rejection!
Everything they do, every manipulation, lie, mental games, the creeping in sweetly softly is to control and by controlling everything from the moment we wake up to the minute we sleep is to make sure our attention is for them, about them, to them and anything else its taken as rejection.  For example, If you leave the room to get a glass of water and you're gone more than the customery lets say 2 min time to get a glass of water, then their minds start twisting, "why is she gone more than the necessary allotted time, she's bored with me, she doesn't want to be with me, does she have someone else, is she thinking about someone else"...etc and etc.
The simplest thing they will dwell upon and turn it into a fight to just see how far you will go to soothe their ego and to assure them they're still number one.
The harassment has subsided but hasn't gone away altogether, and I have to be honest, i'm very depressed and sad.
hang in there, Layla; it does get better. :flowers:

one other point: that kind of behaviour is aimed at putting you constantly on the defensive, so you are unable to think ahead, think about the perpetrator's behaviour but are continually having to justify your own. It's often the case that the exact thing they are accusing you of reflects THEIR own actions, like infidelity, abuse, etc.... Because they are that way, they are suspicious of everyone. That or they are simply needful, for their own warped pleasure, to harrass you this way.

You are NOT responsible for their paranoia, their malaise; most of us who've been in the situation believed we could 'help' the person overcome some of their issues. It's what they play on. Discontinue as much contact with them as humanly possible. You are only responsible for your own well-being at this point. They may threaten suicide or other acts of self-harm. You don't need to respond to those. IF, and it's almost 100% sure they won't do any real damage to themselves (maybe something superficial to scare you), IF they harm themselves? That's between them and their doctor. You are not their psychiatrist, care-worker, or nurse. There's a freedom in denying them further influence on your mental and physical wellbeing.

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