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Little Miss Catfish

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Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 1111

todski28 said:

dissasociation from emotional connectivity isnt as easy as all that depending on your mindset, the reasons we are here vary, our own emotional state is different,

I can deadlift 200kgs for five sets of ten, now you do it.......


Exactly.

Lobo, Ahavati love and respect you as people and writers, however you've drifted the intent and conversation based on what I can see as a personal bugbear onto a different tangent of the same circle.

I agree. I almost said I was sick of the same ole same ole argument regarding multiples, but will never stop justifying them when addressed.


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Trixareforkids
Dangerous Mind
United States
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Joined 2nd Jan 2016
Forum Posts: 2571

I think what I'm trying to ascertain is does this community value individual freedom over the wellbeing of the community as a whole and vulnerable individuals in particular.

In my time here there seems to have been a shift that leans more toward protecting the community, and I'm for that, so what I remain curious about is how far that leaning goes and individual members observations on the ethics of how and how far the community (led by the admin) goes to protect its members vs the restrictions those protections put on individual freedom.

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LobodeSanPedro
Guardian of Shadows
Sierra Leone
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3034

Trixareforkids said:

Ok, so I'm curious, if someone is just having fun fucking with people w/o bullying or seeking gain, then it's okay with you?

Not as a Mod ...

I'm not sure how you're distinguishing the two: bullying vs. "fucking with people"?  

... but for conversation purposes, if I had written all my female voiced poems under a feminine pseudonym to illicit more identifiable or sympathetic views from other women who might have experienced something brought out in the poem ... fine, okay.  ... If they read & comment ... I thank them and move on.

If my female voice starts getting overly suggestive and even aggressive PMs from guys; then my first line of defense is to block them and or report it to a Mod.

The "fucking with them" aka bullying aka cat fishing occurs when I start playing into a particular male member's PMs telling him everything about how lonely I am, and or distraught over my last relationship, and how "I wish I could meet someone like you" ...

THAT'S JUST FUCKED UP!

Yeah, the guy should be smarter but some men (idiots that we are) are just stupid enough to believe every pair of tits in an avatar must be the person writing the poetry, and "her" PMing "me" versus the other hornballs here makes me special ... ayi Dios Mio aka WTF!

... How do you weigh the potential harm to other, more vulnerable, members with someone's liberty? And I am asking you in your member hat not your mod hat.

If a writer needs to gender bend to play with a different voice, and needs another pseudonym as part of that journey ... fine.

Reeling people in to play with their emotions just makes said person a spineless asshole.



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Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 10th Oct 2009
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Find a good alter-ego and stick with it.
Good meant in both senses: both in the sense of the alter-ego suiting the needs your actual ego does not have fulfilled, and in the sense of a morally positive good where the intent is to help not harm. Having an inbuilt termination as any and all human beings, is surely a cruelty enough to seek kindness and goodness. (Any argument then of existence being cruel so you must be cruel is rather childlike and playground rules: they hit you so you hit them so they hit you, add infinity!)

On the internet, not just DU, any and all representations and communications must bear in mind common sense and common decency. Just because it is online does not mean you should deceive or rage out, you have the freedom to do so but just because you can is not an effective mantra and reason to do so.

Due to the nature of anonymity on the internet, the web, online, most communication lacks the nuances and simplicity of talking to someone in person. Therefore the risk of someone being not what they present is very high and very likely, though that should not then mean everyone goes around with their guard up and suspicion at every word. Especially not when people are connected globally but still lack connection with other people. (Its not the distance but the depth that counts!)

Enough side tracking! Any member has the freedom to artistically express themselves (though with a thousand added clauses to that), but no member has the freedom to be a catfishing asshat. - Someone seeking to deceive and entice others into a relationship by adopting a false persona.
Not only is falsity a bad, negative, basis for relationships, but almost interferes with some of the basic human rights, though strangely enough there is no Human Right which deals with falsity or impersonating another person.

Ah! More side tracking!
Catfishing can be considered on par and equal to trolling, something which handily enough breaks the terms on DU:
"You may not post or transmit any false, defamatory, abusive, threatening or illegal User Content or User Content that infringes on the rights of others or the ability of others to enjoy the Site."
- and I m sure it can easily be argued that being on the receiving end of catfishing infringes the enjoyment of others and is false User Content.

A poem or profile is not false User Content, as it is true to an idea: true to the style that is adopted and mostly affects the producer not the recipient. Catfishing is false user Content, and through private messages affects a recipient equally if not more than the producer.

So to sum up: you can be false and deceiving in your poems and profiles, but should be true in your private messages. And no, being true to a personality or persona that deceives another person in order to affect them is not valid. (I can call myself a 'Lord' but have no actual documentation to back it up and am not in the habit of demanding people treat me as a Lord supposedly should be treated!)





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MadameLavender
Guardian of Shadows
United States
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Joined 17th Feb 2013
Forum Posts: 4048

It must really be nice to have all the time in one's life , to juggle mulitple accounts. I wish I had some of that time, though not to have multiple accounts, but just for the time itself....

(Gettin' back to work now --dinner break is over ;  toodles)

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lepperochan
Craic-in-a-box
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 11757

ahh, a lively debate and exchange of ideas

wait,  

come on there Lord V  are we saying it should be a punishable offence to lie in a private message. that's deep, man. a deep orWELLllian haha

to be clear : I'm not condoning the behaviour.  

to coin an old Irish-Egyption phrase  (in English) " trying to draw a line in a sand-dune"

[ I lied a tiny bit there in the name of creativity. it's not an old Irish-Egyption phrase in English. it's a new Irish phrase in English, thats to say I haven't checked if it's an old one ]

good stuff though, good thread to read













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JohnnyBlaze
Fire of Insight
United States
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Joined 20th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 628

MadameLavender said:It must really be nice to have all the time in one's life , to juggle mulitple accounts. I wish I had some of that time, though not to have multiple accounts, but just for the time itself....

(Gettin' back to work now --dinner break is over ;  toodles)


It's easy to do when one just uses them to write.




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lepperochan
Craic-in-a-box
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 11757

I must have missed why whoever left left. who was it ?

ideally people wouldn't lie to each other full stop. I do of course apreciate the different sets of thinking going on

I find it hard to grade or class lies. in that context I find it hard to see where any line could be drawn.

protect yourself. not talking about a sophisticated security system.

if you make a mistake, learn from it. teach others. protect each other that way. that's a community. communicate.

I'm mindfull my posts are many on this thread, so I'll keep it minimum for a bit

*hat tip*





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Whispers
Twisted Dreamer
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Joined 12th Aug 2016
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Expression as some else is freeing...
Catfishing the opposite

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LobodeSanPedro
Guardian of Shadows
Sierra Leone
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3034

Whispers said:Expression as some else is freeing...
Catfishing the opposite


Exactly ... more to the point it's just plain vile!

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Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 5722

It would only be Orwellian Craic if Big Brother got to look through all the private messages and make sure who is who and who is lying, regardless of any catfishing intent or content.
Sometimes drawing lines in the sand is all we can do. Besides, seems plenty of Englishmen have done exactly that in the past. I would at least hope to draw the lines to liberate and educate people, not to fence them in or segregate them.
Perhaps you should stick to one heap of a reply rather than multiple replies if you are concerned over repeated posting someone diminishing your words?

As ever the old topic of expression and reception but in slightly new clothes.

Free yourself, but don't entrap others.

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LobodeSanPedro
Guardian of Shadows
Sierra Leone
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3034

Viddax said:

Free yourself, but don't entrap others.


BRAVO!

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lepperochan
Craic-in-a-box
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 11757

" It would only be Orwellian Craic if Big Brother got to look through all the private messages and make sure who is who and who is lying, regardless of any catfishing intent or content."

way I see it is this:

without Big Bro the only other option is to email santa claus and ask him if any members have been lying..

so we're probably left with big bro.

how would that work ?


ps "Free yourself, but don't entrap others."

lovely soundbyte

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Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom
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Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 5722

Maybe that's good that there is no Big Bro to know all or Santa Claus to give the list of the naught and nice. Means we can rely on faith of humanity instead, and only peek behind the shutters when people cross one of the lines. Rather than always be watching and judging: instead we (the mods) are ever vigilant and can rely on people do things for themselves at times rather than be led like helpless children. Just because life gives you the choice of oranges or lemons, does not mean another option is possible; plenty of people have proven that in the past.

A soundbyte and slogan to spread.

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