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How do you really heal
Hey, this post is inspired by something that I went through today and had me thinking how do we really heal from mental/emotional trauma? Whether from past pain or present pain how do we recover from it?.
Do we sometimes bottle it up deep inside within ourselves and drown it with something toxic just to forget the memories?
or take our pain and anger out on others in order to protect ourselves?
Or at the same rate do we try to find faith in things like God and redeem ourselves and become better people despite the mistakes we made?
So to ask this what demons are you or another person struggling with at the moment? And have you tried to find a way to cope with your problems? Whether pain from bad relationships, abuse of any kind, addiction from neurotics/alcohol/sex/money, depression, etc. whatever the case may be tell you your story and let me know how you are trying to deal with it or how you dealt with it.
Thank you so much, God bless you.
Do we sometimes bottle it up deep inside within ourselves and drown it with something toxic just to forget the memories?
or take our pain and anger out on others in order to protect ourselves?
Or at the same rate do we try to find faith in things like God and redeem ourselves and become better people despite the mistakes we made?
So to ask this what demons are you or another person struggling with at the moment? And have you tried to find a way to cope with your problems? Whether pain from bad relationships, abuse of any kind, addiction from neurotics/alcohol/sex/money, depression, etc. whatever the case may be tell you your story and let me know how you are trying to deal with it or how you dealt with it.
Thank you so much, God bless you.
Hi there! I hope you have been taking care of yourself lately and that you've been okay.
I'm not sure if a person could completely get over something traumatic. The past can't be erased, nor should anybody try to do so. The real toxicity comes from drowning in alcohol, choking with smoke or hurting other human beings. What does someone stand to gain from those? The instant gratification of escapism or a sense of dominance is not worth its consequences, though I sympathize with those who don't see themselves as strong enough to try other options.
While that sounds pessimistic, I think the truth is far from it. Trauma is like a losing game. Over time, you do a little bit better and don't mind the loss as much as you used to. And like a game, the best strategy to have in mind is patience and understanding. Discarding the simile for a moment, I mean you should give yourself time to slow down that heart from the fears and rushes of trauma so that you could look at the situation with a better mindset. As for the best way to approach it?
Imagine people as buildings. You are your own building and so is everyone else. What's holding your building up is support. Ideally, the best source for that support is yourself because you know you'll always be there to help yourself up. When you trust other people to be that support for you, they become the support beams of your building. While it's a sweet sentiment to know you're in good hands, that should only happen after supporting yourself. Without helping yourself, then if they leave you somehow you'd have no support and then your building collapses. But if you support yourself while welcoming another's, when they leave your own self-support, that self-love, becomes strengthened.
There will be times when you don't believe that, when you have to turn on your social persona and act happy through the day though the act is hollow. That's just as important an emotion as love is. When you take the time to acknowledge it and embrace it, love takes over. Someday, anyone who's been hurt should tell themselves something along the lines of, I have been hurt. I know it may be years before I feel like I've healed enough. I know it may never come. But I am alive! I have made it past the evils of the world to live another day! That is something so incredible I wish everybody who's been hurt could see. They are survivors who cling to the gift of life.
Love is very important in handling trauma. Self-love can inspire confidence, which should be the beam that holds your building up. One day you will be confident enough to trust yourself, and then to look toward another person knowing that they can leave, but trying anyway because you value them. That is not simply what I believe - that's what I know to be true, because I've seen it happen. What others have accomplished for themselves is a bar you can meet with time and love for yourself.
I'm not sure if a person could completely get over something traumatic. The past can't be erased, nor should anybody try to do so. The real toxicity comes from drowning in alcohol, choking with smoke or hurting other human beings. What does someone stand to gain from those? The instant gratification of escapism or a sense of dominance is not worth its consequences, though I sympathize with those who don't see themselves as strong enough to try other options.
While that sounds pessimistic, I think the truth is far from it. Trauma is like a losing game. Over time, you do a little bit better and don't mind the loss as much as you used to. And like a game, the best strategy to have in mind is patience and understanding. Discarding the simile for a moment, I mean you should give yourself time to slow down that heart from the fears and rushes of trauma so that you could look at the situation with a better mindset. As for the best way to approach it?
Imagine people as buildings. You are your own building and so is everyone else. What's holding your building up is support. Ideally, the best source for that support is yourself because you know you'll always be there to help yourself up. When you trust other people to be that support for you, they become the support beams of your building. While it's a sweet sentiment to know you're in good hands, that should only happen after supporting yourself. Without helping yourself, then if they leave you somehow you'd have no support and then your building collapses. But if you support yourself while welcoming another's, when they leave your own self-support, that self-love, becomes strengthened.
There will be times when you don't believe that, when you have to turn on your social persona and act happy through the day though the act is hollow. That's just as important an emotion as love is. When you take the time to acknowledge it and embrace it, love takes over. Someday, anyone who's been hurt should tell themselves something along the lines of, I have been hurt. I know it may be years before I feel like I've healed enough. I know it may never come. But I am alive! I have made it past the evils of the world to live another day! That is something so incredible I wish everybody who's been hurt could see. They are survivors who cling to the gift of life.
Love is very important in handling trauma. Self-love can inspire confidence, which should be the beam that holds your building up. One day you will be confident enough to trust yourself, and then to look toward another person knowing that they can leave, but trying anyway because you value them. That is not simply what I believe - that's what I know to be true, because I've seen it happen. What others have accomplished for themselves is a bar you can meet with time and love for yourself.
Great thread!
To put it somewhat boringly, I think the most effective way to heal mental/emotional trauma(especially if debilitating) is by getting professional help. I recently read the new edition of Abnormal Psychology, ..what surprised me (and was also perhaps the easiest thing to take away from said book), was the value of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; and as Little_Tails mentioned, having a social support system.
More personally, what helps me when I'm going through a difficult time is mindful meditation, and this may sound dumb.. but also positive affirmations. I read somewhere that nothing is either all bad or all good, ..coming back to that statement when I'm overwhelmed helps me assess both the good and not so great aspects of my life and put things into perspective so I can figure out a way to overcome whatever I'm going through, ..although there are certain aspects of oneself which are nearly impossible to overcome
To put it somewhat boringly, I think the most effective way to heal mental/emotional trauma(especially if debilitating) is by getting professional help. I recently read the new edition of Abnormal Psychology, ..what surprised me (and was also perhaps the easiest thing to take away from said book), was the value of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; and as Little_Tails mentioned, having a social support system.
More personally, what helps me when I'm going through a difficult time is mindful meditation, and this may sound dumb.. but also positive affirmations. I read somewhere that nothing is either all bad or all good, ..coming back to that statement when I'm overwhelmed helps me assess both the good and not so great aspects of my life and put things into perspective so I can figure out a way to overcome whatever I'm going through, ..although there are certain aspects of oneself which are nearly impossible to overcome
Anonymous
You forgive. You forgive. You forgive.
You accept apologies you never received. You fall in love. You fall out of love. You do this over and over until you learn what love fucking is.
You become kind to yourself. You learn the value of silence. You learn to keep your circle close. You see your scars as lessons. You stick two middle fingers up to the past and scream a massive “fuck You” because the past is gone and the present is now.
You never, ever apologise for being you or being human enough to react with an emotion. You accept that bad days come with the good. You live every day to be kind, to be thankful, to be grateful. You practice radical acceptance.
You begin again. It’s never too late to change.
You accept apologies you never received. You fall in love. You fall out of love. You do this over and over until you learn what love fucking is.
You become kind to yourself. You learn the value of silence. You learn to keep your circle close. You see your scars as lessons. You stick two middle fingers up to the past and scream a massive “fuck You” because the past is gone and the present is now.
You never, ever apologise for being you or being human enough to react with an emotion. You accept that bad days come with the good. You live every day to be kind, to be thankful, to be grateful. You practice radical acceptance.
You begin again. It’s never too late to change.
People will always try to distinguish your success. Saying things like, "if it wasn't for me or if blah blah blah." Don't let no one distinguish what you built. Anything and everything you do reflects back only on you, no one else. That's what makes you accountable. That's what defines you and sometimes represent you.. You have to remind people that it's not about them and it never was about them...
Chris_Pleasures said:People will always try to distinguish your success. Saying things like, "if it wasn't for me or if blah blah blah." Don't let no one distinguish what you built. Anything and everything you do reflects back only on you, no one else. That's what makes you accountable. That's what defines you and sometimes represent you.. You have to remind people that it's not about them and it never was about them... interesting take Chris though on some levels it can be about both depending on the situation yet at the end of the day you have to work on yourself and not really give a damn what people think despite everything that can come your way whether good or bad
S.O.A.R.
Surrender
Observe
Accept
Release
works for me in just about any stressful situation. the entire process takes about 1 to 2 hours though.
SURRENDER means to let your emotions wash over you. cry, scream, punch something, just let your emotions out.
OBSERVE means to think things over. think about what happened and what went wrong.
ACCEPT means to, obviously, accept what happened. what's done is done.
RELEASE means to let go of any regrets, any strings trying to hold you back, and move on.
it might not work right away. you might wanna do the process once a day, somewhere personal where you can afford to take the time to do so.
Surrender
Observe
Accept
Release
works for me in just about any stressful situation. the entire process takes about 1 to 2 hours though.
SURRENDER means to let your emotions wash over you. cry, scream, punch something, just let your emotions out.
OBSERVE means to think things over. think about what happened and what went wrong.
ACCEPT means to, obviously, accept what happened. what's done is done.
RELEASE means to let go of any regrets, any strings trying to hold you back, and move on.
it might not work right away. you might wanna do the process once a day, somewhere personal where you can afford to take the time to do so.
