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Writing a novel? Written one before? ...Learning myself

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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I kinda jumped the gun I guess becausetiming has never been my strong suit. Neither proportion. Yay me.

But my gun is a little one hour science fantasy comedy. "Pig in a Web" ..... it's a frazzle, like me. Fast paced, based on a play I wrote, and silly as heck.

Imagine invading space aliens who plan to eat your bacon. Literally. And they think they're so smart. Meet their nemesis, Heather, more of a politician than a pig farmer, delusional that she can act, or become famous hunting a new species of talking spiders. Her daddy just can't stand to slaughter piglets, so he enlists juvenile sympathizers for his runtlings whenever possible. Thus enters Willy, named for his dubious objective, as in, Will-he get Heather a bike! (Or will he satisfy alien cravings for bacon?)

I'm trying to write someth Darker yet still hopefully funny, a magical adventure I call "Peter Petunia and the Impotent Succubus" ...about the misadventures of Peter and a no-contact magical pedophile. And his hapless family, forever trying to spare Peter a pimped-out magical fate.

Your turn.

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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Oh, and as if I didn't have enough of a complex about my writing these days, some individuals have told me that my book was worse that useless, without even reading it. Nobody on DUP!

But... could they be right? Because I wonder if I've already destroyed my childhood dream of becoming a novelist? Pig in a Web is my first book after all. And it's not selling. Fact.

I think I was delusional when I tried to launch it. Like a trauma response...

Just hey! I'm gonna save my family and hit it big time! Like JK Rowling. What a flameout!

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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Ever had anyone hate your book without reading it?

My poor husband finds it triggering and disturbing, and he hasn't even read it. And it's got a pig in it! So not kosher. We even have a covenant for our neighborhood we had to sign... no raising pigs!

And I'm loopholing it....

He wrote a song w/a pig in it...

He did it first!

Jess sayin'

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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Also, he's a saint.

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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It's not hard to understand what bugs him.

Ever watched the movie, Coco? I'm like the little boy who steals a guitar after disrespecting a family's trauma-induced hatred of music.

EdibleWords
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Just like the boy, I was forgiven.

strawberrywilds
strawberrywilds
Lina
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First and possibly only rule of writing a novel: the first draft is going to suck. It's supposed to!

Writing novels is an incredibly personal, and different, experience for everyone. The methods employed vary as much as the writers' personalities do and it's similar to everything else in life: to become good at it takes practice. To become great at it and produce a classic you must practice stubbornly and diligently.

I've always found for myself that the first draft is a mad scramble to get the ideas down, rough hatch the plot line and mess the characters up before I forget anything important. Once I hit about eighty or ninety thousand words I leave it alone and drink for about a month (seriously). I find if I return to it immediately I'm overly critical and unable to see clearly while I'm still so close to the subject matter. After a month or two I'm able to put my goggles on and start turning it into an actual story.

Of course as I said it's a deeply personal process and varies for everyone. I won't give you the comforting 'look at how many times *insert author* was rejected!' because it won't improve your writing. This attitude simply lures us into a false sense of complacency when we should be pushing ourselves to be better on a constant basis or we simply stagnate.

EdibleWords
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strawberrywilds said:First and possibly only rule of writing a novel: the first draft is going to suck. It's supposed to!

Writing novels is an incredibly personal, and different, experience for everyone. The methods employed vary as much as the writers' personalities do and it's similar to everything else in life: to become good at it takes practice. To become great at it and produce a classic you must practice stubbornly and diligently.

I've always found for myself that the first draft is a mad scramble to get the ideas down, rough hatch the plot line and mess the characters up before I forget anything important. Once I hit about eighty or ninety thousand words I leave it alone and drink for about a month (seriously). I find if I return to it immediately I'm overly critical and unable to see clearly while I'm still so close to the subject matter. After a month or two I'm able to put my goggles on and start turning it into an actual story.

Of course as I said it's a deeply personal process and varies for everyone. I won't give you the comforting 'look at how many times *insert author* was rejected!' because it won't improve your writing. This attitude simply lures us into a false sense of complacency when we should be pushing ourselves to be better on a constant basis or we simply stagnate.


Thank you! I'm honored by the response! Very insightful.

EdibleWords
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I can't be sure my "method" worked until I see it getting good feedback. Which... the jury is so out, it's not even funny!

But I suppose I could share my weirdo method.

My husband primed my imagination for twenty years, first... his passion is entertainment. My nature is the daughter of a story teller.

Other than that, after my husband played Gomez off-broadway to record sales for the little theatre we got the script for Charlottes Web. He had to read it because of being on the board. I had to read it because I'm the little elephant from Rudyard Kipling's imagination.

So I did, and an alligator of an idea latched onto my too-curiose, mind-trunk. Every time I opened my iPad, I wrote another scene. I felt like somebody hooked on Friends. I had to binge on my imaginary on-demand Netflix whenever I was alone!

Alone, because my shame is my history of helping to hold my husband back from finishing breathtaking story ideas in screenplay and novel form. My reflective talent is the annoying, red headed stepchild of our marriage!

So back to it... I wanted to put it on Kindle. I got frustrated after writing a sequel (and threequel idea) that I wasn't able to format my story for a play for kindle readers on my iPad after using FD writer. So I flopped around.

Then on a whim was like screw it! I'm writing a novel. For ebooks. I failed but made one print copy on Bookemon for my aunt... she pushed me to try kindle...then viola! 77 cute little pages, or 30something in a different format. I could barely do it and had to borrow a friend's laptop.

It's a one hour, reader's digest version of a comedy novel for adults.

So weird.

Only readers can tell me if I scored. Only a few people not including my annoyed husband have even read it. Fact....

EdibleWords
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To anyone who cares... my book will be 4.99 from Dec 1-3.

Ahavati mentioned sales... so here's one to see what happens.

To any curious minds:

Yes. I don't know what I'm doing. Thank you.

EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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Did you know:

Goodreads charges over $100 to those who want to have a book give away.

Pffft.

I thought I'd found a way to give you guys books!


EdibleWords
EdibleWords
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If someone who wants to help me, maybe a DU moderator or something... I'd love to borrow your ability to email etc, to *give away* books to my fave beta readers!

See, I don't want to have sensitive info but I need help in that case. Any takers?

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