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what makes an erotic poem erotic?

PandoraUnleashed
PandoraUnleashed
Dangerous Mind
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I don't even feel like reading or doing any commentary tonight, but since this is my genre of choice, I figured I'd chime in.  I'm not hating on anyone's writing, we all have our unique style & there's an audience for both realms.  I used to write pieces infused with vulgarities, where the thought of being crass, now makes me cringe. When I've felt it appropriate, I've fit the f word in. I'd rather use pretty , flowery metaphors & imagery myself.

I'm not a mad writer who puts out piece after piece quickly & some are faceted in different styles. This is not to disrespect to anyone,  it's just no longer part of "me", but I'm not everyone's cup of tea either. There's a demand for both extremes & I can still read certain pieces from another while enjoying "their" content.  I guess the choice is geared towards the reader.

butters
butters
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SweetKittyCat5 said:care to drop an excerpt here for us to take a look at and make up our own minds? if it's as you say, i'll come read you

It's only fair Ms. Jan.. when you feel comfortable.. let it rip
i'll drop a littl'un - you might find it boring given your own styling

melt

ice cubes melt
in lazy amber
ice drips
on your tongue
as i melt
back to wall
thighs trembling
cheeks on fire


wild peaches

there are wild peaches
in the woods
fuzzy skins beaded with dew
maybe not as showy
as their cultivar cousins
but
when ripened by longer days
restless nights
still sweet upon the lips
the pressing tongue



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

butters
butters
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PandoraUnleashed said:I don't even feel like reading or doing any commentary tonight, but since this is my genre of choice, I figured I'd chime in. I'm not hating on anyone's writing, we all have our unique style & there's an audience for both realms.  I used to write pieces infused with vulgarities, where the thought of being crass, now makes me cringe. When I've felt it appropriate, I've fit the f word in. I'd rather use pretty , flowery metaphors & imagery myself.

I'm not a mad writer who puts out piece after piece quickly & some are faceted in different styles. This is not to disrespect to anyone,  it's just no longer part of "me", but I'm not everyone's cup of tea either. There's a demand for both extremes & I can still read certain pieces from another while enjoying "their" content.  I guess the choice is geared towards the reader.
this

lepperochan
lepperochan
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butters said:i'll drop a littl'un - you might find it boring given your own styling

melt

ice cubes melt
in lazy amber
ice drips
on your tongue
as i melt
back to wall
thighs trembling
cheeks on fire


wild peaches

there are wild peaches
in the woods
fuzzy skins beaded with dew
maybe not as showy
as their cultivar cousins
but
when ripened by longer days
restless nights
still sweet upon the lips
the pressing tongue



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and this one - speaking about my husband

he

when he begins to speak
the long wave swells and rolls towards my shore
sound is sucked from the air
till only the subterranean roar of a distant heart is felt
and breath is held prisoner

a gull breaks and wheels overhead

the wave rushes
i breathe salt and fire
tremble like stars in twilight
know how a heart can fill the spaces
how fingertips can understand a world



Hullo,  


I think one has to be careful not to detach the poem from sexuality altogether. that's to say, I don't think the reader should have to try make the connections. to me, they're decent love poems. terms of erotica I think they lack the pizzazz needed to tease arousal. in my humble opinion erotica and arousal should go hand in hand, or hand in whatever while I agree subtlety is the way to go I think too subtle might defeat the purpose altogether

RexDurkin
RexDurkin
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Personally I try to craft very subtle erotic poetry that merely hints to bedroom acts in a veiled and tasteful manner.
But then there's some other members ( who will go unnamed ) that ruin the erotic category for everybody by polluting it with crass filth and obnoxious toilet humour.
Isn't it time we grew up and raised the bar?

PsycoticMastermind
PsycoticMastermind
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Fertility

 
All that stands
between
you
and
I
is
a cavernous fortress laboriously chis-chis-
chiseled from glacial ice spacious
yet mightily stalagmite tightly
guarding the warm hearth of a fertile goddess;
this veritable chastity belt of climactic
climate change leaving generations unborn
no possible future
but
for my fanned ember
combusting
spontaneously within a much darker
previously unexplored crevice
rendering the whole of your palace glass
with a burning
melt away
sensation felt throughout
the chamber now dripping
with white hot slag


Written by PsycoticMastermind
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butters said:feel free to expand, link to examples, drop lines of your own even....

I'll bite.


cold_fusion
cold_fusion
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erotic
/ɪˈrɒtɪk/

adjective
adjective: erotic

   relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement.

it is all relative and subjective to be frank... too much to either side of the above you fail. You'd either end up with porn or dry abstract work of poetry. period.

keeping it subtle yet clear i believe is the key so that the effect on the 'reader'/audience is not lost.

butters
butters
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lepperochan said:


Hullo,  


I think one has to be careful not to detach the poem from sexuality altogether. that's to say, I don't think the reader should have to try make the connections. to me, they're decent love poems. terms of erotica I think they lack the pizzazz needed to tease arousal. in my humble opinion erotica and arousal should go hand in hand, or hand in whatever while I agree subtlety is the way to go I think too subtle might defeat the purpose altogether


thankyou for your thoughts, time and honesty

i've removed the last of those, since that really was a more personal acknowledgement of love, but have left the other two. i guess subtlety is in the eye of the reader... were those first 2 really so subtle for poetry? maybe i'm just getting old. hmmn. if anything, i thought them both a tad obvious. again, individual preferences i suppose!

butters
butters
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United Kingdom
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Fertility

 
All that stands
between
you
and
I
is
a cavernous fortress laboriously chis-chis-
chiseled from glacial ice spacious
yet mightily stalagmite tightly
guarding the warm hearth of a fertile goddess;
this veritable chastity belt of climactic
climate change leaving generations unborn
no possible future
but
for my fanned ember
combusting
spontaneously within a much darker
previously unexplored crevice
rendering the whole of your palace glass
with a burning
melt away
sensation felt throughout
the chamber now dripping
with white hot slag


Written by PsycoticMastermind
Go To Page  
PsycoticMastermind said:



I'll bite.



hiya

a cavernous fortress laboriously chis-chis-
chiseled from glacial ice spacious

the introduction of all the soft sounds, the lazily drawn-out s/l/A's , are a sensual contrast to the lines following immediately beneath with their more masculine hard I's and the aggressive t's acting like weaponised teeth
yet mightily stalagmite tightly
and swapping directly back into the more feminine imagery and sounds, though fertile is the perfect combination of both- sets up a nice contrast, imo, about the masc/fem tension.
guarding the warm hearth of a fertile goddess;

for my fanned ember
combusting

*smiles

rendering the whole of your palace glass
with a burning
melt away

now this is where it gets significant, for me... the words fall away, replaced by imagery, temperature, the fragility of glass and how it exposes what was previously unseen, the changes of composition - solid to molten... the heat of desire melting away obstacles

the slag part? not so much maybe that's more down to the now dated british use of slag as a derogatory term

so, yes, this for me has definite erotic elements.

poet Anonymous

I don't know what makes it good, but I know it's more popular than anything else on this site. Nature poem 15 reviews. Erotic poem 45-55. People are pretty horny on this site. haha Don't believe me? Look at the views alone for my erotic poems compared to the others.

PsycoticMastermind
PsycoticMastermind
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butters said:

hiya

a cavernous fortress laboriously chis-chis-
chiseled from glacial ice spacious

the introduction of all the soft sounds, the lazily drawn-out s/l/A's , are a sensual contrast to the lines following immediately beneath with their more masculine hard I's and the aggressive t's acting like weaponised teeth
yet mightily stalagmite tightly
and swapping directly back into the more feminine imagery and sounds, though fertile is the perfect combination of both- sets up a nice contrast, imo, about the masc/fem tension.
guarding the warm hearth of a fertile goddess;

for my fanned ember
combusting

*smiles

rendering the whole of your palace glass
with a burning
melt away

now this is where it gets significant, for me... the words fall away, replaced by imagery, temperature, the fragility of glass and how it exposes what was previously unseen, the changes of composition - solid to molten... the heat of desire melting away obstacles

the slag part? not so much maybe that's more down to the now dated british use of slag as a derogatory term

so, yes, this for me has definite erotic elements.


Thank you for taking the time to critique, Mrs. Butters.  It is greatly appreciated.

I knew not the British slang term; I just looked it up.

butters
butters
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RexDurkin said:Personally I try to craft very subtle erotic poetry that merely hints to bedroom acts in a veiled and tasteful manner.
But then there's some other members ( who will go unnamed ) that ruin the erotic category for everybody by polluting it with crass filth and obnoxious toilet humour.
Isn't it time we grew up and raised the bar?
ok, i laughed

i guess there's just a whole disconnect between what some class as erotic and what others do *shrugs*

i found this an interesting reflection:
Because eroticism is wholly dependent on the viewer's culture and personal tastes pertaining to what, exactly, defines the erotic,[7][8] critics have often[how often?] confused eroticism with pornography, with the anti-pornography activist Andrea Dworkin saying, "Erotica is simply high-class pornography; better produced, better conceived, better executed, better packaged, designed for a better class of consumer."[9] This confusion, as Lynn Hunt writes, "demonstrate the difficulty of drawing… a clear generic demarcation between the erotic and the pornographic": indeed arguably "the history of the separation of pornography from eroticism… remains to be written".[10]


LunaGreyhawk
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butters said:for me, erotica is in the unstated, in the moods set by word-sounds and line-breaks, through the senses... sensuality. if it were a painting or photograph, that would be created through lighting, through suggestion, shadows, reflections.

a scene can depict something that has virtually no immediate connection to sex but appeals to us sensuously.

with poetry, i'd say it's the appeal to our senses through suggestion of texture and temperature; the state of an object (solid/liquid/gas); shapes and reactions; tastes, lighting (again); the sounds used to create assonance/soft-hard edges/sinuosity/rhythm, to speed up a line to suggest a quickened heartbeat (for example) or the slow, gentle lapping of a tongue...

for me, the best erotica draws you in to be a part of the poem, so you are experiencing the situation. it's not about describing a sex act with cute or coy language and it has to avoid cliches at all costs. nothing's gonna trip me up more in experiencing an erotic piece like a clunky old cliche - with maybe the exception of a misspell which can break the magic, too, irrevocably!

that 'drawing in' part? depends on if you're writing for fetish genres, too... for some, it may make them feel voyeuristic - great if you're into that, maybe a little discomforting if not. if you're into furries, the stroking of fur may tickle your senses, others may react by 'nah, loose hairs? no thank YOU!'  (there's an incest joke in there somewhere, but it's all relative   )


Every bit of this ^^^

greyblueyellow
greyblueyellow
anthony andrea
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For me the word Erotic stands in distinction to the word Pornographic in that it carries as necessary an aesthetic and psychologically developed aspect to the presentation. There will therefore be a scope to the understanding of the meaning of the word in it;s specificity. Vastly greater than in the domain of Pornography.

butters
butters
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greyblueyellow said:For me the word Erotic stands in distinction to the word Pornographic in that it carries as necessary an aesthetic and psychologically developed aspect to the presentation. There will therefore be a scope to the understanding of the meaning of the word in it;s specificity. Vastly greater than in the domain of Pornography.agreed!

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