What is considered as a real friend?

Hello all, I simply would like an opinion in this case.
I met a friend which I'm rather fond of. But unfortunately this month I been having a few rough days and I'm still recovering from depression. Truth to be told, a close friend of mine since I was born died on this month due to a car accident which is my own fault and I live on thinking its a fault of mine. My parents are rather verbally abusive and hardly spend time with me ever since I was a child, so to be honest except my grandmother, this friend of mine is the only closest person I have with me.

During the autumn season, I find myself being more sensitive than usual and is more vulnerable towards depression. Mainly because autumn simply reminds me of the incident. Now to the main problem.

This friend of mine...I confide my feelings with her around 3 times out of the whole time I met her which is around 5 months as we talked everyday and I find myself considering her as a friend. I shared about my depression and she indeed did make me feel better, hence I always thank her for that. However, she kept telling me that I'm making her anxiety worse. Which I understand and told her that I can accept that, even told her it's best to avoid me for a while because I have a feeling I might be in a depressive state for a while. Despite telling that so, she still messages me and says things such as:

"I feel like crap for not being able to make you feel better" (which I always told her I need time to get over it and that she has helped me more than she thinks)

"I lost someone of my own blood" ( I told her that It must be hard and I apologize for it. But I also told her that our life and event happens in a different way and different time. Death events shouldn't be compared cause both hurts badly)

"You said it like your life is worse than others, others have it harder than you" (I'm very particular about this, cause I live on with people saying this to me. So in a way, I vow to myself to never say things that could make people think of such way)

"When you are like sad and depressive, you are just making my anxiety worse" (I told her that I can't help it at times. It's not like I want to be sad and depressive and I even told her that maybe it's best she avoid me for a while for her own sake)

"You shouldn't write when you are depressed, you'll just make others go depressed as well" (Writing is my own way of escape depression, in fact, writing makes me feel better)

Lastly, she said this which hurt the most
"I wish I never get attached to your cheerful self and think you are a cheerful person"

I'm not exactly a cheerful person and I'm not always depressive either. I'm just in the center I suppose. But I can't help and feel like I'm the bad guy here, I'm considering if I really should avoid having people around as friends.
So I wanted to hear the opinions of others. Negative or positive I am willing to accept every word. Sorry for the long rant. Thank you.

Wow first of all I am truly sorry for everything that u have been thru. Sometimes I get sad and start thinking bout things that were my fault and start being In a regretful state. Even though I know I must move forward and just let the past be the past. Yes I am one who wishes that there was a reset button on life and just take back the hurtful  things I either sad or done to people who I love.

Now as for the friend thing I sorta have this same issue. I have a hard time letting ppl in and trusting people not knowing if their motives are true or not. I simply keep stuff bottled in just becuz I figured ppl would either careless and I wouldn't want to be a burden to no one. I am not saying u shouldn't have friends becuz there are still some good people out there who have ur best interest at heart and are willing to not leave u when things get rough.

Your not the bad guy simply becuz people go through traumatic things in life all the time like something simple as not being excepted to the college of ur choice or something as big as losing a loved one. People get depressed all the time and as ur friend she should understand that u still dealing with painful memories and should just not question u and just be there as a FRIEND!!!!

With that being said sometimes u may not can confide in ur friend but tell someone close to u. Simply becuz I am slowly learning that if u keep that I'm too long it will push u to the point that if u don't tell someone it will eat and eat at u. Tell your grandmother i am sure she has wonderful advice. Also learn to forgive yourself for the accident and I can imagine how hard it is, but think of your friend as ur guardian angel.

I am sorry about my rant but this particularly thread touched me. So again I am sorry for your lost and I hope you find peace within yourself to forgive yourself.

Ditch the friend if they treat you like that. they aren't worth your time.

A real friend thinks about your wellbeing

I believe that if that girl was truly a friend she would understand that words like that only hurt more. I also suffer from depression and I'm well aware of what it's like and the impact it can have on others around me but I also know that if someone was truly my friend they would do whatever they can to make me happy and they know I would do the same for them. You aren't in the wrong at all. You didn't ask to be depressed it wasn't a choice and if you could be happy you would but depression makes that a lot harder and I don't think she understands that. You shouldn't have to feel like you cause others problems (: people who truly accept you will be there with you no matter what but if you close yourself off you may never be able to find those people. Personally I think you should tell the girl that what she said hurt you and that if you could snap your finger and make it all better you would in a heartbeat but it's not that easy. A true friend would help through anything so if she isn't I don't think she's a true friend to you and that you may be better off without that negativity. You can look for more friends and I know it'll be hard but you can do it (: I have faith in you (:

This is a hard one but for me a true friend will always have your back not just on your good days but your bad as well and if you need a break she should respect that,
you have explained it to her, I hear you with writing I feel better after writing it helps process my minds messed up space, you have to do what is right for you no matter if others think it is in your better interest to do this or do that only you know that one, I once had a female friend like that man she drove me nuts as she also suffered anxiety but I said to her I suffer both depression and anxiety and she told me that she knew me better than I knew myself haha, I'm like you don't know shit about me we fought everyday because she had my best interests at heart somshe said lol but your actions are your words,
Sometimes people only tell you what's best for you because it's best for them if you do what ever it is they are talking about, I find my self people like that have their own hidden agenda, remember nothing is easy and nothing is free, she said that when your like that it brings her down a true friends would find a better way to say it even if this was true,
Feel free to drop a line if you need to rant or a friend as I know what that is all about 😊

Someone who is ready to tell you the cold, hard truth. Friendship....not some warm fuzzy mix-up, it is but cold fusion.

Someone who keeps your secrets even when they're the angriest with you.

 Ya know what kid.  Your question was 1 of the hardest lessons of my life.  

 What I've learned is your real family, isn't always made by blood.
 Anyone in life that causes more harm than good to ones person, is not a friend.  However, one must know the difference between hard love, and abuse.  People try to help, even when they don't have a clue.  And more often than not, it does more harm than good.
 A true friend is easy to find.  Cry help, and see who comes running toward you, instead of away.  And when they get there, they help in any way they can, and their help doesn't cause more harm than good.  Their every intention is geared toward your well being, and survival.  Those friends aren't someone who plays on your pity, or theirs, and aren't afraid to smack one upside the head when needed.
 Friends like that, are damn hard to find.  But never give up, and know the difference.  Because the effort of sorting through all that chaff to find 1 diamond is all ways, and for all time worth the effort.  And will always be rewarded.
 When I quit looking, and put myself, and the things i believe, and the way i am Forward.  Those kind of people started popping up in my life like roses in a burnt field.
 So when you find your's don't make the mistake of calling one of them a friend.  When you are at your worst, when the whole world is putting you on the cross, and 1 person looks you in the eye, stands by your side, and calls bs, defends you, puts up for you, and does for you.  Without even a moment of doubt or judgement.  
 Don't insult them by calling them a friend, call it what it is.  That kind of a person, is freakin family, and always will be.  Beyond all boundries, even death and time.

When you are at your worst, when the whole world is putting you on the cross, and 1 person looks you in the eye, stands by your side, and calls bs, defends you, puts up for you, and does for you.  Without even a moment of doubt or judgement.

Bravo. I've been been blessed enough to have just that.

Gearigon said:  Ya know what kid.  Your question was 1 of the hardest lessons of my life.  

 What I've learned is your real family, isn't always made by blood.
 Anyone in life that causes more harm than good to ones person, is not a friend.  However, one must know the difference between hard love, and abuse.  People try to help, even when they don't have a clue.  And more often than not, it does more harm than good.
 A true friend is easy to find.  Cry help, and see who comes running toward you, instead of away.  And when they get there, they help in any way they can, and their help doesn't cause more harm than good.  Their every intention is geared toward your well being, and survival.  Those friends aren't someone who plays on your pity, or theirs, and aren't afraid to smack one upside the head when needed.
 Friends like that, are damn hard to find.  But never give up, and know the difference.  Because the effort of sorting through all that chaff to find 1 diamond is all ways, and for all time worth the effort.  And will always be rewarded.
 When I quit looking, and put myself, and the things i believe, and the way i am Forward.  Those kind of people started popping up in my life like roses in a burnt field.
 So when you find your's don't make the mistake of calling one of them a friend.  When you are at your worst, when the whole world is putting you on the cross, and 1 person looks you in the eye, stands by your side, and calls bs, defends you, puts up for you, and does for you.  Without even a moment of doubt or judgement.  
 Don't insult them by calling them a friend, call it what it is.  That kind of a person, is freakin family, and always will be  

Gem!

It's something else when it finds you

Understatement of the year ( maybe lifetime ).