Cutting Yourself

What is your opinion on this topic? What are ways to help someone stop?

My opinion on cutting or any other form of self harm is that (often but perhaps not always) it's an insidious part or symptom of depression and other forms of mental illnesses.

Educate yourself about self harm.
Seek professional help
Show support and understanding.
Try not to be judgmental.

Edit: (often but perhaps not always)

Postmortal said:My opinion on cutting or any other form of self harm is that it's an insidious part or symptom of depression and other forms of mental illnesses.

Educate yourself about self harm.
Seek professional help
Show support and understanding.
Try not to be judgmental.

I have over 30 body piercings, and numerous tattoos. Is that not self harm?

Anyone that drinks to get drunk at a party. Is that not self harm?

Ok, context.

My left arm is covered in scars. Wrist to shoulder, from dark days of the past... but it seems a little blasé to say that “all forms of self harm” are a symptom of mental illness. My body art is actually a really positive thing for me... I certainly didn’t do that in a moment of mental illness. If anything it’s a display of many positive things now in my life.  

I guess it depends on your definition of self harm before it gets lumped in the mental illness category.

See edit

8 years ago my daughter was 14. I left our home and got a divorce after a 19 year marriage. She began cutting herself. It lasted about a year. She later said it helped her cope with the pain of the divorce.
I still feel the pain of being the cause of her self destruction. She is now in college and wont speak to me.
My way of coping is alcohol.

I do not perceive tattooing or piercing as self harming. If anything it is art and an outward expression of personal taste.
Cutting on the other hand I feel, is an outward cry for help linked to depression and not what one would ordinarily classify as a mental illness.

I feel classifying cutting as a mental illness would be like saying drinking, drugs, smoking, etc. fall into the same category, for all of these are a form of self harm.

If you’re piercing or permanently marking your skin, it’s self harm. In definition terms. “A form of” self harm.

To explore the topic a little more - can cutting not be a form of self expression? In my case, it wasn’t a cry for help. I never told a single soul... but it was certainly something on the inside trying to get out. In its own strange way, it was an expression.

Definition, definition, definition, my dear.

Let me ask this. When you cut yourself, was it in an artistic way, being tattooing is normally done in a way one feels beautifies their appearance or expresses in some fashion an interest in the subject of the design and normally using color(s) to highlight it? You said, "it was certainly something on the inside trying to get out"

Yes, cutting can be a form of self expression, but I would not classify it in the same category of tattooing or piercing.

Truthfully, I have not felt the need to cut myself, get a tattoo, or pierce anything other than my ears, and then only one hole in each, and I'm sure generation differences play into the tattoo and piercing portion of it.

I stand by my original thought and respect your thoughts on the matter as well. I think we're both looking at it from our own perceptive, which neither is right nor wrong.

As you said, "Definition, definition, definition.

As far as normal is defined, I wrote a poem regarding this. "What decides who's normal"

I feel discussions such as this should bring people closer in understanding each other rather than polarizing them.

Your thoughts on my last sentence?

self harm is very difficult to deal with and is often shamed upon. which is understandable but when you have a body covered with scars and people sit there and judge you it only makes things harder. its not something easy to deal with and i don’t understand why it’s something we as people think of.

How to help someone who is cutting for self harm. There are many ways to try and help. A way for one, might not help another. From therapy, medication, to a range of options, there are many ways to try. First, and foremost is trying to find out the root, the cause, that drives a person to self harm, and then work from that point onwards. I am not a therapist, but talking to someone sympathetic, caring, qualified, is the first step in hopefully understanding why.

My limited experience, which is not indicative of cutting as a whole, was understandable to how I felt at that moment. A few years ago, i cut myself once, in my car, outside my work. Nothing big, by length, nothing suicidal, just an escape from arguably the deepest depression hole, i have found myself in. I wanted to feel something, anything, different. Obviously i was not thinking clearly, which i was aware of, but depression did that to me. I can quote logic concerning the unreasonable thoughts in my head, but depression overrides this. So out of desperation, i wanted a different pain to feel. I withdrew a knife, and cut two small lines in my forearm, away from veins. I was shocked after i did it. Did it help, it’s hard to say? I understand why i did it, and what caused it. It is also a stark reminder of the damaging irrational thoughts caused by depression.
I’d like to think I won’t self harm again, but I cannot say for sure. Medication helps me, until the time it lessens, and then a new dosage, or different medicine is tried. Some days, some weeks, some months are better than others. Some days i fight, some days i endure, some days i hide, and some days i pray.

I know what’s at stake. I know almost every single thing there is concerning my condition. I know all the arguments. I know all the logic. I know what needs to be done, when the feelings/irrationality begins. I am aftaid of an outcome, when I’ve exhausted all my reserves. I know the pain it will cause loved ones. I....

Amorous_tryst said:Let me ask this. When you cut yourself, was it in an artistic way, being tattooing is normally done in a way one feels beautifies their appearance

For those of us who have one familiar toe in the world of body modification, let me introduce you to the world of scarification. The act of cutting or removing skin in patterns, shapes or words to alter the appearance of the skin. When I ask my bod-mod pals what their reasoning is for this (or any bod mod come to that) it’s because they want to express a part of their self. To enhance a part of their selves. To and I quote “beautify their appearance”.

All I can say, is that having experienced many ends of the spectrum (I have over 30 piercings, scarification, tattoing, I’ve experienced intense depression, self-harm and alcoholism) that this is my ‘normal’. The original point was to express that there shouldn’t be a defined line what makes self injury, self injury.

I think what makes it injury, is motive. The act itself is undefinable.

Amorous_tryst said:I feel discussions such as this should bring people closer in understanding each other rather than polarizing them.

Your thoughts on my last sentence?

My thoughts? Oh ok. While part of me largely thinks you’re mugging me off, I’d encourage you to consider your own advice, my dear. It’s good for the soul. Thanking you kindly.

Saximony said:8 years ago my daughter was 14. I left our home and got a divorce after a 19 year marriage. She began cutting herself. It lasted about a year. She later said it helped her cope with the pain of the divorce.
I still feel the pain of being the cause of her self destruction. She is now in college and wont speak to me.
My way of coping is alcohol.

So sorry to hear this

I grew up in a very religious family and was suffocating under indoctrination. Because of this I had to endure a lot of manipulation, some instances of trauma, and even abuse, alone. I was surrounded by people who always told me I was wrong or that I was misunderstanding things. I guess there's a term now for this: gaslighting. When depression and anxiety reared their ugly heads, rather than actual help, I was told constantly I wasn't praying enough, I wasn't trusting God enough, I wasn't living the Christian life good enough. I was alone and I was drowning.

I began cutting to cope. I started when I was 11 and would scratch myself with my fingernails until I bled. Eventually I moved up to scissors, thumbtacks, and razor blades. Sometimes it was just cutting. Sometimes I'd cut designs or words. Sometimes it was to calm myself down. Sometimes it was a way to make the pain inside visible or an actual tangible thing that couldn't be ignored. As an adult, I continued to do it but solely as a way to calm down. I would have sessions where I would do it as long as I needed to, and then it felt like my body was covered in this cleansing fire that just burned and burned until the internal pain quieted down. When I became pregnant, I stopped. With all the doctor's visits, I didn't want them to see that and think I was unfit to be a parent. I wanted to be a parent so bad and I love my little one. Since she was born, I've only resorted to cutting a few times in moments of extreme distress. But for the most part, I've stopped even though the desire is still there.

I fight not to do it now because I don't want my child growing up to think it's the best way to cope. I want to love an support her in a way my family never did and I want her to find other outlets. My opinion on cutting is not to judge those who do. You never fully know someone's story and when someone resorts to it, there's usually a serious reason. I still haven't decided fully if I think it's bad. Unlike drugs, alcohol, and smoking, cutting causes external damage you can control and there are precautions you can take to prevent disease or infection. But I also understand why it alarms people and the negative impact it has on loved ones hardly makes it worth it. So I don't have an answer to offer even if the answer seems obvious. All I have is my own personal experience with it.

My idea is that, for my past experiences with such, cutting is not used as a "I'm suicidal" concept, but rather a coping method one does to keep living. I found it to make my head clear, to soothe the frustration and ache in my chest that made me want to give up.

However, while being an avid druggie/alcoholic/self-harmer/generally bad decision maker, I still stand by the opinion that cutting is in an entirely new category. In a way, I feel that cutting/burning/etc is a form of self destruction that surpasses all other forms and deteriorates mental and emotional health at a faster rate.

That being said, like you, when I have a child, all my bullshit is going down the drain. I will not raise my child in the environment I was raised in. They will know where my scars come from, I will not lie, but I will in no way encourage and will do everything I can to protect them and treat them in a way that will hopefully lead them to not use external extremes to try and cope. Drugs, done, binge drinking, done. Only reason I'm alive right now is the hope that I'll have a kid one day and thus a reason to live. My child will be my life and nothing else will get in the way of me offering them the best life they can have.

One cut..
Two cut..
Three cut..
Four!
Fifth cut..
I hit the floor!