have you ever seduced anybody using poetry?
Anonymous
you ever seduced anybody using poetry?
i did once.
the poem had her name in it.
you'd be surprised at how well it works.
i danced with her too, though. that probably helped.
so yeah (poetry + dancing = ...)
i did once.
the poem had her name in it.
you'd be surprised at how well it works.
i danced with her too, though. that probably helped.
so yeah (poetry + dancing = ...)
rayheinrich
Death Plane for Teddy
Forum Posts: 4409
Death Plane for Teddy
Tyrant of Words
32
Joined 4th Dec 2009 Forum Posts: 4409
not that i know of, but...
poem of explanation:
< you want to have sex with me? >
ok
i admit
i don't have a clue about how this works
i'm surprised
shocked
i can't figure it out
why in the world would you want such a thing?
but
after years of confusion
i have given up
i have stopped worrying about it
so yes
i accept
(as graciously as i can)
your offer
- - -
[/color]
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
billy423uk
Joined 28th Mar 2010
Forum Posts: 299
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 299
i have to admit using the flowery stuff. we both loved it sad thing is the poems were and still are really really cheesy and bad as could be. at the time i'd been reading byron and bronte lol. the bitch was, i couldn't compare to either of them. i spot about poems not being original or them being too cliche. you should have seen some of my love poems hehe.
tim; i think if you could make a love poem and use the same vigor and originality as in the one i commented on, it would have to be good. that said we often find our writing styles and tend to stay in the safety zone of them.
tim; i think if you could make a love poem and use the same vigor and originality as in the one i commented on, it would have to be good. that said we often find our writing styles and tend to stay in the safety zone of them.
Anonymous
I wasn't actually referring to using your own poetry, but using someone else, someone more "established."
the one i successfully used was by philip lamantia, titled 'the mermaids have come to the desert." really good stuff if you've never read him before.
the one i successfully used was by philip lamantia, titled 'the mermaids have come to the desert." really good stuff if you've never read him before.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
i always steal flowers.
i need a piece to write a piece.
i need a piece to write a piece.
billy423uk
Joined 28th Mar 2010
Forum Posts: 299
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 299
I've used poetry, stolen it from some of the greats,
but guess what? she always loved the stuff i wrote personally. isn't that how it should be.
and she knew the difference, she's a well read woman. sometimes she'd even cry (seriously) and I'd think it isn't that fuckin bad but now i know it was worse than bad. thing is she loved it. loved me reading it out loud. she bathed in it for god sake, and i loved her for it. i love her still, she lets me breathe and makes me happy. here's a couple i did over ten year ago. they were some of my first poems. it's okay to laugh about them we often do when she asks me to drag them out and speak them out loud again, which i always do even if they suck hairy balls;
Better Than Channal
Like dust you lay
upon me
coat me, covering my plain of existence
where ever I am, you are there
during the day
I see you stealing sunlight
in the night, your beauty
siphons moonshine
Like water
you splash my soul
drench me, submersing pain and fear
each droplet quenching
that arid part of me
Like air
you give life
fill me, allowing me to smell your scent
each warm breath
brings me your fragrance
subtle, sweet perfume
to cherish
------------------------------
Weeping
Weeping, weeping; as awoke from slumber
knew I, your form, and felt it with the dawn
silhouetted dreams, I could not cumber
lay crowd to onslaught; visions beauty borne
vague and wondrous; conceptuality
danced and dallied, carried upon a stream
woven by Morpheous; you were comely
as I beheld your beauty in that dream
oh so sensuous, how you flowed in grace
I knew you as an ardent nymph, you gave
yourself and led my soul to sacred place
such passion made you mine alone till grave
know you my love, delivered me from hell
though loud I wept upon the morning's bell
-----------------------------------------
and finally;
Who is She
Who is the one, who twists my soul?
With wicked deed, or so it seems
Who makes a knot, so thick and tight?
That makes me cringe, in fear and fright
And laughs to me, without respite
It’s nothing dear, I love just you
Her wicked acts, aren’t that at all
It's only I, who makes me fall
She’s pure and true, with darkest eyes
Yet with accusations, me! I say she lies.
She has no fault, of which I blame
Though bears the brunt, of taunts and slander
As, through minefield
After minefield, I meander
Though I make her cry in pain
With words of bitterness and rage
She forgives me, time, and time again
This one, I wrongly call "the temptress"
I hear her tender tones, of calm
And then, like some demented fool
I scream, shout and pay
This sweet thing, with abuse
She takes it, dies a little more
And keeps me hanging, on her arm
She loves me and she shows it too
She always makes me smile and kiss
Shows me how I’ve been remiss
Now I’ve come to realize
That if I make her die
Like, she does on many days
With piece by broken piece of heart
It's I. who has the fault within
Not her, this princess without sin
Who is the one I talk about?
She is rainbow, staunch and proud
She makes me smile, and laugh aloud
Smothers me with love and lust
When in my tantrum, I withdraw
She is all I ever need, and yet I push
make her squirm, as words I use
Destroy her mind and soul
Though with this poem, love and care
With tender words of heart
May I show I know my crime?
And ask forgiveness.......
One more time.........................
Forgive me Rainbow
but guess what? she always loved the stuff i wrote personally. isn't that how it should be.
and she knew the difference, she's a well read woman. sometimes she'd even cry (seriously) and I'd think it isn't that fuckin bad but now i know it was worse than bad. thing is she loved it. loved me reading it out loud. she bathed in it for god sake, and i loved her for it. i love her still, she lets me breathe and makes me happy. here's a couple i did over ten year ago. they were some of my first poems. it's okay to laugh about them we often do when she asks me to drag them out and speak them out loud again, which i always do even if they suck hairy balls;
Better Than Channal
Like dust you lay
upon me
coat me, covering my plain of existence
where ever I am, you are there
during the day
I see you stealing sunlight
in the night, your beauty
siphons moonshine
Like water
you splash my soul
drench me, submersing pain and fear
each droplet quenching
that arid part of me
Like air
you give life
fill me, allowing me to smell your scent
each warm breath
brings me your fragrance
subtle, sweet perfume
to cherish
------------------------------
Weeping
Weeping, weeping; as awoke from slumber
knew I, your form, and felt it with the dawn
silhouetted dreams, I could not cumber
lay crowd to onslaught; visions beauty borne
vague and wondrous; conceptuality
danced and dallied, carried upon a stream
woven by Morpheous; you were comely
as I beheld your beauty in that dream
oh so sensuous, how you flowed in grace
I knew you as an ardent nymph, you gave
yourself and led my soul to sacred place
such passion made you mine alone till grave
know you my love, delivered me from hell
though loud I wept upon the morning's bell
-----------------------------------------
and finally;
Who is She
Who is the one, who twists my soul?
With wicked deed, or so it seems
Who makes a knot, so thick and tight?
That makes me cringe, in fear and fright
And laughs to me, without respite
It’s nothing dear, I love just you
Her wicked acts, aren’t that at all
It's only I, who makes me fall
She’s pure and true, with darkest eyes
Yet with accusations, me! I say she lies.
She has no fault, of which I blame
Though bears the brunt, of taunts and slander
As, through minefield
After minefield, I meander
Though I make her cry in pain
With words of bitterness and rage
She forgives me, time, and time again
This one, I wrongly call "the temptress"
I hear her tender tones, of calm
And then, like some demented fool
I scream, shout and pay
This sweet thing, with abuse
She takes it, dies a little more
And keeps me hanging, on her arm
She loves me and she shows it too
She always makes me smile and kiss
Shows me how I’ve been remiss
Now I’ve come to realize
That if I make her die
Like, she does on many days
With piece by broken piece of heart
It's I. who has the fault within
Not her, this princess without sin
Who is the one I talk about?
She is rainbow, staunch and proud
She makes me smile, and laugh aloud
Smothers me with love and lust
When in my tantrum, I withdraw
She is all I ever need, and yet I push
make her squirm, as words I use
Destroy her mind and soul
Though with this poem, love and care
With tender words of heart
May I show I know my crime?
And ask forgiveness.......
One more time.........................
Forgive me Rainbow
anandosen
Forum Posts: 316
Fire of Insight
6
Joined 22nd Aug 2009Forum Posts: 316
Sound's an interesting thread. I will try to compose a seducing one.
anandosen
Forum Posts: 316
Fire of Insight
6
Joined 22nd Aug 2009Forum Posts: 316
billy423uk, I enjoyed ur compositions. Beautiful stuff.
billy423uk
Joined 28th Mar 2010
Forum Posts: 299
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 299
thanks, my partner thinks they're great
as well but for her it's because they're personal.
if i had to give feedback on them i'd have to say bland and
really cliche in the main. one is also a little archaic.
though i truly love them i personally think them mediocre
at best. more like 2nd rate.
as well but for her it's because they're personal.
if i had to give feedback on them i'd have to say bland and
really cliche in the main. one is also a little archaic.
though i truly love them i personally think them mediocre
at best. more like 2nd rate.
PierreTheMad
Forum Posts: 2808
Dangerous Mind
15
Joined 7th Dec 2009Forum Posts: 2808
I actually wrote a poem for a girl I hated and she ended up wanting to change my mind. Unintentional but the same ends. Does it count?
rayheinrich
Death Plane for Teddy
Forum Posts: 4409
Death Plane for Teddy
Tyrant of Words
32
Joined 4th Dec 2009 Forum Posts: 4409
Poetry used for date rape.
As they say: powerful tools have no intrinsic moral values,
those must be supplied by the user.
Or:
"With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift,
my curse. Who am I? I put crappy little words on paper."
----
I think love poems you say to someone you love don't have to be
that good. It's mostly in how sincerely you say them and how much
the listener loves you. Of course, the main criterion of "good"
in poetry is how much your reader/listener likes it. If it works,
it's great!
p.s. That said, "Better Than Channal" isn't half bad, liked it.
(though you should change 'Channal' to 'Chanel')
----
Pierre said: "... Does it count?"
[font=Courier New][size=2]
I'd say it counts more.
billy423uk
Joined 28th Mar 2010
Forum Posts: 299
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 299
i know lol. the good thing about a personal love poem is that it never needs an edits. it's the channals in it that let us look back and laugh about it. when you're in love mistakes are allowed
were i writing it to post in a poetry group then it has to be as best we can make it.
all our mistakes are there to be righted and commented on. i think i need to do another love poem for my my partner. xxx
were i writing it to post in a poetry group then it has to be as best we can make it.
all our mistakes are there to be righted and commented on. i think i need to do another love poem for my my partner. xxx
Anonymous
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