I feel like I talk to you so often even now, and yet, not often enough. So allow me this space in which to find you if you will, though I know you weren’t one for a fuss.
It’s Autumn Equinox and I’m here, because by now I’d usually be telling you about it. I’d be telling you about campfires and good whittling knives, and you’d be telling me about squirrels and deer with individual names.
And here’s the thing, sweet. I sat around that fire tonight and wrote down all the things I wanted to let go.
It got me thinking of that time we talked about magic and how it appears in the world as I threw my envelope into the fire and watched the paper combust into thousands of stars under that just-past full moon. And I stopped for a moment.
Imagined that letter out on the wind to wherever you are.
I know people will think I’m cracking up; that I’m losing my marbles (what the fuck is new) but I know damn sure you made yourself known a few weeks ago. Bolder than brass. Just enough so that it didn’t hurt for that little while.
And today, I just miss you. And that’s ok.
I miss calling my buddy to talk about everything and nothing. I miss good coffee and clouds of smoke and the name of every terrible band you’ve ever loved. And I miss a man I respected; that I saw as more than a friend.
Sometimes friends become family. Sometimes blood runs deep.
Nobody knows how to handle me.
But you did.
I don’t know how you did it, but you’d simmer my wreck in seconds, as if calm was your weird superpower.
That was my gift from you.
That was your song.
So forgive me a little self indulgence, but you taught me to be selfish with time. And I’m using it to tell you you are right— you were always right. And I miss that a little harder than usual.
Today, fella, the leaves were gold. The sunset was high on the burning hills. There was a tawny owl hooting out a song of old.
I toasted marshmallows.
I know you love that shit.
Written by Northern_Soul
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