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me me me me me me me me me me me

lepperochan
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Miss_Sub said:I can think of a certain old school DU minion of which I am no longer acquainted with, that did this on a serial level. To be honest, I've also asked myself why they would do this. My only assumption is that they were trying to take more emphasis out of the self and throw more emphasis to the reader... but then I thought that this person was also an audio poet, so maybe it was purely the way that they talked? I guess a lot of audio poets write how they talk. I know I'm guilty of that a lot.

I guess it's personal preference. It doesn't detract anything from the read in my opinion. Not as much as overuse of the words 'the' or 'of'. I do find myself consciously editing out a tonne of those.



good point there, omitting of other words. in the past eight months or so I have dramatically reduced my use of the word 'that' , came about after some critique I got which made a lot of sense ..also the word 'as' seems very overused and for me anyway reads rubbish in most cases

lepperochan
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gazellemon said:Personally, I try to reduce the times I say the word I where possible (three times in one sentence lol). I do it for some of the reasons above. First I want to a few words to go a long way. Second I do not want to limit the scope of my writing.  Removing the I's from my writing inherently makes it less about me (which I think is good). Yes, I am still talking about the way I feel, but hopefully resonating with others in a more direct way.

By explicitly referring to yourself, you define boundaries of your creative expression.

It is funny though.. the generation they say is the most selfish would seemingly have a trend that would suggest the opposite.

my 2c


I can relate with most all of what you say, but have trouble computing this:  "Removing the I's from my writing inherently makes it less about me"  ..cos, if the line refers to you in every way 'cept  the word I is omitted, and for the most part it seems unanimous that the I is obvious anyway ..how does omitting the I make the line less about you ?

..I'm hoping I might get a new title when I hit 10,000 comments ..or a trophy ..or some kind of prize

brokentitanium
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[quote-322801-lepperochan]

...but then you must write different than you speak  ...so you're not doing it right ...tsk tsk

I didn't know there was a "right" in poetry.  Anyhow, I've never been any good at doing what I'm told.  

brokentitanium
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Oh I messed up, haven't learned how to do this quoting thing yet...

lepperochan
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ohh, but there's lots of rights in poetry. poetry is full of rules don't-cha-know. if you wrote a haiku using 24 syllables it wouldn't be a haiku so you'd have written it wrong ..even though with 24 syllables it would't be a haiku so it'd be right

anyhow, maybe I was alluding to you writing right and speaking wrong

poet Anonymous

I actually have not noticed all that much... In my own poetry, I simply just try and not repeat words, so if I used "I" and need to use it again and can't find a replacement word, I will use it again. I just really try not to be to repetitive with words.

lepperochan
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cheers
yeah, I get that right enough. I find,  sometimes one word which repeats within a couple of lines can knock a little something out of it's stanza. sometimes there's little choice

mercutius
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I had no idea this happened, I just posted something with like 15 I's (exaggerating, but anyway those were many)

poet Anonymous

So my opinion, for what it's not worth...

I'm not a magnificent fan of poetry that is directed AT the reader, so to take this threads label and invert it...
"you, you, you, you, you, you, you!"
I feel that it is almost accusation like at the reader. I find sometimes I even think to my self, but look dear poet, I didn't do anything to you, why would you want stick a poker up my but hole.
Sometimes it's not accusation like, but rather preachy, and I'm not loving that either.

I have written a lot about myself and so would do the "me" thing naturally,
but I find that because I don't like the "you, you, you, you, you" thing, that I'm very careful to try keep them down to a minimum.
Mostly because I don't want to come over as self indulgent or overly narcissistic.

Come to think of it, off the cuff... Can't think of a single "I, me, I, me, I, me" poem by a famous poet that I actually like...
don't recall a "you, you, you, you" piece by an accomplished writer that I enjoyed either.

#JustFoodForThought

;)

lepperochan
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ahh yes. like being talked at instead of spoken to, you can almost imagine a big bony finger wagging through the breaks in stanzas. sometimes, I suppose, readers deserve an accusation of sorts. observational poetry is full of it. but, it's about technique I suppose and the intent of an author. p'raps people appreciate being given credit for a bit of intelligence: " yes, it tastes delicious but there's really no need to spoon it into my mouth like that"  ... I must confess my own spooning infringements

I suppose the difference between a me me me poem and a you you you poem is who holds the pen and who owns the eyes

but, good fellow ...you didn't really answer the question. that's to say ok you write a lot about yourself ...been caught up in the whole 'me' thing. staggered into it blind like every other poet in history. ..tsk tsk,  ...but do you use the I's or take some away


“I Am Not I”
BY JUAN RAMÓN JIMÉNEZ
TRANSLATED BY ROBERT BLY

I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent while I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.


Juan Ramón Jiménez, “‘I Am Not I’” from Lorca and Jiménez: Selected Poems. Translation copyright © 1973 by Robert Bly. Reprinted with the permission of Beacon Press.
   

poet Anonymous

See, I thought I had answered, but to put it bluntly, I definitely remove them.

Never read that piece you quoted there, and to be fair, it's rather brilliant, really! Thanks for that!

greyblueyellow
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Poems that represents the ''I'' as subjects are overwhelmingly ubiquitous and represent a narcissistic and very demoralizing self concern self obsession self-regard that seems to have no relation to aesthetic or artistic objectives and to be be of possible interest to only one person namely the mother of the self-obsessed mememememe poet

Ahavati
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greyblueyellow said:Poems that represents the ''I'' as subjects are overwhelmingly ubiquitous and represent a narcissistic and very demoralizing self concern self obsession self-regard that seems to have no relation to aesthetic or artistic objectives and to be be of possible interest to only one person namely the mother of the self-obsessed mememememe poet

Not entirely true.  


[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                     i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
~

The above highlights 'i' as the subject, and even uses 'me' - yet it's one of the most famous poems in poetic history.  It depends on the intent and the source, i.e. - self or the muse.  

David_Macleod
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greyblueyellow said:Poems that represents the ''I'' as subjects are overwhelmingly ubiquitous and represent a narcissistic and very demoralizing self concern self obsession self-regard that seems to have no relation to aesthetic or artistic objectives and to be be of possible interest to only one person namely the mother of the self-obsessed mememememe poet

"Poetry without self is like reading an Ikea catalogue"

Writers and Poets 101: when you write to try to write what you know and have experienced In doing that and reading others you can develop your skills to include the imagination if you include research then you can develop into an alround writer or a multi-genre poet who can then improve to an extent where you can break the rules of convention, inventing words and poetry forms.

One thing that I think is vital is that your poetry should create a defined emotional reaction in the reader. Without it, the reader simply doesn't connect. The reaction can be any emotion, sadness, anger, love, laughter, fear or any other but it must have it. Not all reader will see it but some will definitely if it is written from your heart


rabbitquest
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We thinks that if We use the We form
We will make Us Freeeeeeee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytpNY9dohmo

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