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Little Miss Catfish

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

I agree with Lep about how you have to protect yourself, to some extent.  It doesn't matter where you are, whether it is real life or the cyber world. Those dodgy characters out to fool people are everywhere.  I have been fucked over in both [abused mentally and physically] now I protect myself. Lessons learned and all that jazz.  But when you get some waste of space, soliciting members via PM, then they need to be outed. To pose as another gender and PM someone in a flirtatious manner is so fucked up

Yes, I fell for someone, hook line and sinker in this place four years ago, only to find out further down the line how he had lied to me and then to find out he was back here recently, under a new guise fooling those who knew him before by pretending to be someone else,to only own that shit after months of faking it. I avoid all up close and personal relationships online now and have done for sometime. Safer that way.  I have had many weird PM's, I just delete them.

I loath it when I know people are being sucked in by those kind of people and I will speak out.  I hate liars.

Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom 31awards
Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 6672

todski28 - I think you misinterpret my responses to your questions. I was stating some sample worst case examples for the generic 'you' not you personally. I was not under the impression that you were "ready to be poleaxed by the relationship" as you put it, neither am I trying to belittle or underplay the importance or value of online relationships. Quite the reverse, I am trying to promote more online (but not necessarily intense) relationships: so that people can be friends on DU without having suspicions and one eye always open for betrayal.

Craic - a pinned post in the welcome group would be useful. Including a how to avoid and how to report, not just watch out for X and then nothing about what happens if X happens.

Magdalena and Trixareforkids - I understand your disgust and hatred for liars and members with false pretences, and I do not wholly condone them (though there is some falsity and lies within personas and online avatars), but publically outing them does not seem a good idea to me. There are people who get a kick out of being displayed as a rule-breaker or troll. I would much prefer that they are simply removed and can enjoy the embrace of the void, and waste time in their own company rather others. Though of course these words do not prevent you from doing as you wish or holding to your own ideas.

Trixareforkids - The past/present of war might point to the reason for the underplaying of emotional damage. A dead soldier cannot fight, but a living one can, and them having a few emotional problems does not affect their ability to fight too much. Yet with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and shellshock, regret, suddenly the world is having to open its eyes to the fact that a dead soldier is bad for the battle, but a broken soldier is bad for life: they are a loss both as a soldier and as a civilian and human being.
Plus the days of stiff upper lips and repressed emotions are gone, for better or worse. Mostly better, things like atomic bombs and genocide and general stuff from World War II, are on a scale that cannot be fully comprehended without emotional engagement.
- Perhaps it this lack of emotional awareness that further causes trolling and catfishing; yet another cause of people simply not being able to exist in a positive way with positive creations.

Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States 116awards
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 14281

Viddax said:
- Perhaps it this lack of emotional awareness that further causes trolling and catfishing; yet another cause of people simply not being able to exist in a positive way with positive creations.


Bottom line, those who are focused on creating art don't have time for BS trolling or catfishing.

Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States 116awards
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 14281

Magdalena said:
I loath it when I know people are being sucked in by those kind of people and I will speak out.  I hate liars.


I'm right with you.

Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom 31awards
Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 6672

Ahavati said:

Bottom line, those who are focused on creating art don't have time for BS trolling or catfishing.


Unfortunately art is not always that easy. Just think of all the pain and misery missed if Hitler had stuck to painting. Or found his feet as a poet or sculptor! And with that name drop this thread should supposedly end, but hopefully it won't!

Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States 116awards
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 14281

Viddax said:

Unfortunately art is not always that easy. Just think of all the pain and misery missed if Hitler had stuck to painting. Or found his feet as a poet or sculptor! And with that name drop this thread should supposedly end, but hopefully it won't!


EXACTLY! 👊

rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051

i still feel there is a need for a boxing ring group. i sense a fair quantity of pent up frustration that is not released in the usual
formalities and decorum of posting guidolines
may i envision a group joinable only by members of long standing.
the rules of engagement would be#anythinggoes#.
the person starts by inviting the other party into the ring. then let the venting begin. to bring to a close...

lepperochan
Craic-Dealer
Guardian of Shadows
Palestine 67awards
Joined 1st Apr 2011
Forum Posts: 14449

even art has it's grey areas and subjectivity. There are some really good German frontline poems, also English fronline poems. ( poems written by a soldier on the from line )

from both wars. I've read some. and watched a BBC documentary which re-created their words

I've read poetry by Brittish soldiers stationed in Ireland pre-22' I see it as art, even though I know They were part of a broader ..I'll say evil for want of a better word


I think art is a very broad a spectrum of subjectivness which moves in and out of societal favour


Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States 116awards
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 14281

rabbitquest said:i still feel there is a need for a boxing ring group. i sense a fair quantity of pent up frustration that is not released in the usual
formalities and decorum of posting guidolines
may i envision a group joinable only by members of long standing.
the rules of engagement would be#anythinggoes#.
the person starts by inviting the other party into the ring. then let the venting begin. to bring to a close...


Some of us have been hoping for a Thunderdome forEVER!

Umm
Dangerous Mind
Latvia 1awards
Joined 6th Dec 2015
Forum Posts: 2373

Trixareforkids said:

I'm curious as to the specifics of what you find vile?  You say this discussion, this discussion is about what we as a community think is the appropriate way to handle Catfish and trolls.  


(Vile was too strong of a word. I just meant that some of the responses littered throughout the thread were mean and made me go "ew"..perhaps im wrong about how mean they were)

Isn't letting the mods deal with it, the only appropriate way to handle them ?

I wouldn't want to be a part of a community whose members publicly displayed anyone's PMs for whatever reason. It seems like there'd be little practical purpose to it...more than anything, it would just be a gross form of entertainment. If a person has done something that could get them banned, why not let mods deal with it privetly and warn people if there's truly a need for a public announcement


poet Anonymous

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David_Macleod
14397816
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom 39awards
Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 2983

I have never had a weird PM on DU  and I am now feeling left out :-P

Ahavati
Tyrant of Words
United States 116awards
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 14281

David_Macleod said:I have never had a weird PM on DU  and I am now feeling left out :-P

LMAO!!!!

David_Macleod
14397816
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom 39awards
Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 2983

UPDATE: I have just had a weird PM from a guy pretending to be a girl who's pretending to be a jellyfish looking for sex - how did they know I had a thing for jellyfish?

LobodeSanPedro
Tyrant of Words
Sierra Leone 109awards
Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3304

David_Macleod said:UPDATE: I have just had a weird PM from a guy pretending to be a girl who's pretending to be a jellyfish looking for sex - how did they know I had a thing for jellyfish?

maybe it's the jellyfish condom you're wearing on your head jk

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